Check out this HH lol

[Effexor]

pokerstars Game #5760890040: Hold'em No Limit ($0.01/$0.02) - 2006/08/01 - 16:02:14 (ET)
Table 'Prokne' 6-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: CherryHillNJ ($5.27 in chips)
Seat 2: Fleace_This ($5.64 in chips)
Seat 3: ProHoldem ($2 in chips)
Seat 5: Swiss Tony ($2.97 in chips)
Seat 6: Effexor1 ($1.90 in chips)
CherryHillNJ: posts small blind $0.01
Fleace_This: posts big blind $0.02
ProHoldem: posts big blind $0.02
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Effexor1 [7d Kd]
ProHoldem: raises $0.02 to $0.04
Swiss Tony: calls $0.04
Effexor1: calls $0.04
CherryHillNJ said, "dont look now...theres a pro sititing next to u fleace"
CherryHillNJ said, "in a penny room"
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.06
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.08
ProHoldem: calls $0.04
Swiss Tony: calls $0.04
Effexor1: calls $0.04
Fleace_This said, "lol"
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.10
Fleace_This said, "im scard"
stefan-fish joins the table at seat #4
Fleace_This: calls $0.02
ProHoldem: calls $0.02
Swiss Tony: calls $0.02
Effexor1: calls $0.02
*** FLOP *** [8s 9s Ac]
CherryHillNJ: bets $0.02
Fleace_This: calls $0.02
ProHoldem: raises $0.02 to $0.04
Swiss Tony: calls $0.04
Effexor1: folds
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.06
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.08
ProHoldem: calls $0.04
Swiss Tony: calls $0.04
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.10
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.12
ProHoldem: calls $0.04
Swiss Tony: calls $0.04
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.14
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.16
ProHoldem: calls $0.04
Swiss Tony: calls $0.04
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.18
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.20
ProHoldem: raises $0.02 to $0.22
Swiss Tony: calls $0.06
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.24
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.26
ProHoldem: calls $0.04
Swiss Tony: calls $0.04
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.28
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.30
ProHoldem: calls $0.04
Swiss Tony: calls $0.04
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.32
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.34
ProHoldem: calls $0.04
Swiss Tony: calls $0.04
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.36
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.38
stefan-fish said, "preston uk?"
ProHoldem: raises $0.02 to $0.40
Swiss Tony: calls $0.06
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.42
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.44
ProHoldem: raises $0.02 to $0.46
Swiss Tony: folds
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.48
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.50
ProHoldem: raises $0.02 to $0.52
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.54
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.56
ProHoldem: raises $0.02 to $0.58
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.60
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.62
ProHoldem: raises $0.02 to $0.64
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.66
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.68
ProHoldem: raises $0.02 to $0.70
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.72
Fleace_This: calls $0.04
ProHoldem: raises $0.02 to $0.74
CherryHillNJ: calls $0.02
Fleace_This: calls $0.02
*** TURN *** [8s 9s Ac] [2c]
CherryHillNJ: bets $0.02
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.04
ProHoldem: calls $0.04
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.06
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.08
ProHoldem: calls $0.04
CherryHillNJ: calls $0.02
*** RIVER *** [8s 9s Ac 2c] [Kh]
CherryHillNJ: bets $0.02
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.04
ProHoldem: calls $0.04
Swiss Tony said, "yep"
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.06
Fleace_This: raises $0.02 to $0.08
ProHoldem: calls $0.04
CherryHillNJ: raises $0.02 to $0.10
Fleace_This: raises $1.50 to $1.60
ProHoldem: calls $1 and is all-in
CherryHillNJ: folds
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Fleace_This: shows [Qd 8c] (a pair of Eights)
ProHoldem: shows [Ad Th] (a pair of Aces)
ProHoldem collected $5.37 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $5.62 | Rake $0.25
Board [8s 9s Ac 2c Kh]
Seat 1: CherryHillNJ (small blind) folded on the River
Seat 2: Fleace_This (big blind) showed [Qd 8c] and lost with a pair of Eights
Seat 3: ProHoldem showed [Ad Th] and won ($5.37) with a pair of Aces
Seat 5: Swiss Tony folded on the Flop
Seat 6: Effexor1 (button) folded on the Flop

This sort of betting went on in every single hand I saw before I got tired of it and left.

