**** I have to quit tonight. Sitting here literally unable to function. Just lost 10 by ins which was half my roll. Like I get we really want this stuff to happen but I was just about to withdraw my roll to by a new laptop. Now I'm going to have to rebuild.
Playing 16nl the tables were super juicy tonight. I had this mega fish directly on my right as well as at least two fish on each of my other tables. So in one hand He straight ships 140bbs over a raise and a flat. I call with aces and go back to my other tables, few minutes later I see I don't have the 300bb stack I should so check the hand history, he had K6o and binked a straight. Fine move on. Anyway I'm going up and down on the other tables and feel like I'm playing .pretty well, finding good spots ect ect. Again after some time I get it in again ~100bbs vs the same fish, KK vs JJ, he binks a J on the turn. Fine, he's on my right so I'm going to get him soon. Still doing alright on the other tables. Get involved in another big pot ~130 BBS, same fish I have 1010 on 10 7 6 board after the money goes in he turns over 89 no paired board. Now a slight frown has formed on my face, how the **** does this guy run so godly. Anyway. I don't let it effect my game (as far as I'm aware) the other tables are pretty profitable, like the regs aren't giving me too much trouble and I'm value betting well against the fish, I was vaugly aware of some medium to big pots that ended up turning sour but for the most part I scarsly pay any attention to it. Like I remember there were spots where I'd have like AK on a A high board and value bet to the river only to see their 9,10 making two paid on the river. But as I say, most of these spots barely registered. I have auto top up and auto rebut set plus multi table so usually it doesn't hurt me.
Anyway I'm now sitting with 230bbs with the fish on my right on about 400+ button opens and the fish in the blind flats. I pick up KK and squeeze. Both players call. The flop comes in 7 high two toned so the fish straight jams. I guess at this point I should really consider folding. Since we're so deep and I only have 1 pair in a spot he could have sets (or two pair, he's a fish after all) plus I have a player to act behind. But I figure this guy probably has like a flush draw or random overs he's jamming because he thinks I missed. Sure enough I call and he has a naked j high flush draw. He ****ing hits the flush on the turn.
I sit there glaring at my screen. I decide that I better check my roll. That's when I lose it. I'm down about 10 ****ing buy ins and can't afford to play anymore since my roll is half ****ing gone. Meanwhile this asswipe is sitting there with a super deep stack and probably going to hit a ****ing milestone hand then donk the whole lot of to some reg who isn't me. I snap close all my tables, not even bothering to wait for bb. At this point I spas out for the first time. I rip up my pillow, which is now all over the place and just broke a glass when I chucked a shoe across the room.
I genuinely though I was better than this. Like I thought my mental game was pretty good compared to most but apparently I'm just as probe to tilt as the next guy. I guess I haven't had an experience like this yet where I'm losing to the same guy over such a short timeframe. I've had worse variance in hypers which is the only time I've felt like I do now.
Any tips on how to cope. I thought I was semi decent, but this is s situation all experienced players have faced plenty of times and cope much better than me. It turns out I'm just a fish after all. At least in mental game. How do I fix this?