Spouse upset of you playing poker?

[Loonbat]

I am fortunate to have a wife who (pretty much) learned limit and then NLHE when I did. She is a solid player and has her own BR, has had her own stakers in the past (which she acquired based on her own skill set, not merely because she was my wife) and as a result, poker is peachy in our household.

I am blessed in this respect and poker was only an issue in our household for the reasons of extended road trips for live series and when i was not cashing out as frequently as I had agreed to do.

 

[turtelliusshellius]

The best way to get your wife to agree with your poker play is teach her how to play. Make it something you can do together. When you are playing ask her to watch you and explain to her play by play why do everything you are doing (unless it's fold junk preflop because that'd just be annoying telling her why you are folding crap hands every hand). By including her in the experience you can give her the connection with the game that you have as well as create a connection between the two of you. If she says that she doesn't want to learn then just ask her to sacrifice and give you a week of her time. Most people who don't like the game don't like it because they don't understand it. If she understands it then even if she doesn't want to learn after the first week, she'll be more likely to not be upset about you playing. And if you lose $2000 in a pop, maybe you should give her some of your winnings to go shopping with and she'll see that it IS real money.

 

[ScottieDuncan]

My wife hates it when I play. Just about only play when she can watch some tv show

 

[trekmaster]

When I met my wife I always played video games constantly to the we hours of the morning.The gaming consoles were costly and the games were outragious at 50 and 60 dollars a pop.She even bought some for me so she knows well the cost.When we got the computer I started playing poker and in the beginning she hated it and started to bitch about the time I spent playing until even after having cashes for over 1k and one 4k win.Finally I sat her down one day and asked her if she would like me to go back to the video games witch cost us a ton of money and I spend the same time on them with no return on my time or play poker and at least make some money with the time I invest in something I enjoy greatly.Since that time I hardly hear any thing about my poker anymore.Been playing since 2001 and the past 10 years have been peaceful and she no longer tilts me when I play.

 

[dj11]

Mrs dj does not like that I spend so much time playing poker online, or going and playing live. But since she offers NO other distractions, her complaints fall on mainly deaf ears. Her idea of sport would be competition shopping.

 

[kmichaels]

Honestly i don´t any problem playing poker. It´s a hobby like so many others. If you play it just for fun and not jeopardizing all off yours money it´s ok. You should tell her that it´s better play poker after work than go to a lover house.

 

[dudemanstan]

Do any of you have a spouse who hates when you play poker? If so, how do you handle it? My wife hates when I play. I get off work an hour earlier than her, so that's really the only time I have to play. If I do play while she is home, she just runs her mouth and it tilts me so hard. I just recently lost $2,000 and she was more happy than upset. Even when I withdrawal money, she continues to say it's not real money. Any of you guys deal or had to deal with this? How can I resolve this?

My X-wife hated me playing poker, so I think you can guess how that turned out
Oh sweet,sweet freedom

 

[nl_incognito]

Yea - you really need to make sure you are balancing it with quality time spent with her.

Is there something she loves to do on her own? If so encourage and support that and maybe she will be more understanding.

In a marriage it is important that you each have things you enjoy doing and that you support each other's hobbies. My husband loves golf and I love playing poker - it works for both of us.

However when I was playing tournaments online 6-12 hours a day 4-5 days a week there was not a good balance and he wasn't thrilled. You really do have to make sure that you do things together.

Show her this thread.

I can't think of anything she really likes to do on her own. She prefers to stay in and save her money. She gets home around 5:30 every night and likes to watch all her shows (The Voice, Teen Mom, Survivor and has just started watching 90210 on Netflix). What upsets me is that while she is watching her shows and I try to play online upstairs in the office, she will constantly tell me to come down and play on the couch next to her. Then when I sit next to her, tells me to turn the volume down on my laptop. She is really difficult when it comes to poker and I really want to figure something out so we are both happy.

 

[PlayedYou73]

Most gfs/wives don't enjoy activities that take time away from them.

If they happen to have a past time that sucks up a similar amount of time, it's helpful to remind them of it, and that 'everyone' has activities they like to do, and things they don't like doing, and that people should respect it.

 

[madethegrade]

get a divorce???? no you have to explain to her emotionally why playing poker is important to you.

 

[skrsh76]

nice thread...Lots of great replies... It is a question to yourself. If you imagine 20 years from now and if you will be happy to have spent time and money on poker instead of the wife and kids then go ahead otherwise reassess how you want to be spending your time.

 

[SpookMBluffwell]

Ive seen breakups and divorces not just because of poker, but internet use in general. It's the time spent online that can make or break a relationship!

 

[Debi]

I can't think of anything she really likes to do on her own. She prefers to stay in and save her money. She gets home around 5:30 every night and likes to watch all her shows (The Voice, Teen Mom, Survivor and has just started watching 90210 on Netflix). What upsets me is that while she is watching her shows and I try to play online upstairs in the office, she will constantly tell me to come down and play on the couch next to her. Then when I sit next to her, tells me to turn the volume down on my laptop. She is really difficult when it comes to poker and I really want to figure something out so we are both happy.

Can you have a talk with her and work out some nights that are for poker? Then on the other nights watch some TV shows with her since that seems to be something she wants you guys to do together?

Figure out which of the shows that she loves that you could at least semi-enjoy with her and when you watch those shows don't play poker. Decide which nights are the best for poker - maybe that will coincide with some of the shows you just can't stand to watch at all lol.

Wouldn't it be better to be able to play poker a few nights a week with no complaining than to try to play most nights and get grief about it every time?

