Thinking about stopping

[Canwai]

Hello, members of the cardschat community.
I come through this post to share a feeling I've been having lately, more precisely after I consolidated confidence in my game.
I'm seriously considering quitting gambling because I'm becoming a rude person in pursuit of financial improvement. I'm a difficult person, but lately at the poker tables I've been very rude and rude to my fellow players and it makes me feel really bad after a tantrum.
We are all human beings and no one deserves to be treated harshly. I don't know exactly what to say, but I don't want to be that kind of person, I don't want to offend other people because of the money, this is really bad but it's been uncontrollable. I think this is due to the fact that I make perfect plans but I am unable to have the sensitivity to understand that my time and my needs are different from other people's time and needs. Quitting playing at this point will be financially damaging to me but it seems like the ideal solution to seek peace of mind as offending other people has made me feel really bad. Here I leave my sincere apologies to everyone who felt offended by me and if any of you have advice that can help you I accept it with all my heart.

I would actually like to make friends and not offend people, but I think the search for a better financial situation is misaligned with this possibility.

 

[Tammy]

If you are thinking that gambling is affecting your relationships with people and your peace of mind, then you should definitely stop. It sounds like it has become an unhealthy obsession that is affecting your mental health. Seek help, and someone to talk to as well. There are other ways to make money that will not affect your psyche in this way.

I encourage you to read this page: https://www.cardschat.com/responsible-gaming.php

There is a lot of good info there to help you, and places you can go to get more support. Be honest with yourself. That is the first step. At the bottom there are help lines for people all across the world, including in your home country of brazil.

I really wish you all the best, and hope that you can get your peace of mind back, and a healthier mental state of being.

 

[takinitSLEAZEE]

I hope it works out for you, KS. I took a break for a month or so a while back and now I have a new respect for the game and the people who play it. Maybe that's all you need is a little break. Even if you decide to stop indefinitely I wish you the best.

 

[terryk]

Everyone needs a break once in awhile,,, take one,but this time really reflect about what your doing and who you want to be,,, a better person.

 

[elJenio8]

The problem with that is that you always come back, even more if you are passionate about the game as you seem to be.

But yeah, i was sick for 2 years i almost forgot about poker, the first months i wanted to play so bad, then you really forgot.. Is just giving time

 

[Luvepoker]

I normally would say you should take a break from the game and that's where I would start. Take a few months off and if you want to try again give it a shot.

This being said I agree with Tammy's post above. If this is really affecting your life and family, I would be more advisable to stop gambling all together.

One thing that caught my eye was your looking for financial improvement. I get it and understand but that really should not be about financial gain. Poker should be about having fun and enjoyment. If you do decide to come back just play for fun and not try to make it about financial improvement.

 

[Canwai]

Yes of course, it's about fun and enjoyment. That's exactly why I play poker. I can have financial freedom by playing. This is fun and enjoyable. Financial independence doing what you want is a lot of fun.

I normally would say you should take a break from the game and that's where I would start. Take a few months off and if you want to try again give it a shot.

This being said I agree with Tammy's post above. If this is really affecting your life and family, I would be more advisable to stop gambling all together.

One thing that caught my eye was your looking for financial improvement. I get it and understand but that really should not be about financial gain. Poker should be about having fun and enjoyment. If you do decide to come back just play for fun and not try to make it about financial improvement.

 

[Canwai]

In fact, I didn't want to stop playing, I wanted to stop being angry at the game.

If you are thinking that gambling is affecting your relationships with people and your peace of mind, then you should definitely stop. It sounds like it has become an unhealthy obsession that is affecting your mental health. Seek help, and someone to talk to as well. There are other ways to make money that will not affect your psyche in this way.

I encourage you to read this page: https://www.cardschat.com/responsible-gaming.php

There is a lot of good info there to help you, and places you can go to get more support. Be honest with yourself. That is the first step. At the bottom there are help lines for people all across the world, including in your home country of Brazil.

