Like I stated before, I've seen people gone to rock bottom b/c of drug abuse, gambling etc. But I just don't see the connection with poker. Maybe I'm heavily in denial, but I don't see what makes poker more addictive than for instance a PlayStation-game. When I don't have any money I play
freerolls.
Ok, I admit, I wait for a FreeRoll to start in the middle of the night because than the field is smaller so I have a better chance of making the cut and during the day I don't have time, but like now I got busted because I accidentally clicked call instead of fold with 63 off and got busted. I am really pissed at myself but I don't feel the need to spend money and give it another shot. I just tell myself I should shut down iTunes next time I fire up a game because apparently it's too distractive.
I really think poker is something else than regular gambling, because with a slot-machine, there is no skill involved. If it were the same as a pin-ball machine I could understand why people could get hooked to it, but now I really don't. I often go with a few of my friends to a casino and see them behind the roulette-table, and I'm the guy telling at them to cash out when they hit their number and keep the money with me until we're outside.
I used to spend money on
pokerstars, but I stopped doing it in 2012 when I was literally broke (not because of gambling, but rent, college money, cigarettes, groceries all on a part-time minimum wage job) and wanted to play. I used to be a real retard with money, not being a gambler doesn't mean you spend your money wisely, not by far, but I learned it the hard way.
Since I managed to build a BankRoll out of FR's (read my thread), I want to do it again, also because I know it's possible. It still stings me that I had to transfer my winnings to my bank-account in order to ****ing eat. Off course I want to win the big tournaments, but at the same time I'm realistic and have to realize that I'm not the same as those 19 year old SuperNova Elite's like Dominic Panka, who hit the scene and rolled up two major tournaments without any effort. If I could do that, I would've probably done it by now. Honestly, I have a ticket for a tournament which could land me a Sunday Million-seat. My biggest challenge in the SM would be playing my regular game among those high profile players in a tournament with such a big buy-in...
I don't really know what my point is here, but it's just that I really don't get what makes good Poker-players getting all obsessive about the game and lose everything. I talked to a friend who is such a talented player and told him about the Freerolls and he says he's too scared too play because he know's it's getting him hooked. Even if it's just a Freeroll! Off course I respect his decision and as a friend I should support him, but it's hard because I really don't get it.