I lost my entire bankroll going on tilt at higher limits. I feel like dying right now

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dogs1

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I play on pokerstars and had made a deposit of $300 four days ago. I had been doing really well at the lower limits like the $1 limit tables and had stacked my bank roll to around $1300. I was so excited that I made so much. I told my mom how much I made and she went around telling everyone that
"my sons a poker genius" and he's made a lot so far. I dont have a job and it took at LONG time to save up $300.

When I hit the $1300 mark, I took a break and went to sleep. The next day I continued playing but something changed, almost like i've been cursed. I start taking a lot of bad beats on the river or they would give me pocket kings and they gave someone elsepocket aces. My bank roll was at $1083 now. I took a break for a few hours and was just trying to find out why I all of a sudden started to lose so many times on the river. I kept telling myself " I'm going to build it up to $1500 THEN CASHHOUT and play with whatevers left" since my family desperately needs money to buy food, pay for bills and christmas presents.

So before I went back in the room to play, my mom walks in and says "so how much have you won?" I didn't want to say anything, so I made up something and said the internet was down the whole day. She was pretty pissed saying "they need to get it back up because it's keeping you from making money" I told her it would be back up some time soon.

I went back in the room to play and I was doing a little better. I made about $40 in an hour, BUT THE SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN. I started taking horrible beats the cards went dead cold. Now my bank roll hit about $900. I was frusturated because nothing was working so I went up to the 30/$60 limits to try to win the money I had lost back. I played tight for about 5 minutes and my bank roll was at $860. I waited for a good hand and I finally got it. They gave me Ac Ah in the big blind. Some one raised while another one re raised, I didn't want to make anything noticeable so I just called. There were 3 players in that hand with the pot at about $300. The flop comes 6h Qc Ad. I was so happy to see a flop like that with a perfect hand. I check then the 2nd person checks and the third "bets". All i'm thinking about at this point is how can I get as much money as I can out of these people. So as the third player bet, the 4th calls and I quickly raise, the second pauses and folds, and the third pauses and calls and so does the 4th person. Theres about 450 in the pot and the turn is 8s. So now that there is no chance of a flush or striaght draw and I pause and bet, then the 3rd player immediatley raises and the 4th player pauses for a second and RE reraises. I know for sure I have the best hand and I go ahead and re re re raise capping the betting. The pot is about $820 As soon as everyone called The river card is a Qs. i'm thinking to myself this is perfect because I can check thinking that one of the other players hit trip queens but I already have the full house. So I check and the 3rd person bets then the 4th person calls and I immediatley raise. the 3rd person pauses for about 5 seconds and Re raises. The 4th player folds and I RE re raise. The 3rd player pauses again and caps the betting limit. Now I know he has something like AQ or some other full house. So I call and I SWEAR TO GOD THE WORST FEELING I HAVE EVER FELT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, HE HAD QUAD QUEENS. Are you ****ing kidding me??? I lost a $1268 pot because the game is rigged. Then the pesron who won said

"I see you had pocket aces.... That sucks for you."

I ended up losing the remaining stack going all in with nothing. It happened about 2 hours ago until I found this site. It REALLY HURTS and I feel like commiting suicide because my family has like no money and we dont hardly eat anything decent and my mom has been going on and on about she needs the rent of $900 and she's been bugging me about it. She's at work right now, but when she gets home, what should I tell her? That I lost all the money I had? I really feel like killing myself right now. Now we probably wont even be able to have a christmas because i blew all ****ing money I had playing on limits donald trump can only afford to play. What should I tell her?
 
KingCurtis

KingCurtis

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well honestly all i can say is...sorry that you had suh bad luck........but if you read other threads about BR managment....you should have just waited it out play smart and build up your BR the same way you turned your 300 into 1300 wether your losing or not stay consitent dont lose hope and def. do not try and go to higher limits
 
wickedlovely

wickedlovely

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know that emotionally you are in a lot of pain right now.

Please don't try to harm yourself. As bad as this hurts, know that you can get past this. Be honest with your mom. Then concentrate on learning bankroll management--lots of articles and posts here can help you with that.

hang in there and good luck
 
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mwciowa

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I really feel bad for you. There are way too many times that this happens on online poker, way more so than cash games. I will not get into the debate of rigged/not rigged, but will say that with evidence of wrong doing and cheating at different online poker sites that people's concerns of something being "wrong" or flawed seems warranted. Hang in there and this too will pass.
 
Semicolonkid

Semicolonkid

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I'm truly sorry to hear this predicament. DO NOT kill yourself, that will make your mom feel worse. Just explain the horrid bad beat you had, because even though You broke the rule of bankroll management, got a little too overconfident, expected to win, didn't stay emotionally stable after a bad run, but now you KNOW to do BETTER next time...if you learn from these mistakes and never make them again, the problems in your family could be fixed over time, with smart play.

Study the life of a poker player, explain it to your mother...that's how things are sometimes, but several years down the line you could do much better. Just remember that.
Good luck!
 
str3tch nuts

str3tch nuts

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i read a good piece by Chris Furgeson (Jesus) at Full Tilt on bankroll management and not entering tourneys above a certain percentage of your total bankroll. Maybe that might help give you a little direction. I have to admit i do find it tough not to get mad and get into higher limit tables to try and get even when i have a bad run of luck. So far i've been lucky enough not to go completely broke doing so.
 
Dorkus Malorkus

Dorkus Malorkus

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hi dogs1/screwball/lots11/lots12!

you do know we can check pretty easily for multiple accounts, right?

i find this topic quite interesting seeing as OP made a thread a couple of days ago which somewhat conflicts with this thread on another username of his right here.
 
Irexes

Irexes

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Feel free to abuse the scammer.


No swearing, threats of violence or comments about his tiny manhood.
 
pantin007

pantin007

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if it really happen i am sorry for u and i hope u dont kill yourself
but im not trying to be disrespectful or anything but ur story has a lot of inconsistencies. first of all u said there were 3 ppl playing the pot then after the flop it was 4 ppl
secondly if u were playing 1$ bb limit holdem i would think it would take longer that 4 days to make 1K profit but i can be wrong
plus if the betting is capped with 2 players the pot would have been larger than 1268${since it was 820 on the turn} {also u have it capped at 5 raises when stars is capped at 4}
ok if the story is true u had no right playing at that hi staked game
if ur family need the money u should not put poker infront of ur family
i understand u like to play but i know u are smarter than playing with ur life on the line
plz dont kill urself
 
Semicolonkid

Semicolonkid

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hi dogs1/screwball/lots11/lots12!

you do know we can check pretty easily for multiple accounts, right?

i find this topic quite interesting seeing as OP made a thread a couple of days ago which somewhat conflicts with this thread on another username of his right here.


.....what is this? Does this mean this story in this thread is not true?
In case it is, the advice I gave above was from the heart. If it isn't...wtf?:confused:
 
pantin007

pantin007

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this story cant be true there are to much inconsistencies
 
Dorkus Malorkus

Dorkus Malorkus

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i'm not really sure of OP's motivation here - i don't quite know how he would have pulled a scam from this and if it's trolling then it's pretty bad trolling.

anyway, given OP's history there's a chance somewhere in the "fraction of one percent" realms of probability that the story in the OP is true. i'm comfortable with those odds.

locking this now, feel free to PM me with any questions/concerns.
 
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