Tell me you're bad at poker without telling me you're bad at poker

TeUnit

TeUnit

Legend
Loyaler
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Total posts
5,092
Awards
14
Chips
322
They open limp and they absolutely love open limping with players sitting out.

Another one of my favorites is they high blind limp to micro stacks and then fold - this is usually on the bubble.
 
Balou1982

Balou1982

Visionary
Platinum Level
Joined
Jun 21, 2020
Total posts
638
Awards
2
AT
Chips
955
I have to say, when you play against hundreds of players in a freeroll or big tourney you can´t give anything on this statement - it is like a roulette game all the way and you can play it seriously but this is not the key to victory against many players who seem to be tilt and behave in a wrong way.
 
Suns of Beaches

Suns of Beaches

Ripley rips it in on Replay
Platinum Level
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Total posts
3,609
Awards
1
Chips
940
"Is this real chips or play money?"
"Can you cash out in the internet?"
"Is online poker not rigged"
"What is better, a straight or a flush?"
"Did i play that correctly?"
"Allin!" "Check!" "Fold!" (while out of turn)...
"iiiiiiiiaaaaaaaa iiiiiiiiaaaaaaa" ( and other random donkey noises).

Stuff i heard from new players in private low limit homegames years ago.
 
Last edited:
S

Station_Master

Legend
Platinum Level
Joined
Oct 26, 2022
Total posts
1,417
Awards
1
GB
Chips
440
Joining a cash game table with 56.2bb
 
SpanRmonka

SpanRmonka

Legend
Loyaler
Joined
May 3, 2020
Total posts
2,732
Awards
6
GB
Chips
578
Aww man, if only I hadn't just punted off 3/4 my stack with A9o last hand......now I have KK!
 
najisami

najisami

Legend
Loyaler
Joined
Aug 11, 2014
Total posts
4,744
Awards
8
MA
Chips
1,338
What is something that only new or poor poker players say/do at the table?

Let's start with when they lose a hand to that 1-out terrible river card (we all know that feeling) and then, instead of shrugging it off, they go off on a tilty rant about how poker is rigged or the winner is a horrible player for even being in the hand in the first place.

WZ79ccoEKYhIk.webp

- Playing every hand and only limping.
- Betting the minimum.
- Always stating that they're the unluckiest in the world.
- Blaming the sites and other players for their own failures.
 
rhoudini

rhoudini

Visionary
Platinum Level
Joined
Feb 28, 2023
Total posts
519
Awards
3
BR
Chips
884
Oh, I love to chase draws, specially gutshots!! I sit to play cash games with less than 100 BB and I don't care about that, because I don't play cash games too often! I also don't pay attention to what is happening at my table, because who cares who I am playing against? Cards are cards, and poker is just a card game. When playing a tournament, who cares about ICM? I just play PKOs and try to bust people, isn't that the point? And now I just love this mystery bounty thing!! Another thing that I do is overvalue my hands, specially when I receive a pair of aces after 200 hands without receiving a good hand, I need to go all-in even if someone reraises me in a board like 9♠7♠5♠ and even if I don't have the A♠. Also, I don't care about playing in position. I see my cards, I like them, I play them. And, of course, when I lose, I just blame my bad luck. Some things just happen against me, of course, and I just lose at this game because of my bad luck. Curiously, my bad luck is lasting 5 years, but someday it will go away, I am sure.
 
hobojim1247

hobojim1247

Legend
Platinum Level
Joined
Mar 29, 2022
Total posts
1,796
Awards
2
US
Chips
489
I raise pre flop anytime I have an ace regardless of my 2nd card and my position.
LOL
 
Poker_Mike

Poker_Mike

Legend
Loyaler
Joined
Aug 15, 2017
Total posts
4,967
Awards
2
Chips
487
I have nothing against this PLAYER but when I read the OP on this thread it made me think of this recent exchange in the text box....

I raise preflop and flop a full house. He calls from BB preflop and check down to the river and PLAYER bets OOP and I raise 3/4 pot for nice value and he pays me with his overpair and proceeds to tilt.

