The Funny Things Bad Players Say

[PLAYINBIG]

A beat like that is frustrating.Even worse when ya man up and tell the other player NH (when you know it wasn't).Thenthey look @ you & act like they didn't even here you.A woman done that to me @ the local casino I play @.I never spoke another word to her the rest of the night.Just played cards.

 

[Aleksei]

^If you learn to ignore the result, you won't really be affected by this. I mean, just think about it this way: He got lucky, so he's gonna come back for more. And more and more and more, until you end up with all his money. Then lol @ him inside.

Why do you think casinos design house games with a house EV of like .01 or whatever? So people win a ton and think they can actually beat the game, over and over, until they lose everything.

As for nh: technically speaking a poker hand is five cards rather than 2, so a 2-pair from 95o is actually a nice hand. I can compliment donks on suckouts and not feel the least bit bad about it, because I'm not complimenting them, I'm complimenting the hand they randomly drew. So, I'm mocking them and they think I'm validating them. Win-win for me.

 

[Mr Sandbag]

One of my favs is from The Poker Tournament Formula.

Everyone folds to the button, button raises. Small blind folds, big blind goes all in. Button snap calls and turns over 88. Big blind turns over KK, to which the button responds "I put you on kings."

 

[NvrBlufn]

Final Five of a tournament in someone's home...

UTG checks his cards and seems distressed. Makes a grumpy face, then massages his cheek before limping for 800.
Folds to me on the button, I raise whatever my holdings (call it 85o) to 2900. Blinds fold, UTG looks over and says:

"WELL HELL I COULD'VE JUST SAVED MY 800 THEN!!"

*mucks* *scoop* & thank you very much sir...

 

[Debi]

Live poker.

bad player: "I don't play pot odds - I play card odds. I just folded KQ utg because neither of those cards have been hitting the flop tonight."

Now - I have folded KQ utg plenty of times - but not for that reason lololol. He was proud of that tough fold.

He plays on Zynga too.

 

[Mr Sandbag]

Live poker.

bad player: "I don't play pot odds - I play card odds. I just folded KQ utg because neither of those cards have been hitting the flop tonight."

Now - I have folded KQ utg plenty of times - but not for that reason lololol. He was proud of that tough fold.

He plays on Zynga too.

Sounds like an avid Keno player.

 

[PokerFishin]

In my circle of poker friends we call people like Carl, "window lickers". We've come to love them because they have a tendency to pad our stacks and bankrolls!

 

[IClickButtons]

Played live last week when I was out of town. Board paired on the river, villian folded to my bet. I showed quads, guy sitting next to me said, "THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I PUT YOU ON!!!!"

 

[vinylspiros]

a friend of mine( who i think is an amateur and a very bad player), took down a small sized tourney the other night on 888 with a 25 dollar buy in . Field was like 245 people ,so basically it was like a sng only that it was a tourney. i think he won a little over a k. maybe 1.3 or so.

I asked him wow; how did you manage to do that? did you play good? He said no, i won because the machine had taken a lot of my money previously when playing roulette and now the machine doesn't want me to quit playing on their site and gave me back some money to get me addicted.

I think a simple slap in the face is the best answer to a comment like that.

 

[zEric7x]

This was at a live table. I once had 2 diamond and heart hole cards and I thought I hit a flush when I didn't. That made me feel pretty bad at the point. Everybody at the table just told me it happens but I really bet they thought I didn't know what I was doing .

 

[dresturn2]

Thats how I roll!!!! You busters sit and wait and think you good but I create pots and scoop 'em......ship it!!!!!! (pulls you to side an hour later) "Hey I just got 2 outed over there real sick. Think you can loan me a buy in until my girl get here".....lol

 

[Speedexas]

Happened like 8 months ago . I was playing 6max and some russian came and sit to my right .I once wanted to steal his blind , but he 3bet me and wrote in chat "Dont touch my blind" . After an orbit i was in SB again and i tried to steal his blind again , he 3bets me again and writes "If you try to steal my blind again im gonna find you and **** you. I was laughing for like 5 mins.

 

[vinnie]

This was at a live table. I once had 2 diamond and heart hole cards and I thought I hit a flush when I didn't. That made me feel pretty bad at the point. Everybody at the table just told me it happens but I really bet they thought I didn't know what I was doing .

Don't worry. It does happen. Maybe not to "everybody," [LOL] but it does happen. I have seen it once.

I have also seen two different players mistake A4 for AA in live games.

 

[dgiharris]

I open raised JJ at 1/2 playing live. A guy with about $140 stack says "Alright, take my money I need to get out of here. It folds back to me and i'm sitting there thinking he's angling me so I'm debating a fold. I'm too much of a donk so i end up calling and he flips over 74o and i hold. He then says gg and casually gets up from the table and leaves. I was dumbfounded as to why he didn't just cash out his chips.

yeah, gotta love live poker.

Here is my favorite

V1 is super aggro spewtard hot young kid who has been bluffing 4 to 5 hands EVERY ORBIT and then after the bluff showing his hands so the table could see just how awesome he is.

V2 is typical older rec-fish ABC player.

Game is 2/5nl eff stacks $500, kid spew covers

Kid raises UTG to $65, Mr. ABC calls, heads up.

Flop(130)
Kid bets 75, Mr. ABC calls

turn(280)
Kid shoves all-in. Mr. ABC slams his fist on the table and says, "I know I got the best hand" and shows us and then after a minute he says, "I"m gonna wait for a better spot" and he folds

Kid then immediately turns over and Mr. ABC is congratulating himself saying "yeah, I knew I had you beat, I knew you didn't have anything" and he is a strange mix of happy and mad.

on the flip side I see this hand every day. 2/5nl eff stacks $500

V1 standard TAG
V2 standard rec-fish

V1 raises to $25, V2 calls, heads up

Flop(50)
V1 bets $35, V2 calls says "what do you got, AK?"

