I think you're right, Poker Orifice. But I struggle with the decision of whether poker is 'fun' for me, no matter what happens.
I do enjoy the idea of playing poker. But when I'm on a losing streak, and that's quite often, I'm stressed out. The stress is a lot better than it used to be, but still there. I have a very addictive personality. I want to be the best at anything I chose to do, which I'm sure everyone feels that way, but I take it to the extreme.
When I joined the military, I think I had played probably less than 10 "real" games of pool. By the end of my second year in the army, a friend and I had taken up the sport and his personality was the same as mine. Long story short... At the end of the two years I tried out for the All-Army Pool League. I took 2nd place out of over 450 tryouts! I could walk into a bar and bet someone I could beat them in pool with a broom handle and win every time. That's just the way I am. But even with pool, I struggled to find the game 'fun' because it wasn't really a game to me. It was almost a 'live or die' situation every game.
I know this is an unhealthy way of looking at things such as games or sports, but it's tough to not feel that way for me. With poker, it's a game that appeals to every square inch of my body. But unfortunately, it's also a game that includes a lot of math if you want to get really good at it. I sucks at teh math! Pool also has math, but I'm great with angles without having to actually deal with the math aspect of it... I just see them. In poker, you can't just see the math, so I struggle with that part of it.
I'm not saying you're wrong in any way, shape or form. I'm just saying that with a game such as poker, you are going to find different variations of 'fun'. And I think this is what the OP is trying to get at. He's trying to find a happy medium in us so that he can better structure his home games to appeal to the most players.