Things said at the poker table that should be banned:

Tiloke

Tiloke

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Sometimes when I lose a big pot I'll say, " HA HA, Jokes on you, I just had those chips up my butt."

It usually gets laughs.

Apparently someone thought that was bad enough to report me and bodog thought it was bad enough to mute me for a week.


I still say it when I lose a large pot.
 
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housebreaker

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I called because 2 and 7 are my kids ages

or my personal fav: I called because your wife said you were bluffing ( i wanted to kill her )
 
cardfetish

cardfetish

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One I hear on UB alot - "Classic UB, they always let the donks win" ...they do? where do I sign up for donk training....I want to win

another pet peave- ppl who type n abbr. i h8 hvng to read insults 2x.....

and lastly, the ones who berate you for playin Q3 in the BB....."your a donk, you call Q3?" - Actually yes, I am forced to call in the BB.....duh!!! I can't help it if everyone checked and I flopped a straight!
 
spranger

spranger

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and lastly, the ones who berate you for playin Q3 in the BB....."your a donk, you call Q3?" - Actually yes, I am forced to call in the BB.....duh!!! I can't help it if everyone checked and I flopped a straight!

How come I never flop a straight with my Q3? :(
 
TheKAAHK

TheKAAHK

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Player 1: "Bill, it's your BB again."
Player 2: "Oh, is it? how much?"
Player 1: "Same as last time, 100."
Player 2: "Ok."

Next orbit:

Player 1: "Bill, you're BB...."
Player 2: "Oh, is it? How much"
Player 1: "Same as last time, 100."
Player 2: "Oh, Ok.:

OR

Player 1: "Oh is it my turn again? What do I have to do?"
Player 2: "Well you're first to act, so you can check, bet, or fold. It's up to you."
Player 1: "Ok, I'll check."
...checked to button, button bets....
Player 1: "Is it my turn again?"
Player 2: "It is."
Player 1: "Ok, what do I do now?"
Player 2: "He bet, so you can either call, raise or fold."
Player 1: "Ok, I'll call."

....and it continues this way on every decision on every hand....

Before you say "Well that's obviously a new player", think again. This is what I hear from one of the regular players (second example) that attends our local tourneys. This player is at every game, every second Saturday. At first I thought she was doing it because she really didn't know how to play, then, after her third win I thought she is just doing it to throw everyone off how good she is and get under our skin. But after months of careful observation, I realize that she is just daft, and really dosn'r comprehend what is going on around her. She can play cards like a pro, but can't understand the game precess. I just want to punch her in the teeth sometimes. lol
 
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always2away

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"I just knew that the cards I needed were going to come."

This is what my wife always says at our friendly local games when she seriously overplays her nothing/nothing hands and catches the winner on the river.

I swear sometimes I think she is a witch.:icon_scra:icon_scra
 
DonkeySmash

DonkeySmash

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LMAO

My favorite is the Flush Masters... I called because it was suited... REALLY! K-3.. U better have called cuz it was suited YA DONK! R U F--kin Kidding me right now... Still LMAO at the guy 2 weeks ago at the casino... Sorry just venting...

Donkey Smash
 
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