stupid things players say

[gazrosenau]

an online player who had exclusively played at pokerstars and tilt until black friday was sitting at my 1/2 and went through about 1200 bucks (me and one other guy had gotten the most of it as i was +700) , hesitated when reloading again and decided to get up. He says, "Gotta see if i can deposit on Carbon so i can play some real poker"

I almost fell off my chair laughing

Thud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just did funny shit that

 

[Hardcorecake]

After you make a call against a bad players bluff on river with bottom pair, "How do you make that call you DONK!"

 

[blueskies]

People love to call ppl "donks" nowadays. An idiot can slow play his KK and then goes nuts on the river even though a third spade hits and all he's got is an overpair. Loses to a flush and calls the other guy a donk.

I had this guy in an MTT say how I could move all my chips in with only K5 suited even though I was getting 3:1 to call the BTN's raise and would have been left with slightly more than 1 big blind if I folded.

 

[imafin]

Next time a player rants out to you that the site is rigged. Tell him or her, "Yea i know, my brother-in-law owns the site".

 

[Tammy]

I had a player tell me just the other day that my mother should obviously have aborted me when my AK held against his J/5 suited, all-in. Oh yeah, and apparently I'm an idiot too. lol

 

[Leo 50]

I just ignore them all and keep playing.
If anyone’s going to berate my play, it’s me!

 

[tbdbitl]

"I know I'm beat. I call"

 

[alaskabill]

"I know I'm beat. I call"

This is Negraneau on most episodes of HSP.

 

[punch]

The best thing i ever saw in the chatbox was someone say 'god can you donks stop it'. So someone replied 'stop what?!' and the response was 'stop raising so big when you're in the blinds or i'm going to find a different table'. The best bit was the other person who chimed up with 'they all do it mate they're all fish'.

 

[pokerjack43]

Why???

That means you are getting money from the donks.

means theyre taking it more often than giving it ;-(

 

[Hardcorecake]

So on final table 3 left 1st in chips theres a guy basically pushing everytime....I get AJ BB he SB he pushes I call...he has j 2 this is where the fun starts "What BS you always have an A...You are the fking luckiest player, every fkn time!." had just beaten him like 12 hands ago to get 1st in chips withlike AK vs k10....this guy was pretty terrible. Anyway he flops the 2 and just continues ranting about how I am the luckiest player...best I figure guy just doesn't know the definition of the word lucky ;P

 

[JDAWG5]

means theyre taking it more often than giving it ;-(

Your bluffing too much then.

 

[kissapig]

Run over by a herd of turtles.

 

[strapdiesel]

I hate when a bad player sucks out on me and then has the nerve to laugh at me.

 

[LIR0under]

guy who got beat with my set on bovada : "Die in a car accident you doosh"

my answer: "already did. they have online poker in hell"

 

[Bowman]

Don't really like to call anyone out or anyone dumb or stupid. They play their cards the way they want, up to them. They'ry time, they're dime. I don't like to be called out when I play a perticular hand. One may say that was a garbage hand. Some people have their reads at perticular times and hopefully they work out. Like the idea of sitting at a table with a webcam, sure I would say some dumb things forgetting my place. Would try this once or twice, for fun and to learn something. Help my game at a live table I am sure.

 

[coyotegal]

guy who got beat with my set on bovada : "Die in a car accident you doosh"

my answer: "already did. they have online poker in hell"

ROFL!!!!

 

[coyotegal]

was in a tourney today and had about 2 more bb's left. I was the small blind and got A6s. I knew that I had to get all my chips in if I could before the next bb and decided that I might do it then. utg raises 1x bb and everyone else folds, except the button who was big stacked. Big stack bids in 6X bb and I think...ya... he's in position... prob. tryin to steal blinds...and push all in. everyone else folds. He shows A5s the cards go to river and I win so he calls me a donk and starts berating my play... So i check his stats at sharkscope and comment to him that ya...I'm the donk cuz he is one point above me at sharkscope and his answer was "Sharkscope is over-rated" ...lol

 

[Reptar7]

A lot of people tell me they hope I die of cancer for some reason. I just ignore it or report them.

I like it when people say stuff like, "I was 75.82% to win that," to which I reply "donk" or "u suck." ticks them off everytime.

 

[Reptar7]

was in a tourney today and had about 2 more bb's left. I was the small blind and got A6s. I knew that I had to get all my chips in if I could before the next bb and decided that I might do it then. utg raises 1x bb and everyone else folds, except the button who was big stacked. Big stack bids in 6X bb and I think...ya... he's in position... prob. tryin to steal blinds...and push all in. everyone else folds. He shows A5s the cards go to river and I win so he calls me a donk and starts berating my play... So i check his stats at sharkscope and comment to him that ya...I'm the donk cuz he is one point above me at sharkscope and his answer was "Sharkscope is over-rated" ...lol

Um, 1. It is against the TOS to berate players about stats and 2. Sharkscope doesn't seem to work for me either.

 

[coyotegal]

Um, 1. It is against the TOS to berate players about stats and 2. Sharkscope doesn't seem to work for me either.

1. Who's TOS...CC's or Merges...
2. I did not berate him... I agreed with him... I did not say his stats were bad or good...and called myself the donk... and him the pro....because he was one point above me.... there is a difference...
American Heritage Dictionary: be·rate


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(bĭ-rāt')

tr.v., -rat·ed, -rat·ing, -rates.
To rebuke or scold angrily and at length. See synonyms at scold.

 

[js520]

There's a couple of limpers into a pot and I have AK, I make a pot sized raise and both limpers call. I miss the flop and the first limper donkbets, the other limper and I both fold. the following conversation then took place between me and the limper that folded:

Him: "why did u raise before the flop"
Me: "I had a good hand"
Him: "so why did u fold on the flop"
Me: "because I missed"
Him: "you had f*** all"
Me: "lol AK is not f** all"
Him: "yes it is, 22 beats AK, now stop raising"

Lol

 

[ovitoo]

Small blind says: "check"

 

[GambleOnRose]

I once had someone (who had just busted out with every penny he had, sitting to my left) at a 5/10NL table ask me if he could borrow $5.45 for 24 hours.. Poor idiot called behind 2 all-in bets preflop with AK, other two players had AA and KK (wasn't online, surprisingly haha).. he lost $4.8K in a matter of seconds, then proceeded to ask me for $5.45 so he could go buy and smoke a cigarette for the first time in 25 years.. "Don't say anything to my wife when she comes back, I don't want her to know I'm smoking again"

Buddy, I'm pretty sure your wife's gonna be a little more pissed that you lost the last 4k in your pocket and still managed to go $5 in debt hahaha

lmao. funny stuff. I would hate to be his wife. People don't handle losing very well.