 

[t1riel]

If they are going to bet that much why don't they play higher limits?

 

[Effexor]

If they are going to bet that much why don't they play higher limits?

CherryHillNJ and Fleace_This bet like this on every single hand, with total garbage. At higher levels they'd get decimated. As it stood, both of them lost all their money within the next 10 hands or so.

I just thought the 1/2 mile long HH was funny.

 

[Jack Daniels]

I don't disagree that this kind of betting in such a low limit game can be really annoying (which is one reason I don't play micro-limits). but, in their defense, I guess, it is a no limit table. They are entitled to bet as much as they want.

I do know some guys that don't have the bankroll to sit and wait for cards playing 15/30 or even 10/20 but they will play 1/2 and 2/4 tables. Oh boy watch out, too. They are still no limit games and seeing some huges bets there is allowed.

Plus, the lower limit games are easier to beat. You aren't going to support yourself playing .01/.02 games, but if you bet 1.50 and someone calls and you win, where's the problem? If I knew I had the best hand and thought you'd call a huge bet, I'd make it too.

 

[Dorkus Malorkus]

I think it's pretty obvious they weren't actually playing seriously.

 

[Lo-Dog]

So the whole table thought it was limit? lol
Someone, anyone, raise more than 2c!!!!!!!
Then on the river one of them figures out he can bet more than 2c and says holy crap I have middle pair lets go all in!!

Priceless!!! lol

 

[Bombjack]

I hate it when they do this. Also, when there's a reasonable pot going and someone opens for the minimum bet. You just want to fold but you have to call because of the pot odds.

 

[joosebuck]

ProHoldem: raises $0.02 to $0.46
Swiss Tony: folds

hahaha i love that this is this kids cut-off point. like hes saying "NO THATS MY LIMIT, IM DONE"

 

[ChuckTs]

hahaha i love that this is this kids cut-off point. like hes saying "NO THATS MY LIMIT, IM DONE"

LOL
i saw that too...wonder what it was about that particular raise that just did it for him

 

[blankoblanco]

hahaha i love that this is this kids cut-off point. like hes saying "NO THATS MY LIMIT, IM DONE"

lmao, hilarious

 

[BKrywko1]

Reading this hand history reminded me too much of EuroRounders:

EuroRounders

Michel (voiceover): "If you can't find the boorish American hold'em player at the table within half an hour, you are the boorish American hold'em player."

-----

TITLE/CREDITS. This entire movie is in black and white, with subtitles.

-----

Michel (voiceover): "This game is really scummy, and well above what I can afford to play. My entire bankroll is riding on this one session going well. This is Teddy CIA's place, where they only play Pot Limit Omaha, the most sophisticated game in Europe."

- Michel knocks on the window -

Teddy CIA: "You want poker, or whore?"

Michel: "Poker. Give me three stacks of high, elitist society."

-----

Michel: "I raise."

Teddy CIA: "It's a position raise. I call."

- The flop comes 5-7-A, with two diamonds -

Michel: "I bet the pot."

Teddy CIA: "I raise the pot."

Michel: "I reraise the pot."

Teddy CIA: "I reraise the pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel (voiceover): "I sit back and think. I have three aces - the best possible hand. I want him to think I'm debating a call, but really I'm just
thinking about Monte Carlo, and whatever the [censored] is in Monte Carlo."

Michel: *shrugs* "Okay, well, I re-pot it, I'm all in, because I don't think you have a pair." *winks at the camera*

Teddy CIA: "Who are you winking at? It doesn't matter, I call."

Michel (voiceover): "I know before he even says it."

Teddy CIA: "I have 8-6-4-3 with two diamonds, for a wrap straight draw and a flush draw, which is a favorite over your top set."

- Turn is a King. River is a 2 which gives Teddy CIA an ace-to-five straight for the win. -

- Michel sits there, shell-shocked. -

Joey Croissant: "Come on, I'll get you a whore."

-----

Michel (voiceover): "Well, that sucked. Since then, I've sworn off of poker and made my living as a roadside prostitute for boorish American tourists.
Hopefully, I can pay my way through law school that way. I can always find games, though. I could turn this truck onto the road and be at the Taj in 19 and a half hours."

