Let me tell you about myself
Some of the things you describe are problems I went through and still go through. It sounds like you like to get ahead of your bankroll, and it's real tempting to do because, like you said, who gets excited about an 8 cent win? One poster suggested normal bankroll parameters don't apply because if you bust out, you just re-deposit. That may be true IF you have the money to re-deposit regularly, or if as a US player you've found a reliable means. But I take it money is pretty tight for you, so your bankroll IS your bankroll.
I also think I'm not a bad player, but what the Hell do I know? I've had a couple instances where I've taken an online deposit from $50 to over a thousand. I've withdrawn a couple times, but often I fritter it away. Once I lost $900 on
bodog to a password hacker. That really sucked.
In live play, my biggest win was a casino tourney for $1300. Cash games at the casino are a little too high for my blood, usually $1/$2 NL at the least. I've only played those 5 or 6 times, but so far I've won every time. Because I'm playing scared money, I play very few hands. When I do play a hand, I always come in with a raise. Over a 5 hour session, I might win $200, and it's nearly always on one or two big hands.
My online game is different, and probably worse. I play too many hands and try to get people to fold who just don't know how to fold. I usually play .10/.25 NL, but I actually do a little better at .25/.50 or even .50/1 because I'm a little scared and therefore tighter. My last session on Bodog was a $70 win at .25/.50 over two hours. I saw 21% flops at a 9-handed table, maybe a little high, but just right for me.
I read a lot. I study hand histories. I own PokerTracker but just haven't put in the effort to understand it. Sometime I think I know what I'm doing and will post something on this forum, only to get blasted out of the water. That's why I asked you how do you know if you're a good player? I think it's all relative. We could all be better. I look at IREXES current thread about winning MTTs and it's clear that he devotes much more time and intellect to poker than I realized was possible. Will I ever be at that level? Do I want to?
I enjoy th Cardschat tourneys, especially the buy-in ones. I've won a couple and moneyed a couple more times that last two months. I thought maybe it's because I'm a decent player, but to use Rexe's phrase, perhaps I'm just treading at the far end of the bell curve?
Your pattern of winning then losing is very familiar. You attribute it to going up in stakes, which may be true. In my case, a good session is almost always followed by a series of bad ones. I think it's because winning makes me feel like "this is easy," and I lose my focus and discipline. One of Caro's principals is to ALWAYS play your best. Sounds straight-forward, but it's surprising how difficult that is.
How often do you play on Carbon? That and Bodog are my most frequent sites. I'd like to sit down with you at a table sometime. Maybe we could give each other some feedback.
Good book is "Why You Lose at Poker."
May I please ask you a tile question? I put slate on cement board behind my wood stove. Winter came and I didn't have time to seal or grout it. In the Spring, tiles started falling off. I noticed the backs of the slate tiles were really slick and th mortar didn't adhere well. Good adherence to the cement board - was a tough job chipping the old mortar out. Before putting the slate back up, I used the wet saw to gouge the back surface. Any tips?
Thanks,
Gary