Thanks everyone for your good wishes Now I saw them
As for the game ......A disappointment , a great disappointment .
In the end I got crazy , burn the money , burn it all !!!:bird:.
I was playing very well , till the moment I started seeing the ladering in the prizes , the players eliminating , laughing with some players eliminated by me as if it was personal , I was behaving like a complete stupid as if it was personal or it was homegame play money zynga game and not for
real money , thousands of money . Stupid . (The reason I was laughing is because of some
hands I saw untilt that moment , 7Q , 7sh** , any sh** hand , to bluff , some hands that saw how badly some want to bust you that they are willing to play ATC , as the MF that played later 710s against me ) . I was distracted , I didn;t call with 44s with 2 other players mini bet on the BB with more than 50bbs stack , I could take the shots on the turn/river , 4 appeared on the river I would have taken a great stack , chip leader maybe , or else no hurt , if the 4 wouldn't have appeared on the river , 5 blinds extracted from the 60 blinds is no hurt , shit , that hand hand started tilting me . I was feeling I was not playing good suddenly , very tight for the blind level thet I was , the stack size I had , the opponents , the chance to win . I also opened an $11 sat for the $5M game , and the CC freeroll , stupid decisions , my focus was divided , I am not good so I have to be 100% focused if a game is crucial and these extra games damaged me . Someone limped , I called two times for a stupid straight draw , me on the BB , I lost some blinds , he had 710s the MF , on this stage this is a stupid mstake , at least I should have lead the bet by betting first one bet one bb , if he raised fold , if on the turn I missed my straight also fold so no problem , I played like an idiot . I still got more than 20 blinds , but this hand damaged my fragiled psychology , I went on tilt , I wanted so bad my blinds back , I was seeing that I started getting bad hands suddenly . Then sb raised , me on the SB again for bingo reasons I called with K10s , nothing on board , 2 blinds more to waste , I had less than 20 blinds , that was stupid mistake , more tilted now I even went all in with 22s on SB hoping that the 1,5 bb guy that already had shoved had a draw hand , and the BB if he callled , he would also had a draw hand or he would pay the difference , BB didn't called the guy who shoved first had JJ , set on the board , I saved him lol , he doubled again next hand lol , happy birthday to him lol . Then I lost control completely , the little voice that was telling that the lader up by 300$ was very close was being drown , I wanted my blinds back , I knew Qxs 10bb shove is pure shit , but I couldn't stop , I was praying to get the blinds , he called goodbye tourney .
Man , I have no psychology to play big tourneys , I get crasy , I sell out my luck , my edge , everything . These last 40 minutes was pure burn of money , the characteristic best example of burning money and stupid poker gameplay , also complete self-destruction mode , this last happens to me in many csino sessions recently as well , that's why recently I stopped playing casino , at least for 3 months Anyway , I unregistered from one $11 sat for the $5M , maybe from one more tomorrow , I will think about it tomorrow , after tonight I should unregister from all , my tonight performance was disguisting , I have to regroup .
EDIT:On the $11 sat for the $5M last hand : I knew A5 OOP 7.5 bb was also shit , but on tilt I shoved , QQ after me called , he won , so I opened this sh** sat table for nothing , f*** , now I more furious ....
I have to think a lot of things , withdraw from PS and ACR , play only
freerolls and tickets , study a lot , build psychology and calmness , not thinking or feeling anything during a session of game , only the game itself and playing with the knowledge I have until that moment , taking risks out of my knowledge within the limits that my stack of blinds and the level of the tourney permit . Fu** , big F***....
EDIT: Also see the laddering only if it'sfor an all in/shove , if it's to delay with my time bank so as to get the next prize if I lose or if I am extremely very short stacked and I have to take some time so as one two players to eliminate to get to the next prize ifit's to shove next or after 2-3 hands , that's a strategy within the understanding of everyone , but watching all the time the ladering is stupid and meaningless , at least for low places , under top 18 or tpp 45 or sth like this . Now I believe this . It makes me anxious thinking about it all the time , I start playing more tight , and I do not realise that I do it on real time
,