I really wish you all the best, and hope that you can get your peace of mind back, and a healthier mental state of being.

 

[Tammy]

In fact, I didn't want to stop playing, I wanted to stop being angry at the game.

Being angry at the game is a good reason to at least take a break. If something is making you angry, it isn't fun anymore, right?

 

[otmputquant]

First step is always recognizing the problem so for that I say good job. Mental health is a weird thing and my doctor is always talking about framing situations and taking a step back. I agree with Tammy about taking a break. With that I would say talk to a professional (psychologist/doctor/therapist/what ever you're comfortable with) because you love the game and want to keep playing but just don't want to be angry.
I work in a high stress environment (large wall street bank as a quant) and I found myself having similar issues at work. Doc said it was partially stress and a coping mechanism. After a few sessions, my performance was improving and my relationships were doing better too. No shame in opening up and getting help.
All that said, I wish you the best of luck and I hope you find your peace.

 

[Hemified]

I look at it as stopping is momentary and quitting is for good. I stop playing from time to time if i get bored with it, now it's I don't have enough time to play so I love it when I do. I set a 💰 limit or time so I can't just play as long usually couple hours for sngs and tournaments I try to play as short of em as I can. Good luck 🍺.

 

[ruco72]

Hello, members of the cardschat community.
I come through this post to share a feeling I've been having lately, more precisely after I consolidated confidence in my game.
I'm seriously considering quitting gambling because I'm becoming a rude person in pursuit of financial improvement. I'm a difficult person, but lately at the poker tables I've been very rude and rude to my fellow players and it makes me feel really bad after a tantrum.
We are all human beings and no one deserves to be treated harshly. I don't know exactly what to say, but I don't want to be that kind of person, I don't want to offend other people because of the money, this is really bad but it's been uncontrollable. I think this is due to the fact that I make perfect plans but I am unable to have the sensitivity to understand that my time and my needs are different from other people's time and needs. Quitting playing at this point will be financially damaging to me but it seems like the ideal solution to seek peace of mind as offending other people has made me feel really bad. Here I leave my sincere apologies to everyone who felt offended by me and if any of you have advice that can help you I accept it with all my heart.

I would actually like to make friends and not offend people, but I think the search for a better financial situation is misaligned with this possibility.

I find this to a very brave and honest post! If you can have this type of introspection I think you are on the right path. And quitting may be a solid option.

 

[azgeda]

I suggest you take a break from the game as it clearly affects your outside life and relationships that don’t correspond to the game. Take a break and in that time think of the game and what effects did it have on your mental well-being and moods. Did it have beneficial impact on you or are there only cons?

 

[WDStipa]

I understand you.

I also know to be rude to my opponents. Sometimes, especially when i have bad luck on table, I allow myself to much and write them things I am not proud of. I need to learn to control my emotions, but that is easier to say than master. That is probably what you also need.

If you are financially dependent on poker, that can be too much of a burden for you. There are also other ways to earn money. Let poker be just your extra money.

Maybe you just need a break. Nothing is wrong with that. I took a break from poker few times. You will probably be back sooner than you think, but fresh and cool-headed.

Whatever you decide I wish you a good luck!

 

[Poker Orifice]

What part of the game are you angry with?

 

[BetterThanAvgButNotByMuch]

I would work on finding out why you act that way. Some folks don't have balance in their life so when its all one thing like poker, poker, poker and poker and it isn't going well then folks get down on themselves so that's not good.

Other folks put too much pressure on themselves playing poker and focus too much on stuff like worrying about cashing in tourns rather then enjoying the game or you're depending on your 12 hour grind a day at the local casino to pay bills. Nothing worse than someone hitting a suck out on the river when the electric bill is due in a week, lol.

All that stuff takes all the fun out of playing and builds stress. Whatever it is, you should try to find out what is bothering you and figure out how to get over it and move on.