Turn(120)
V1 bets $75, V2 calls and says, "AK huh?"

River(370)
V1 bets $200, V2 says, "I know you got AK, nice hand, I call"

V1 shows AQ
V2 shows A7 and then says, "yeah, I knew it, AK, AQ, I knew that's what you had..."

man this never gets old. Gotta love live poker...

 

[Aleksei]

Kid shoves all-in. Mr. ABC slams his fist on the table and says, "I know I got the best hand" and shows us and then after a minute he says, "I"m gonna wait for a better spot" and he folds

LOL! ****ing nit.

 

[naruto_miu]

Funny thing (well not funny happened to me, but found it odd), I was at a live casino in Hull Quebec, and I went out for a smoke break, and I told the dealer I'll be gone for about 30 minutes, so anyways I'm out, and after 30 minutes I came back, and there was an Italian dude at my seat, and I went over and was like sir, I was here, there's nothing rude about that right? Guy looks back and just shrugs my comment off, and than I'm looking at the dealer to say something, and he finally does after 10 minutes of me waiting right. Now I'm thinking this ass hole is gonna get up and leave, so he doesn't and I'm getting tired of waiting on him, so I reach over and just patted his Shoulder, than this dude replied to me "If you touch me again, kiss your hand good bye"...I laughed out of shock, like did he really say that, but the dealer had caught him, and he got forcibly removed from the table, lol

 

[Beanfacekilla]

I never ever will make fun of poor play or someone making obvious mistakes that just seem rediculous to me.. These are the people that make my stack grow the last thing i want is to embarrass them or make them think twice next time they want to make a crazy move.. Anything they say i smile and go along with it..
I never understand people that try to teach opponents better plays at the table lol

I agree 100%

People frequently assume the role of "poker coach" on the tables. They tell everyone why they did what they did. They criticize other players for making bad plays, and tell them what they should have done.

I just want to say " shut up dude". But I just listen to the headphones, and mind my business.

a friend of mine( who i think is an amateur and a very bad player), took down a small sized tourney the other night on 888 with a 25 dollar buy in . Field was like 245 people ,so basically it was like a sng only that it was a tourney. i think he won a little over a k. maybe 1.3 or so.

I asked him wow; how did you manage to do that? did you play good? He said no, i won because the machine had taken a lot of my money previously when playing roulette and now the machine doesn't want me to quit playing on their site and gave me back some money to get me addicted.

I think a simple slap in the face is the best answer to a comment like that.

LOL that is too funny.

 

[nax]

This was at a live table. I once had 2 diamond and heart hole cards and I thought I hit a flush when I didn't. That made me feel pretty bad at the point. Everybody at the table just told me it happens but I really bet they thought I didn't know what I was doing .

Yeah, this kind of things happen. Once I mucked a straight, because I thought I have only 4 consecutive cards, I was distracted I guess!

 

[thesoxwin]

This was at a live table. I once had 2 diamond and heart hole cards and I thought I hit a flush when I didn't. That made me feel pretty bad at the point. Everybody at the table just told me it happens but I really bet they thought I didn't know what I was doing .

Happens to the best of 'em...

 

[triplesyxx]

This was at a live table. I once had 2 diamond and heart hole cards and I thought I hit a flush when I didn't. That made me feel pretty bad at the point. Everybody at the table just told me it happens but I really bet they thought I didn't know what I was doing .

Never thought about making myself look dumb at a live table to fool villains, I like it


Sent from my iphone using Tapatalk

 

[Paragon]

Ok no joke that is REALLY funny. He doesn't even know the odds.

 

[zEric7x]

Never thought about making myself look dumb at a live table to fool villains, I like it


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I forgot to say what I said.
"I guess I made one of those 4 card flushes"

 

[dead homie]

in a sng last night, blinds are still low, im in bb, villian raises pre f with kq i go all in with ak he calls i win the hand.

he calls me an idiot for shoving with ak, i say your the idiot for calling. he said your the one who shoved so your the idiot. then he goes on about how bad of a play i made, but he doesnt think calling with kq is a bad play. cracked me up.

 

[BluffMeAllIn]

This is certainly a funny topic for sure, liking all the comments.
In regards to the pot odds going by card odds instead, back home I've heard a lot of "Pot Odds, What odds" before calls from both good and bad players (sometimes people just like to gamble).
Also is the infamous, I know I am behind but.... followed by a call. Again hoping to get lucky, or catch in a flip situation.
Gotta love the famous and familier lines for sure that you will here before a call or fold sometimes.

 

[dgiharris]

Was playing the other day and this ridiculous hand happened.

Game is 2/5nl, eff stacks are $800, I cover.

I have QQ and raise $25 from UTG, two callers, super ABC rec-fish tanks and gives me the poker stare and then raises to $175, folds to me, I fold, other players fold and then rec-fish shows the table AA and says, "Yeah, I hate getting my aces cracked..."

Fast forward two orbits, now he is UTG and I am in Late position. He raises $45 (his range is 100% JJ-AA only), and I pick up AA and flat knowing that as long as he has an overpair he will overbet post flop if he retains initiative, we are heads up. Eff stacks $900 ish I cover...

flop($90)
He bets $125, I call. V mutters about me being on a flush draw.

Turn($340)
V bets $400, I raise to $750 putting him all in, he insta calls

River($1600+)
V shows QQ
I win with AA

As I'm racking up his chips, he's calling me a donk and lecturing me on how stupid I am for "slowplaying" and that I should have raised him out of the pot preflop so that I don't get sucked out on...

He didn't see the irony that we basically had the exact same situation but I'm stacking his chips instead of vice versa.

God bless live poker