How many anecdotes about poker do you know?

luckyfish98

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How many anecdotes about poker do you know?

I wanted to bluff in a good poker tournament, when I started bluffing seriously everyone was scared of me, I bluffed for so long I ran out of chips

I've been playing poker for so long that I didn't notice that 20 years passed, I wanted to lose everything I had won, but I was so successful that I couldn't stop
It took 20 years to play and lose 1 cent

I really wanted to find a poker link where I can lose money, but unfortunately all of them only offer to win

not to play or to play not to play or to play
I thought for too long until I forgot how to play poker
 
Gallarado777

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I don't know jokes about poker I just love poker and try to play and improve every day. I hope it will only make me stronger and someday I'll win a lot of money and say I finally did it and it will be the funniest joke for those who didn't believe in it from the very beginning
 
luckyfish98

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Three poker fish meet, one fish tells - if you know, I can beat all the professionals
the other fish says-but I can always win in all all-in situations with any cards
the third fish laughs and says - but you didn't know that I can see the cards of any player, because I have such software and when you two fish have won enough, then I will get that money in my account !

For one person to win, it takes 10 people to lose
To find 10 people who lose, you need to find one successful person who knows how to win
This means that one person will have to run away from ten others in order to survive
 
focus13

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My best poker joke - when I got royal flash, but its just a freeroll😄🫣
 

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luckyfish98

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two losers meet, one says I have no more money, but I know if I play again, I will always win
the other says well, but I always lose on purpose, so that now my happy days may begin

Which is the safest bank to deposit money in?-it is possible that my poker account promises the highest profit percentages there !

Children at school are asked - Does anyone want to learn the game of poker?

Seven-year-old Kristians sadly states - I'm already tired of the game, because I've been playing with my dad's account for 3 years in kindergarten

A beginner goes to a poker coach to learn the game of poker
-Could you teach me poker very well?
the coach answers
-winning is the same as losing, because if you know how to lose, then you already play poker well
 
luckyfish98

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an unlucky poker player comes to God and asks to turn back time
-why - asks God
-I've been wrong so many times, so I want to do things differently-
After a year, the unfortunate player comes to God again
-However, there was no need to turn back time, because now it is even worse than it was that time
 
hamon08

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I know it too, but it's more of a saying than an anecdote. "If you play poker for half an hour and don't see who is a fish at the table, then you are a fish."😄
 
dreamer13

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School. Primary classes.Teacher: - Irochka, what does your dad do?My dad is a fisherman!Just kind of weird. unhappy.Why is this strange?simple smile And: - Well, he sits at home in front of the computer all the time, and tells his mother that the fish feed us!
 
luckyfish98

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two poker players meet
-if I have thought that I will lose today, then everything works out according to plan
=but other days when I want to win, something doesn't happen
 
luckyfish98

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Kaspar-why are you so sad ?
Igor-I won a million yesterday!
Kaspar-then you should be happy!
Igor-but it happened in a dream when i was sleeping!
 
Achrarock

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I know a wide range of poker tales from legendary bluffs to unforgettable tournament moments.
 
Pokerpoet2

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If You cannot Spot the Fish 5 minutes after sitting down at a table Then perhaps you are the Fish.

You can learn how to play Poker in 5 minutes, But it takes a lifetime to Master. Doyle Brunson Said "I'm still learning."
 
luckyfish98

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the wife asks her husband why he is so nervous
-because I have been able to predict my next day for 30 years,I know that tomorrow I will lose my poker game again
 
luckyfish98

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a competition is announced for the position of the best poker player in the world.
-a fish comes and asks if he can participate.
the organizer asked
-only if you can prove that you are a fish.
the fish answers.
-first catch all the fish in any poker game then you can stop me.
 
luckyfish98

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a donkey, a sheep and a cow meet to find out who is the dumbest in the poker game
donkey, -I always fold when I have pocket AA
sheep-I always register for the tournament, but I don't play because I'm afraid I'll lose
cow-
I always play for play money, I just don't understand why I can't withdraw that money and transfer it to a real money account
 

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R.Melnyk77

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I guess I don't know any poker jokes. I thought about it and it turns out I don't have much to say, but I have a favorite quote and I think it's pretty funny.
"If you’re playing a poker game and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is, it’s you"
Paul Newman
 
luckyfish98

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Karl - I see how much money the professionals win in the poker game, I would like that too
Suzanne - but that's because you only look at the lucky ones
 
luckyfish98

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Peter observes that his friend is playing a game of poker on the Internet
-Why do you go all in with such crap 27 - asked Peteris
-Because they haven't given me anything better for two weeks - answers the friend
 
TulasMoreno

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I have a friend that qualified by a freeroll to a live tournament LAPT and he finished second winning 217k usd, that was in 2009, the latin moneymaker lol.
 
luckyfish98

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What will you do with your salary? - asks a friend to his work colleague
I'll go play poker and double up,- says the colleague
And what will you do after that?- asks a friend
I'm going to earn money again so I can play poker - laughs a colleague
 
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