 

[Havik]

Hello, members of the cardschat community.
I come through this post to share a feeling I've been having lately, more precisely after I consolidated confidence in my game.
I'm seriously considering quitting gambling because I'm becoming a rude person in pursuit of financial improvement. I'm a difficult person, but lately at the poker tables I've been very rude and rude to my fellow players and it makes me feel really bad after a tantrum.
We are all human beings and no one deserves to be treated harshly. I don't know exactly what to say, but I don't want to be that kind of person, I don't want to offend other people because of the money, this is really bad but it's been uncontrollable. I think this is due to the fact that I make perfect plans but I am unable to have the sensitivity to understand that my time and my needs are different from other people's time and needs. Quitting playing at this point will be financially damaging to me but it seems like the ideal solution to seek peace of mind as offending other people has made me feel really bad. Here I leave my sincere apologies to everyone who felt offended by me and if any of you have advice that can help you I accept it with all my heart.

I would actually like to make friends and not offend people, but I think the search for a better financial situation is misaligned with this possibility.

First try to learn to controll emotions, Don't let your work affect your home life. Take a break, meditation and other things might help. If nothing seems to work and you still truly hate your career path, then I would definitely start looking for something new to do.

 

[mushthebush]

I wish I played with you to be brutally honest. I don't think it's such a bad thing as long as you don't take that anger away from the tables. If you do, however, you should sort it out. What happens in poker, stays in poker, just make sure you don't take the game out of the game and into your personal life so that it affects people who care about you, or it doesn't put you in antisocial situations.

I genuinely wish I could play with you just because you could be as rude as you wanted and in the end you would be the one who ends up offended and pennyless. I personally, trained my mind to not get offended by anything. You could say the worst things to me and I will take it in a funny way and get back at you with something you don't expect. Because if I fed your attacks, you would continue but if I block your attacks, you wouldn't get fueled by my replies. And, besides I really enjoy a challenge whatever it may be and that includes you.

Being angry at a game is fine, but acting on it like hitting stuff or breaking things or taking your anger out on others is completely wrong. Like, no one is to blame for your game, not your mouse, not your keyboard, not your LCD, not your wife, family or friends.

If you act on your anger then I would tell you to separate the poker from everything else in your mind. Simple thought training. Just like a job. Once you're done for the day, leave everything there and enjoy your personal life. Then you recover your anger at your pig of a boss the moment you set foot back at work if you feel like it.

Hope it makes sense.

 

[Roller]

If the game is effecting your personal life or your mental attitude then it's definitely time to take a step back. If you still have a passion for the game then maybe a suggestion of working on your mental portion of your game could help. There're plenty of Books that could be recommended to guide you in the right direction. If you interested I would suggest an additional thread asking for recommendations.

Best of Luck in Life and Poker

 

[JordanH]

KingSize - Your comments immediately made me think of John McEnroe. If you don't know who he is I suggest Googling him. He too had a problem with anger while playing the sport that he excelled at. I don't know if he regretted some of his outbursts but they certainly didn't seem to hurt his career.

 

[10gerka]

What I could tell you is that first stop playing, then try to study a lot and work a lot the mental part, that is key to continue in this world of poker, it is not easy, but you have to do it if you want to go far, poker is a very nice game, but when you do not get as you want that is where many throw in the towel and quit, you should always improve your weaknesses, your mental part is not being worked, you should take advantage of the rest to train you a lot, so that when you meet with that problem you can overcome it very quickly.

 

[Canwai]

When things don't go as planned

What part of the game are you angry with?