 

[detourglr]

See I was lucky.. when I got into poker. I asked my wife if she wanted to play too. So she is ok with me playing poker especially when I am a winning player. Nothing big though but do have a profit at it. But then she thinks she can do it if I can do it but not with the same results.

 

[OzRamos]

My girlfriend's the one who got me back into poker. We got into an argument one day and she called me Dominic, and I was like who the hell is Dominic and she goes "The Donkey" ._.

 

[blakewyte]

I didn't pick up poker till a year back. My friends always wanted me to play but I flatly refused. Then my boyfriend picked it up and took a keen interest in it.

I used to get upset when my boyfriend went off to play poker. Thought he was always spending more time with the boys than with me. We got into several huge arguments as a result.

But eventually I realized that poker is his passion and interest, a way to let off steam from work. Plus, he can be pretty good at it. I picked it up soon after, accompany him to some games (sometimes I play, other times I'm busy reading my book) or when we're home, I'll be playing on the PS3 and he'll be beside me on PS.

The ladies I know who play poker often pick it up because of their significant others. It's another form of quality time

I just try to make sure I don't get into a pot with him since I know his playing style.

 

[Raving Lunatic]

I have always thought of playing poker more as a hobby. I love playing No limit hold em. I love the thrill I get from going all in and winning the pot. My wife sees me getting excited and she gets excited.

Playing poker is something that I can just sit back and relax and play forget and the bad crap that is going on in the world and just let the game wash over me.

 

[Math5oo1]

Get her a laptop and register her to play poker as well.
That's what I did and she not only likes it but understands it. It's also great watching her get upset and frustrated. lol.

 

[Math5oo1]

I can't think of anything she really likes to do on her own. She prefers to stay in and save her money. She gets home around 5:30 every night and likes to watch all her shows (The Voice, Teen Mom, Survivor and has just started watching 90210 on Netflix). What upsets me is that while she is watching her shows and I try to play online upstairs in the office, she will constantly tell me to come down and play on the couch next to her. Then when I sit next to her, tells me to turn the volume down on my laptop. She is really difficult when it comes to poker and I really want to figure something out so we are both happy.

Get a headset and sit next to her, Have an interest in her show between hands your playing, Make her a cuppa now and then, ask her how her day when between hands etc.

May seem small to you but mean a lot to her. Women hate it when their ignored or left alone when your both home together.

Think about it, you wouldn't like it if you arrived home to find her ignoring you when you have something to say or want her to be/do with you because she had a hobby/passion you didn't understand or like. Works both way s m8. Compromises works wonders in a relationship.

 

[redcross]

Use you winnings to go on a spa retreat weekend or week away in Hawaii, with friends or family. Then you have all week to play unbothered pure take your time poker. Or just do what I do and forget sleep for a night then catch up the next. Sucks but until I retire I don't know what else to do.

This is funny cause I was watching a long time ago a special on Annie duke. It was funny because her husband would drop her off at casinos for tourneys and he would go to work.

 

[arahel_jazz]

I can't think of anything she really likes to do on her own. She prefers to stay in and save her money. She gets home around 5:30 every night and likes to watch all her shows (The Voice, Teen Mom, Survivor and has just started watching 90210 on Netflix). What upsets me is that while she is watching her shows and I try to play online upstairs in the office, she will constantly tell me to come down and play on the couch next to her. Then when I sit next to her, tells me to turn the volume down on my laptop. She is really difficult when it comes to poker and I really want to figure something out so we are both happy.

You don't need the sound on the computer to play poker. If you have to hear the beep +1 on the headset - just put one ear on so you can continue to talk to her.

 

[jazzaxe]

I try to play more cash games and less time playing tourneys. She can't stand me at the computer for more than an hour or two.

 

[Bowman26]

Just tell her if she would learn to play you could both sit down at a 6 handed table and mop up with the collusion you could do lolol. JUST KIDDING!!

Poker is like anything else to much can be a bad thing. Women however are pretty much often impossible to fully please. If you are lucky you have one that likes to do her own thing as well and doesn't feel the need to be together all hours of every day.

Mine was cool with it back when I played more years ago. She was really cool with it when the $50 deposit on party poker paid for her to spend a week sipping fruity drinks on a private island in the Bahama's. Or the time she forgot to pay some tax bill and I pulled $800 out of my BR to cover it. All from that same $50 deposit!

Women... Win and they love you... Lose and you are done for... Don't believe me? Just look at all the butt ugly men out there that have money and sexy young wives. Think a single one of those women would still "love" their man if he was just some regular guy walking around Wal-Mart? Hardly!

Don't trash me ladies I know you aren't all that way.... Just a very large % of you.

 

[PredragV]

My girlfriend doesn't like when I play poker, but sometimes she plays a hand instead of me. And if she knew the rules she would be a better player because she is very lucky

 

[NvrBlufn]

all women hate to see you enjoying yourself.it doesn't matter what it is even if its just taking a nap.it foils all the time that they have been sucking the life out of you

oh snap! :top:

Honestly, I think my girlfriend hates it. She doesn't appreciate gambling at all (besides when she wastes her own money on scratchers tickets) and then she gets really flustered when nothing comes of it.

Lately my string of bubble finishes and lackluster (break-even or worse) results have her shaking her head even more I am sure.

She wants to hear that I am winning because to her that is the only way to justify it. Trouble brewing!

Must be nice to have the gf who supports whatever it is you are doing without criticism, even if its poker, video games, or in business and in life....