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Dani_California
Rock Star
Silver Level
Really funny stories, great thread 
Online is a gold mine for all the funny stuff donks say but I always find it super funny when they are so bad that they don't even know it themselves and then blame others for being a fish.
One guy made a standard 3x bet preflop, I called with 75 suited. I hit an open-ended flush draw and he continues to raise after the flop with just slightly bigger raise than minimum. I call and hit my straight and continue to call. River comes, I have the nuts and he goes all-in. Easy victory for me against his lousy pair, but oh boy how mad he got. Called me (and my mom) by every possible name and of course the always funny "stupid fish" without ever questioning his own game.
Once I heard online that I am a "dickless idiot" and I had to tell him that it is actually correct since I'm a girl and occasionally an idiot in my own opinion as well
Not the funniest stories here but these just sum up online poker so well for me.
Online is a gold mine for all the funny stuff donks say but I always find it super funny when they are so bad that they don't even know it themselves and then blame others for being a fish. One guy made a standard 3x bet preflop, I called with 75 suited. I hit an open-ended flush draw and he continues to raise after the flop with just slightly bigger raise than minimum. I call and hit my straight and continue to call. River comes, I have the nuts and he goes all-in. Easy victory for me against his lousy pair, but oh boy how mad he got. Called me (and my mom) by every possible name and of course the always funny "stupid fish" without ever questioning his own game.
Once I heard online that I am a "dickless idiot" and I had to tell him that it is actually correct since I'm a girl and occasionally an idiot in my own opinion as well
Not the funniest stories here but these just sum up online poker so well for me.
vitalicharniak
Visionary
Silver Level
They begin to fall into despair, make bad calls, and sometimes they start all the hard, literally handing out their money to the right and left. ... All the best poker players I know have played millions and millions of hands.
HennieP
Rock Star
Silver Level
People don't just say funny things at live games. This was from a tournament I'm busy with. I had AJ and he had KJ in the previous hand and we both flopped top pair. He called off most of his stack to me just to lose due to me holding the A kicker. So this is what he said...
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CryptoBlood
Rock Star
Bronze Level
Yea there are so many weird players.I played once with one really player which was really boring when I moved him from table and then he buyed reentry and after that i moved him again and he buyed again and i moved him again.
vitalii029
Visionary
Silver Level
You shouldn't let these people attention is the people who came to play and win and such people do not know how to play they just know the rules of the game and not more ,but when you do not pay attention to them they get mad even more
jsnake716
Legend
Bronze Level
I used to enjoy needling "bad" players. Wait a minute, they are just recreational players. If they enjoy themselves playing poker who the hell am I to try and ruin their day. Now I will actually sit there and let people be people. I am trying to make money, I will try to be social or if I cannot do that, I will be quiet.
Just my 2 cents
Just my 2 cents
wilpinsi
Legend
Silver Level
Lol, we see players entering the game with nothing, and the worst when they win, they talk like a bunch of bullies, maybe with the strategy of getting their opponent out of earnest, and thus make him lose his head.
One of these days was when a madman was throwing all his hands like a real lunatic, and worst of all in a few plays he had 27k in chips, he played 2-7 5-9 10-2 7-4 - 3j hit them all. ..is there anything more annoying than that?
One of these days was when a madman was throwing all his hands like a real lunatic, and worst of all in a few plays he had 27k in chips, he played 2-7 5-9 10-2 7-4 - 3j hit them all. ..is there anything more annoying than that?
tagece
Legend
Platinum Level
pokerstars, after I got a huge pot with a trap: "You did the wrong play. You are a donkey. @#*¨$#&!!! I'm a professional, I'm only playing this 0,10 S&G for fun!" :laugh:
wilpinsi
Legend
Silver Level
Is correct your assertion, playing 0,10 really to give a good laugh as it will not affect your bankroll at all.
I keep looking at what the guys are paying for, and I think do they play other values like in this form ???
I do not think so!
tagece
Legend
Platinum Level
Is correct your assertion, playing 0,10 really to give a good laugh as it will not affect your bankroll at all.
