mushthebush
Rock Star
Bronze Level
I'll try to bring a little clarity to the question with a pertinent answer.
Clarification:: There is no such thing as "poker addict". You're not getting the sweats and shivers if you don't play. So, please leave addiction to actual drugs that deserve the entitlement.
1. Should she even be your wife or he your husband if they are bothered by your passion instead of supporting it?
2. You should not play in secret when he/she goes on a trip, you should be HONEST to each other and SUPPORT each other. Go on a trip together, play poker together and do together what each of you like to do, make compromises for each other. Otherwise go your own way because you are not a couple and what you have is merely a bill-splitting friendship.
3. If someone makes you choose between your passion and your relationship with them, there's something wrong with at least one of you. So, call it even and find someone you care about and who cares about you.
3. If you don't have time for a relationship and for giving a damn about that other person go ahead and chase whatever you care about. Remember that your husband or your wife is a person not your property. So stop being entitled and be true to yourself.
4. If you are actually in a tough situation, then COMMUNICATE, complex language is our advantage over other species, so why wouldn't you use it to it's full extent? Frustrations, secrets, go ahead, if you're married, you're a team, speak it out, find solutions together.
5. There are always ways to mediate issues and you don't need help, you need honesty and care. Go ahead, open up.
6. If you actually have a gambling issue and you're losing money for "fun". Just stop playing all together. Poker should not be that, and if it is, it's definitely not a passion and you're doing it wrong. Now, go and enjoy your family.
Clarification:: There is no such thing as "poker addict". You're not getting the sweats and shivers if you don't play. So, please leave addiction to actual drugs that deserve the entitlement.
1. Should she even be your wife or he your husband if they are bothered by your passion instead of supporting it?
2. You should not play in secret when he/she goes on a trip, you should be HONEST to each other and SUPPORT each other. Go on a trip together, play poker together and do together what each of you like to do, make compromises for each other. Otherwise go your own way because you are not a couple and what you have is merely a bill-splitting friendship.
3. If someone makes you choose between your passion and your relationship with them, there's something wrong with at least one of you. So, call it even and find someone you care about and who cares about you.
3. If you don't have time for a relationship and for giving a damn about that other person go ahead and chase whatever you care about. Remember that your husband or your wife is a person not your property. So stop being entitled and be true to yourself.
4. If you are actually in a tough situation, then COMMUNICATE, complex language is our advantage over other species, so why wouldn't you use it to it's full extent? Frustrations, secrets, go ahead, if you're married, you're a team, speak it out, find solutions together.
5. There are always ways to mediate issues and you don't need help, you need honesty and care. Go ahead, open up.
6. If you actually have a gambling issue and you're losing money for "fun". Just stop playing all together. Poker should not be that, and if it is, it's definitely not a passion and you're doing it wrong. Now, go and enjoy your family.
Kenzie 96
Legend
Loyaler
I was offered money not to play poker would you?
I thought it was funny I'm retired an have family here an only on certain tourneys I like to play on, an tourney start at 1:00 well with respect I work before an after meals preparing, I was offered 1.00 not to play, its not the money, its the fun an game to win, or skill, Its not interfering like its not my fault they didnt start the grill early lol like I asked them to, There the ones that sat around watching tv.
Nice of your family to let you know exactly how much you mean to them.
Pbrcrew
Rising Star
Bronze Level
Marriage and poker
Can be very good combination. In my case in my life was good. My girlfriend and later wife was teach me how to play real poker with position and everything. And actually we never had a fight or something bad never in our life when we speak about poker hehehehe. And if course I can beat her always and always. Beacuse its always win by student , teacher never win hehehhe
Can be very good combination. In my case in my life was good. My girlfriend and later wife was teach me how to play real poker with position and everything. And actually we never had a fight or something bad never in our life when we speak about poker hehehehe. And if course I can beat her always and always. Beacuse its always win by student , teacher never win hehehhe
jaymfc
R.I.P DJ & Buck
Loyaler
if you are a poker addict you need help with more than your marriage.
get help first and the marriage will fall back in place.
sounds fair. my unwritten rule is never talking poker to a nonplayer.
#1. there are many many addictions that do not include drugs and gambling is a major one :deal:
#2 if she's on a trip it's nobody's business what he was doing, no need to lie.
#3.1 if poker is your passion and not your wife you may have trouble anyway.
#4 agreed
#6 losing money for fun is not a gambling issue. they call it a recreational player.
without them, there would be no poker.
are you suggesting divorce? they only offered $1Nice of your family to let you know exactly how much you mean to them.
excellent
sorry to hear of your troubles (something in the water these days) but very happy to hear you found a way to deal with it stay strong me time is just that. no one's business what you do during it and all humans need it.
maybe they should convince us on the need to go shopping or hang out with the girls.
that's a fact brother, life is real poker and marriage is a tough heads-up game.
Chief talking bull
Visionary
Bronze Level
hackmeplz
Sleep Faster
Silver Level
I've been saying this for a decade since I was single and now that I'm married it hasn't changed. There's two possibilities:
1. It's an actual addiction that is harming you and she's right to be concerned. In that case you should quit not because of your marriage but because it's good for you whether you were married or not. Gambling addiction is real, and you should fight it.
2. If it's not an actual addiction, and it's your own money you're risking, whether you're a winning or losing player, you should leave, although you also should have had this discussion before and never gotten married. Even if you would be happier with your wife than playing poker, you won't be happy in a relationship where she wants to control you to that level. This won't be the only area she wants to control you, and giving into this just isn't healthy. You will resent her, and she'll feel like she has the right to control your behavior, which she doesn't.
As I mentioned I had this view before I was married, but now I'm married and my wife is pretty anti-gambling in general. I had a conversation about 6 months after we started dating about it and I said I'm going to gamble and play poker, if that's going to be a problem let's just break up amicably now and save ourselves the trouble, but I promise I'm not going to be irresponsible with my poker or gambling, and I have separate money set aside for it. Luckily she said yes it's fine as long as I don't reach into our shared money and we've been dating for almost 8 years and married for almost 2 now and I couldn't be happier.
1. It's an actual addiction that is harming you and she's right to be concerned. In that case you should quit not because of your marriage but because it's good for you whether you were married or not. Gambling addiction is real, and you should fight it.
2. If it's not an actual addiction, and it's your own money you're risking, whether you're a winning or losing player, you should leave, although you also should have had this discussion before and never gotten married. Even if you would be happier with your wife than playing poker, you won't be happy in a relationship where she wants to control you to that level. This won't be the only area she wants to control you, and giving into this just isn't healthy. You will resent her, and she'll feel like she has the right to control your behavior, which she doesn't.
As I mentioned I had this view before I was married, but now I'm married and my wife is pretty anti-gambling in general. I had a conversation about 6 months after we started dating about it and I said I'm going to gamble and play poker, if that's going to be a problem let's just break up amicably now and save ourselves the trouble, but I promise I'm not going to be irresponsible with my poker or gambling, and I have separate money set aside for it. Luckily she said yes it's fine as long as I don't reach into our shared money and we've been dating for almost 8 years and married for almost 2 now and I couldn't be happier
.