Dealer: Showdown: Main pot, 9,504 chips
Dealer: PhatPeter shows [ 6s 6d ]
Dealer: PLAYER mucks
Dealer: PhatPeter wins 9,504 chips with: Full House, Sixes Full of Threes
PLAYER:
why do i ever call yu have no skills
PLAYER: nice hand once again i do to a 2 outer preflop
PhatPeter: no skills but i got ur chips LOL
PhatPeter: thx
PLAYER: flopping a fullhouse is how u won unless u r the dealer also u have no skills
PhatPeter: sir - if i flop a full house then I don't need skills lol
PLAYER: but apparently I am even worse thn u
PhatPeter: now we're getting closer to the truth lol
PLAYER: that is my point exactly
PhatPeter: it's just an unlucky hand for you that's all
PLAYER: my call was terrible because u have no skills
PLAYER: I did not trigger a bluff because u have no skills
PLAYER: that was my point
PhatPeter: oh wait...I'm sorrry
Dealer: ** Hand [ 1121539884 ] started **
PLAYER: no actually i played it terribly
PLAYER: because you have no bluffs
PLAYER: my river bet was a bet fold and like an idiot I called u
 
Last edited:
Sebbour

Sebbour

Visionary
Platinum Level
Joined
Mar 10, 2009
Total posts
975
Awards
8
HR
Chips
740
What is something that only new or poor poker players say/do at the table?

Let's start with when they lose a hand to that 1-out terrible river card (we all know that feeling) and then, instead of shrugging it off, they go off on a tilty rant about how poker is rigged or the winner is a horrible player for even being in the hand in the first place.

WZ79ccoEKYhIk.webp
Two live game anegdotes that I remember from the days I played live.

1. After busting out of a local tournament he said: "But I was again ahead preflop!"

2. One player declared all in and everyone folded to the only other guy that hasn't folded yet and then after a pause with serious face he says: "Raise!"
 
Luvepoker

Luvepoker

Lost in the twilight zone
Community Guide
Joined
Feb 21, 2018
Total posts
5,595
Awards
23
US
Chips
991
Why would you say it was a bad hand to play. OK it was 7 and 2 but they were suited and that gives me 3% more chance of winning the hand.
 
Poker_Mike

Poker_Mike

Legend
Loyaler
Joined
Aug 15, 2017
Total posts
4,967
Awards
2
Chips
487
Personally I love when I am beat in live play and they ask me what my hand was...

And I tell them, "I had the other thing."

And they look totally puzzled and ask, "What other thing?" LOL

It makes me want to get into another hand with them immediately!
 
dreamer13

dreamer13

Legend
Platinum Level
Joined
Mar 18, 2022
Total posts
3,443
Awards
2
LV
Chips
718
You did everything right, but you still lost.Take a break, relax, analyze the hand, remember the essence of poker and the role of luck in it, and don’t start playing if you haven’t returned to normal.
 
perrywh

perrywh

Legend
Loyaler
Joined
Feb 17, 2018
Total posts
2,567
Awards
9
US
Chips
205
Playing any two suited UTG and calling any raise!
 
riff_raff312

riff_raff312

Legend
Loyaler
Joined
Mar 24, 2020
Total posts
9,584
Awards
8
CA
Chips
1,159
What are outs we're not playing baseball here this is cards right!
Two pair beat 3 of a kind , most of the time?
 
Andyreas

Andyreas

Moderator
Moderator
Joined
May 25, 2022
Total posts
11,930
Awards
8
DE
Chips
1,084
I've got another one:
Why didn't I win this hand? I have three pair and he only has two!!!111
 
Reload

Reload

Legend
Platinum Level
Joined
Sep 11, 2015
Total posts
1,065
Awards
9
Chips
174
Everyone knows that I bluff every time, so I'm going to this next time: I'M bluffing ALL THE WAY AGAIN!
 
zorro222_zorro222

zorro222_zorro222

Legend
Platinum Level
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Total posts
3,723
Awards
10
CA
Chips
661
Online
1. They play every hand but only limp
2. They usually tilt very easy

Live
1. The way they cut their chips when betting and the way they remove their chips from the rack when they first sit down.
2. Usually the way they look at their cards and how they sit in their chair.
 
Poker Tells
Top