 

[FlushKings311]

Hello, members of the cardschat community.
I come through this post to share a feeling I've been having lately, more precisely after I consolidated confidence in my game.
I'm seriously considering quitting gambling because I'm becoming a rude person in pursuit of financial improvement. I'm a difficult person, but lately at the poker tables I've been very rude and rude to my fellow players and it makes me feel really bad after a tantrum.
We are all human beings and no one deserves to be treated harshly. I don't know exactly what to say, but I don't want to be that kind of person, I don't want to offend other people because of the money, this is really bad but it's been uncontrollable. I think this is due to the fact that I make perfect plans but I am unable to have the sensitivity to understand that my time and my needs are different from other people's time and needs. Quitting playing at this point will be financially damaging to me but it seems like the ideal solution to seek peace of mind as offending other people has made me feel really bad. Here I leave my sincere apologies to everyone who felt offended by me and if any of you have advice that can help you I accept it with all my heart.

I would actually like to make friends and not offend people, but I think the search for a better financial situation is misaligned with this possibility.

Hey Ive been there , poker can be frustrating at times, prays on my patience, take a break , I take them every once in while, it will be there when you are ready, hang in there

 

[jordanbillie]

Hello, members of the cardschat community.
I come through this post to share a feeling I've been having lately, more precisely after I consolidated confidence in my game.
I'm seriously considering quitting gambling because I'm becoming a rude person in pursuit of financial improvement. I'm a difficult person, but lately at the poker tables I've been very rude and rude to my fellow players and it makes me feel really bad after a tantrum.
We are all human beings and no one deserves to be treated harshly. I don't know exactly what to say, but I don't want to be that kind of person, I don't want to offend other people because of the money, this is really bad but it's been uncontrollable. I think this is due to the fact that I make perfect plans but I am unable to have the sensitivity to understand that my time and my needs are different from other people's time and needs. Quitting playing at this point will be financially damaging to me but it seems like the ideal solution to seek peace of mind as offending other people has made me feel really bad. Here I leave my sincere apologies to everyone who felt offended by me and if any of you have advice that can help you I accept it with all my heart.

I would actually like to make friends and not offend people, but I think the search for a better financial situation is misaligned with this possibility.

I'd suggest an introspective practice while taking some time away from poker/gambling.

I took a very long break away from poker (about 7 years), and developed a reading/yoga/spiritual/philosophical practice.

I have been back to playing poker for the past (almost) 2 years, and I am entirely different compared to the "old me."

If you just start with something like...Stoic Philosophy, you might find yourself going down a wonderful rabbit hole of self improvement and Progress (with a capital P!).

Best wishes, I hope you find what you are looking for in this life.

 

[Chica_bonita]

Hello! :ciao:
You know, there are a lot of people who behave aggressively at the tables, they write obscenities and insult other players both for losing and for winning. At the same time, this is the norm for them and they do not react to what they are trying to convey that this is wrong.
You have taken the first step: you have recognized the problem and want to solve it.
The second step: this is a break - you definitely need it.
Third step: Take a piece of paper and a pen. Spread it into two columns. In one column, write what good you have already received or are getting from the game. In the second column, write what is wrong with this game or during it. Everything you write should concern only you and the game (including the participants of the game). It's not that easy really. When you are done, then analyze the result - what is more: good or bad and how good or bad it is for you.
Fourth step: Take another sheet and divide it again. Now write about your achievements or losses regarding relationships with family, friends, loved ones. In one column, write about it at the time that you did not play, and in the second column - when you started playing. Compare.
And finally the fifth step: write down what you want from life. Think very well. What you need for your loved ones to live in harmony (we are not talking about the desire to have 100,000,000, not about the financial component, but about what makes you happy).
When you write this, then refer to your lists: whether the game gave you this, whether there was something of your desires at the time when you were playing or not playing. In fact, I suggest you think, reflect, analyze. But it's to do it not in your head, but on paper - to visualize.
Next you need to decide: what needs to be changed and whether worth playing. When you answer this question, then think about whether you can handle it yourself or you need help. And if you need help, then whose: relatives and friends or professionals.
I'm not encouraging you to do this, but it's a good method and it works. Sometimes it takes a long time, but if you dive into it, I think you will achieve results. The main thing is that you don't need to play poker at this time.