My lack of emotional control is probably the biggest leak in my game. When I'm playing my A game and things are going well, or even if I'm just breaking even and things are mild, no worries. But man, if I make that ONE bad call, take that ONE bad beat (get coolered, sucked out on etc.) It's really easy for me to lose my cool. What usually happens is I stop thinking rationally, and I'll move up in stakes and try and run it up, making the worst plays until I burn through more than what most would consider a reasonable amount of money. I've been reading "The Mental Game of Poker" and Jared Tendler describes this exact phenomenon down to the letter. It's nice knowing that I'm part of a large swath of players prone to this. What's not so nice is being AWARE this an issue and I STILL do it. Wanna make some money? Find me on a table when I'm running bad. Look for the guy spewing chips on a 500NL with questionable
hands - that might be me. I have some external (to poker) and internal (to myself) issues I need to sort through to better manage these emotions. I'm getting a lot better at it. doing things like partitioning my
bankroll across different exchanges/accounts and wallets to make it difficult for me to burn through more than a few buy-ins at a time. It's a slow process for me (learning how to control my anger/emotions). but we're getting there.
Here's where I get deep: I'm a recovering alcoholic with 133 days sober and my father passed away almost a month ago. I had a rough upbringing and have clinically diagnosed ADHD and Acute Major Depressive disorder. Right now I'm a recipe for disaster when it comes to emotional control. So this aspect of my game is particularly difficult to address. But I will say this, eating right, working out on a regular basis, meditating every day and doing frequent yoga sessions has helped a great deal during all this, allowing me to have a heightened level of awareness in all things, including when I play cards. Between all that, AA, and therapy I'da been broke a long time ago. But I'm still up, manage my money and bankroll adequately enough to allow for these occasions where I tilt hard.
I've come to accept my emotions as being a part of who I am, and ever the student, I'm still learning to manage them effectively enough to not allow them to blindly dictate my decisions at the table. Also, if anyone else can relate to me, and has successfully overcome this "leak," please share with me (along with the rest of the group) what you did and the results you gained from it. I'm eager to keep learning and keep growing.