I have never played "live" and I'm still pretty much a novice online female poker player. I tend to use neutral, like the dog on FTP, or male avatars. Sometimes I use the old lady one because that is probably the closest to me. I have my dog as my avatar when we can select our own.
When people address me they usually refer to me as "he" or "him". I will correct them and say I'm a she, not a he. Many have been surprised and once in awhile I will get a comment that I don't play like a girl. I would like to know, what does a girl play like?
I think women have a better temperament for poker. I think men go on tilt way too easy where a women keeps more of a level head.
I guy can be so predictable when on tilt. So many guys will go all in right after a bad beat. I can sit at the computer and right before their turn I will say - All In. Sure enough, they go all in. Interesting, that I will usually fold then next hand or two after a bad beat unless they are really monster
hands.
I think there are some really great women poker players and there are some not so good women poker players. Some men as well as women are not that serious about the game while others, both men and women take the game very serious.
In general I would say women are a little less aggressive, more chatty (like to talk in chat), but more even tempered. I don't think women are any better or worse at poker than men. It all depends on the individual.