I keep looking at what the guys are paying for, and I think do they play other values like in this form ???
I do not think so!
Just to be clear: The villain said he was a pro, not me. I'm veeeery far from that...
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ZoNTrA1996
Rising Star
Bronze Level
I just 'love' players that were incredibly lucky and then taunt other players. One time there was this pretencious guy betting on everything, no matter if he had AA or 2/3. And one time he raised with 2/5 off suit preflop and got straight on flop. Other player was unlucky because he had 'only' 3 Kings and lost all his chips. After that pretencious guy started to annoy other players in chat talking he is the best player in the table. Luckily, soon after, he was owned by some guy with full house.
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Rational Madman
Legend
Platinum Level
I am a very experienced cash game player and can tell you that if he had done anything other than checked the river, you could badmouth him but the fact he checked it and called as opposed to raising your raise means he perfectly estimated the situation and while his flop call was a gamble, the river play was god tier.Lolll!
i love the zynga boppers, they often venture to a casino after a month of zynga
I played a cash game last friday this hand... I had KJ we were 2 way into the pot and he had called my raise with 9-5 off
I flop a king flop is i think 10-K-3 .. I Raise get called, turn comes a 9, he now raises
I call, river comes a 5... he checks, so I bet half pot...
and he calls me 2 pair,
I just looked at him - and he's like I knew you had something with a smug look on his face as if he had just outplayed me,
then he starts going on about how hes killing the table and gloating about his hand reading.
If he knew I had something hes calling with 9 high? and then turns 3rd top pair and raises? seriously...
I just felt like giving a long list of criticism but didnt bother
R
Rational Madman
Legend
Platinum Level
I extremely agree with your outlook.^If you learn to ignore the result, you won't really be affected by this. I mean, just think about it this way: He got lucky, so he's gonna come back for more. And more and more and more, until you end up with all his money. Then lol @ him inside.
Why do you think Casinos design house games with a house EV of like .01 or whatever? So people win a ton and think they can actually beat the game, over and over, until they lose everything.
As for nh: technically speaking a poker hand is five cards rather than 2, so a 2-pair from 95o is actually a nice hand. I can compliment donks on suckouts and not feel the least bit bad about it, because I'm not complimenting them, I'm complimenting the hand they randomly drew. So, I'm mocking them and they think I'm validating them. Win-win for me.
This is why I love cash games as opposed to tournaments, one or two bad hands dent your bankroll yes, but then you have 200 hands after vs the same guy/girl to win it all back and then profit.
Four Dogs
Legend
Silver Level
This hand was from a recent $2/$5 game at Foxwoods. A 50ish loose Reg to my immediate right who usually plays tournaments opens for $20, I fold and a tight but decent younger player to my immediate left re-raises to $60. It folds around to the OR who thinks for a second and calls.
Flop comes Q75. The Tourney Guy to my right shoves all-in for about $300 and the player to my left snap calls. The board runs out all low cards. Tourney Guy on my right shows TT, young tight player to my left shows AA and scoops a $700 pot.
ME: "Well that didn't go according plan."
Tourney Guy: "No, but my read was spot on."
ME: "Really? How so?"
Tourney Guy: "I knew he didn't have the Queen."
Flop comes Q75. The Tourney Guy to my right shoves all-in for about $300 and the player to my left snap calls. The board runs out all low cards. Tourney Guy on my right shows TT, young tight player to my left shows AA and scoops a $700 pot.
ME: "Well that didn't go according plan."
Tourney Guy: "No, but my read was spot on."
ME: "Really? How so?"
Tourney Guy: "I knew he didn't have the Queen."
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Aglarion
Rock Star
Silver Level
The most funny thing I keep hearing is people complaining they lose because there are many "bad" players who get lucky, I wonder if they think they will get better results against "good" players.
Yesterday some guy kept complaining because someone made a check/raise, arguing it was bad manners and that he would get shot if he did it on a live room.
Yesterday some guy kept complaining because someone made a check/raise, arguing it was bad manners and that he would get shot if he did it on a live room
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