If he's 3 betting your UTG open with ATo then I'm going to venture to say you were indeed being targeted. This is fairly out of line and can look like spew but it could actually be a decent exploitative play at a weak passive table. At a stronger table he will be hanging himself out to dry too often to other players behind who will wake up with a hand, notice his wide 3 bet range, and play back at him or at least call in position. At this table he's able to get it heads up often or even win the pot out right by 3 betting so he's actually correct to keep 3 betting until the table adjusts. As such, I think this makes your shove more acceptable because if he's doing this with ATo from UTG+1 it's probably NOT the bottom of his 3 bet range. As soon as you start running into hands like 77 or 88 your shove becomes profitable even though it doesn't have much fold equity. Your second post also implies he indeed could have some 3 bet bluffs like suited connectors or suited wheel aces as an exploit. Eventually you'll need to take a stand against this type of player who has position on you all night or he will continue to make it hard for you all session and you'll only be able to play a very predictable and super tight range. In the future you should also consider a seat change or table change if you notice you're being targeted and you don't know how to adjust.
Your suggestion to flat 1/3 of your stack pre, x/c the flop, and hope for a x/x turn, just so you can fold river and save a few BBs is really exactly what your V wants you to do. It allows him to see all 5 cards to catch up when he's behind and it allows him to bet you off of the best hand often. Imagine the river is a K instead of an Ace and he bets. You still fold the best hand. It also will lead to him losing the minimum and you losing the maximum more often. Playing passive poker is generally not as good as being aggressive unless you are trapping an aggressive player or drawing with correct equity against a station. You will have to hand read and make tons of difficult decisions and being new to live play your live reads likely will lead to some mistakes. Your line against this guy is better than flatting pre to x/c flop and then fold if he bets any over card. Another alternate line could be to limp / call pre (unless the pot is 3 bet) and x/r that flop as it's one of the best flops you can hope for short of hitting a 9 or flopping an over pair.
One last point on hand reading. It's not just what you do when you play live, it's how you do it. I suspect that when you jammed you may have showed some weakness or frustration. Maybe V calls anyway but if you confidently insta-4 bet jam he will have to at least consider folding ATo to a tight UTG player. If you are visibly uncomfortable however and showing some signs of tilt / frustration as you alluded to it makes his call much easier. This guy has folded JJ to the 4 bet so folding ATo to an UTG 4 bet jam should also be possible even for this short stack if you aren't giving off any signs of weakness. I wouldn't beat myself up about this hand. You got it in on a coin flip vs a wide range. Had he missed the river this hand probably has the effect of slowing down and narrowing his 3 bet range going forward since he knows you have a 4 bet range and it can be as light as 99. You are telling him, "I know you're 3 betting me light, so I'm going to 4 bet you light". With your larger stack now he will have to have a little more respect.
Man I miss live poker lol. Good luck on the next session.
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