-----

Michel (voiceover): "I'm here to pick my friend Worm up from prison."

- Worm walks out of prison -

Michel: "Worm! It's wonderful to see you!"

- They kiss each other passionately on the mouth -

Michel: "How was prison?"

Worm: "I was brutally sodomized on a regular basis."

-----

Michel: "Look...Croissant, I never told you this, but about a year ago, I was playing poker at the Casino des Atlantes, and Marcel Luske walks in. He sits down at the 50/100 pot limit game. And, I mean, the whole place stops, right? Just watching this guy play. After a while there isn't a retarded European gambling game going, because everybody's just, you know, watching this guy."

- Joey Croissant nods -

Michel: "So you know what I did? I sat down."

Joey Croissant: "No way, you need at least 300,000 euros to sit down at a game like that. Such bad financial management is typical of a boorish
American!"

- Joey Croissant and Michel laugh for twenty-six minutes -

Michel: "Right, okay, but seriously, I played for an hour, doing nothing but folding. Then I won a huge pot."

Joey Croissant: "Aces? Kings? Ace-King doublesuited? Suited aces? High connectors? Middle doublesuited connectors? Two big pair?"

Michel: "Rags."

Joey Croissant: "That's probably fine too, you're only like a 48/52 dog."

Michel: "I raised. And he came over the top of me, like I was a boorish American. I re-popped it. He potted it again. I think for like two seconds and then I re-pot it."

Joey Croissant: "Jesus [censored] Christ, how much money did you have?"

Michel: "After I bet I would quietly slide my chips back toward my stack, nobody noticed. Anyway, he thinks for a while, looks at me, checks his cards again, and he mucks. I take it down. And then he looks at me and says, 'I have to know. Did you have it?' And I said, 'I'm sorry Marcel, I can't remember.'"

Joey Croissant: "Face!"

Michel: "I know, totally. Anyway, based on that one hand, I felt confident gambling for all the money I had, at one time."

-----

Law Professor: "I am a Jew."

Michel: "I hate you."

-----

Teddy CIA: "We play, heads up, Pot Limit Omaha, 25 and 50 blinds, until one of us has it all?"

Michel: "Out of sheer curiosity, you realize you're giving up like boat loads of equity by agreeing to gamble for money that's effectively yours anyway, right? That you could just not let me play, and then kill me and take what I have?"

Teddy CIA: "I know, but I am a boorish American!"

- Michel and Teddy CIA laugh for seventy-two minutes -

-----

Michel (voiceover): "I pick up Ace-Ace-Jack-Ten doublesuited."

Michel: "I raise the pot."

Teddy CIA: "Very aggressive. But, I reraise the pot."

Michael (voiceover): "He's representing Ace-Ace-King-King doublesuited, the only hand better than mine. I can't call, and give him a chance to
catch. I can only fold...if I believe him."

Michel: "I reraise, I'm all in."

Teddy CIA: "Take it down."

-----

- The flop reads 10-9-5, with two spades -

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot."

Teddy CIA: "Pot."

Michel: "Pot. I'm all in."

Teddy CIA: "Alright, I call. What do you have?"

Michel: "Jack high flush draw and middle set."

Teddy CIA: "Wrap, with a king high flush draw."

Michel: "Boy, I sure hope my 5:4 edge holds up,
otherwise I am going to die."

- Turn is an off-suit 5, giving Michel an unbeatable hand. But the river is the ace of spades anyway, because it's always the [censored] ace of spades. -

Teddy CIA: "He beat me. Pay that man his money. His silly, silly-looking European money."

-----

Cab Driver: "Where are you off to?"

Michel: "Monte Carlo."

Cab Driver: "Good luck."

Michel: "Shut the [censored] up."

 

[joosebuck]

rofl what the hell was that

 

[BKrywko1]

Some dude wrote that last year or so, and it's been posted around the interenet since then - it's a "what-if" the movie Rounders took place in Europe deal.

I don't know, I found it hilarious, at least.

 

[KerouacsDog]

Quality post BKrywko1, too funny for words.

 

[Bombjack]

Is it just a script or can you get it on DVD?