The Funny Things Bad Players Say

Playing $2/$4 last night at Rockingham Park (a good sized charity poker room in NH that recently started spreading NLH) I was seated to the left of a very friendly young latino man who wasn't actually half bad. I thought I recognized him from a low buy-in tournament I played there last year.

Me: Do you ever play tournaments?
Him: Not here, the Buy-ins are too low, I don't want to waste my luck.
Me: What do you mean?
Him: Tournaments require too much luck. If I'm going to use up my good luck I want it to be in a big tournament at Foxwoods. That's also why I only buy scratch tickets when they get up to like $400 Million.
Me: I know what you mean. A measly $10 Million hardly seems worth my while.

I had a guy yesterday on my right who talked nonstop for hours about complete rubbish. If he would fold preflop (rarely) then the flop would come like QJ6 he would wince and moan and whisper to me "oh man! I folded a 6!"

But my favorite thing he said was "I'd rather go runner runner than have the nuts on the flop. The nuts on the flop is never the nuts by the river"

slow players on the online this makes me very angry.

I had a similar situation, I then put Ollin 6-8 Cross and the flop was straight and ONT poshol into a bluff, and I took him for his stack)))

such comments brings a smile to any

"I'd rather have T9s than AA"

that's gotta be hard to fold Dakota that's for sure but for the original post i guess you had to be playing live not on the internet , i`m old also but either way when i play online or live i play for enjoyment, but winning ofcouse is always nice

benspocket said:

that's gotta be hard to fold Dakota that's for sure but for the original post i guess you had to be playing live not on the internet , i`m old also but either way when i play online or live i play for enjoyment, but winning ofcouse is always nice

Click to expand...

I'm primarily a live player so yes, by "At the table" I was referring to live. But there are no hard and fast rules here, if it's funny, post it.

Here's a real gem from a $1/$2 at Mohegan Sun last night.

I raised to $7 utg+2 with AJo. The woman to my left called as did 3 others in the field. The SB put the $7 in the pot and then said "Raise to $25". One of the callers complained that this was a string bet and the SB was forced to take back the raise. I'm thinking, "This guy has AA, KK, or AK".

The flop comes 862 with two diamonds. The SB bets $25 into 6 players. No way he does this with AK. It's AA or KK. I fold without hesitation. The woman to my left thinks for a bit and shows me 86s for top two AND THEN FOLDS! Another player chases a flush draw to the river and the SB collects a big pot with KK.

After the hand is over I ask why she did that and she replied.
"With my luck he'd have AK of diamonds and make his flush."

Slovakia!

I was playing a nice tourney in Bratislava two years ago and I was at the final table and got dealt jacks on the button, I went all-in and the BB snap called with aces.Flop:JA3 Turn:9 River:J, he just jumped from the chair and started hitting with his chair in the table for like 3 times and after he just said this is like when I play on 888poker)

Wien!

Another funny story from a tournament in Vienna, on the bubble I shoved for like three times and finally I got called from a guy who had KQ suite, I turned over 34 suited and made a straight flush on the turn, the guy asked me why on earth I would push with those cards?
I answered: I was stealing blinds and he just said, that is the only things that romanians know to do: steal)

IrinaNicole said:

Another funny story from a tournament in Vienna, on the bubble I shoved for like three times and finally I got called from a guy who had KQ suite, I turned over 34 suited and made a straight flush on the turn, the guy asked me why on earth I would push with those cards?
I answered: I was stealing blinds and he just said, that is the only things that romanians know to do: steal)

Click to expand...

Where do you play?

I dont understand why some players wish everybody else "gl" at the start of a tourney.

starting_at_the_bottom said:

I dont understand why some players wish everybody else "gl" at the start of a tourney.

Click to expand...

Huh. I've always thought they were saying it to themselves. So I started to join in because **** it, if they are wishing themselves luck I'll wish myself luck too. Then they say "TY" and I'll be all like "Bitch, that was for me. Not you."

The oddest thing about it is that you cannot actually wish everybody good luck. If everyone was getting lucky, no one would actually be getting lucky.

starting_at_the_bottom said:

I dont understand why some players wish everybody else "gl" at the start of a tourney.

Click to expand...

Probably stating the obvious here, but it's more of a sportsmanship thing than actually wishing luck to anyone. Same for when people say it when someone's all in.

Pretty much most of everything being posted by people in the topic titled, and I quote, "Easier to play against pro's than donkeys?!?!?!?!".

Scourrge said:

Probably stating the obvious here, but it's more of a sportsmanship thing than actually wishing luck to anyone. Same for when people say it when someone's all in.

Click to expand...

This. Exactly why I say GL.

almost had you!

This is one I heard yesterday, I had JJ and another guy 88, we went all-in and the flop came j89, the turn j and the river 8, and the guy wrote in the chat I almost had you))

I've heard this multiple times now.

Someone goes all-in short stacked with bad cards, or maybe 3rd pair. And says, "I had to go all-in. I was running out of chips."

lol That sounds to me like a good way to run Completely out of chips.

Play long enough and I assure you you will hear this at some point at every level you play if you play tournaments. After a horrible call...It's only a freeroll, or it's only $100 , or it's only a 1K buy-in not like we are playing a 5 or 10k. I laugh every time I hear some variation of "it's only"

YOU RUIN POKER

Hand #22 of SNG, UTG (15BB) all-in, MP (45BB) calls, BTN (25BB) re-shoves, MP calls. UTG JJ, MP A9s, BTN QQ. MP flops an Ace and holds for the double knock-out. BTN starts with, "come on", then says, in all caps, "YOU RUIN POKER", among other random claims. My hand history only caught the very beginning of their tirade, just before they were officially knocked out. MP went on to beat me, heads-up, after I got hasty with top-pair. Way to ruin poker.

"If I hadn't folded that J3 I would have had a full house!"

That one isn't so unreasonable. It just sounds like a true statement. That happens to everyone.

Hahahah very funny histories here.. hmmm but now I am wondering... I have possibly been one of those some time in my poker life...

=/!!

Not sure if this is good or bad but was playing a live free tournament. There was myself and villain (who happened to be my girlfriend) in the pot. I 3-barrel bluffed a straight and was all in. As villain starts to slide her cards in, one of the other guys at the table yells "he's bluffing!" She pulls her cards back and flips over 2 pair to take the pot and knock me out.

I seriously could have strangled the guy! Happily enough though she ended up busting him out and winning the tournament but I was pissed for days. Lol