P
PokerBerg
Rising Star
Bronze Level
Why are none of my online poker sites offering a tenured and permanent reload bonus? Their industry coined the phrase 'raking it in' (I think? Let's assume!) and all my math points to a recesion proof buisness model.
If my drunk friends are any example of other card playing, work-a-day goodboys, but late-nite degenerate-type fish, whose hopes of winning in a less virtual way drew dead 30 minutes ago at last call, the online poker room is a new beacon of hope that awaits them at home, plus, with out the risk of a third or fourth dui that the card clubs in SJC or near SFO offer.
If indeed they are an example of the late night online rounders, then many players will cash out once or never in the lifetime of their membership at any given site, and definatley not before their chat gets banned.
Again if my clique of Pac-10 grads, and other west coast party school drop outs are any sort of a marketing model, and i hope so for my own NLHE success, then two outta five of them wont even remember the early am moment when they demanded their winnings, and the check will delight them so much when it shows unannounced and at first presumed undeserved, about 10 biz-days after the night unrembered, but nonetheless in question, they will promptly celebrate by losing it at Bay 101 within hours of cashing said checks.
On the other hand one of those five remembered quite well; and so do I as i leaned over a couch to watch some online $25/50 NL action. I prefer it to the tv poker, which is just silly to me, i cant stand more than two mins before my cpu is fired up or I am headed north to Lucky Chances. That night I saw his bad luck from 2:15-3:00am, turn into worse streak of losing everything on the river, to the inevitable and rarely rewarding 23 mins (seemed like 5 tops) of tiltish rage and name calling sprinkled with a seldom used starategy I refer to as call-bluffing, which rarely works, but then suddenly ended with an all-in, last shot, gambling gods need asap, call with a 2-5 off against pocket ladies and pocket aces (and some other guy with a J-7???), both of whom hit on the flop, Q-A-2, leaving him walking towards his room. Curious as ever at the mulit-hundred dollar late night 'entertainment' my much wealthier friend enjoyed, i ran to jump in his still warm seat, and watched his running 2's squirt out as they can only on pokerstars! And as I rejoiced, "hey, you just got ur week's pay check back!", a $3400 pot!, I suddenly realized the guy with the aces, who had about an even stack with the dude with queens, but about $500 more than my buddy, was getting my paycheck for two-week's back
. As he returned down the hall, toothbrush in mouth, with an irritating and a way-too-skeptical-for-half-o-the-horsefeathers-seen-online frown, the joy I had originally felt for him started to fade. Slowly the jealousy crept in, and I remembered I hadn't seen that many chips since my nanna passed!
And dang it I am off the point.
My freakin point being, would it really be that bad of an idea to offer some sort of reload bonus to boys like me who are headed back to Safeway to reload their pre-paid gift cards at 4am????and this night for the third time since the bar closed...????
We are the last outta the 5, the guy who can remember cashing checks dozens of times, about 1/50th the number of times he walks or bikes to the checkoutstand, the only person in line with no items, save a visa prepaid he bought in Little mexico (which says Preferred Customer, in the name slot) and a fistful of cash!
We are the best possible scenario for the average e-poker joes, and we still offer a margin for corporate gains. We are the voice in deciding which site our group will donate to; and we want a lil reloading kickback!
Frankly it would make that embarrassing 'wait of shame'...(You know?? Well, hopefully not... You are in the checkout stand...4 in the morning...A pretty young house wife with some advil and milk behind you. And some cute if not frumpy college girls with magazines, redbull and Marlboro Lights on the converyer in front, and they turn around to a guy who looks pretty darn anxious to put some cash on his debit card and run home to his interent...Plus the sexually ambigous foreign check-out guy who just after asking for your phone number, tells you something altogether more embarrasing with his stare, "We dont have the internet in my country, shall I teach you?? ouch!!!!)...a lil more cheery, if not barely noticeable, and rarley remembered...
Which brings me to the question I pondered on the walk back tonite.
So please ladies and gentlemen of my favourite Pokerstars, and \ Full-Tilt, consider if you will, If my buddies and I cant remember our slice of after-hours reload love, did you really ever give it to us??? Thats what I thought.
Til the next time my bank roll is low enough that blablablaing is more fun than whatever else I do at this hour the night before a pretty close to 100% call-in-sick-day...Good night! If you wanna give pokerberg a piece of ur mind, or if ur a single gal in Palo Alto who want to go hustle the 3-6 table sometime soon and doesnt mind watching tv in this crappy apartment in a converted house in stanford-land (Lil-Baby-Jesus help me! How did this happen to old PokerBerg??) til I figure out how to convince the city to let me open up a card club, email me at five.ate@gmail.com
Yes its my favourite hand, but I only call it suited! 5-8!
At least thats what I remember.
If my drunk friends are any example of other card playing, work-a-day goodboys, but late-nite degenerate-type fish, whose hopes of winning in a less virtual way drew dead 30 minutes ago at last call, the online poker room is a new beacon of hope that awaits them at home, plus, with out the risk of a third or fourth dui that the card clubs in SJC or near SFO offer.
If indeed they are an example of the late night online rounders, then many players will cash out once or never in the lifetime of their membership at any given site, and definatley not before their chat gets banned.
Again if my clique of Pac-10 grads, and other west coast party school drop outs are any sort of a marketing model, and i hope so for my own NLHE success, then two outta five of them wont even remember the early am moment when they demanded their winnings, and the check will delight them so much when it shows unannounced and at first presumed undeserved, about 10 biz-days after the night unrembered, but nonetheless in question, they will promptly celebrate by losing it at Bay 101 within hours of cashing said checks.
On the other hand one of those five remembered quite well; and so do I as i leaned over a couch to watch some online $25/50 NL action. I prefer it to the tv poker, which is just silly to me, i cant stand more than two mins before my cpu is fired up or I am headed north to Lucky Chances. That night I saw his bad luck from 2:15-3:00am, turn into worse streak of losing everything on the river, to the inevitable and rarely rewarding 23 mins (seemed like 5 tops) of tiltish rage and name calling sprinkled with a seldom used starategy I refer to as call-bluffing, which rarely works, but then suddenly ended with an all-in, last shot, gambling gods need asap, call with a 2-5 off against pocket ladies and pocket aces (and some other guy with a J-7???), both of whom hit on the flop, Q-A-2, leaving him walking towards his room. Curious as ever at the mulit-hundred dollar late night 'entertainment' my much wealthier friend enjoyed, i ran to jump in his still warm seat, and watched his running 2's squirt out as they can only on pokerstars! And as I rejoiced, "hey, you just got ur week's pay check back!", a $3400 pot!, I suddenly realized the guy with the aces, who had about an even stack with the dude with queens, but about $500 more than my buddy, was getting my paycheck for two-week's back
. As he returned down the hall, toothbrush in mouth, with an irritating and a way-too-skeptical-for-half-o-the-horsefeathers-seen-online frown, the joy I had originally felt for him started to fade. Slowly the jealousy crept in, and I remembered I hadn't seen that many chips since my nanna passed!And dang it I am off the point.
My freakin point being, would it really be that bad of an idea to offer some sort of reload bonus to boys like me who are headed back to Safeway to reload their pre-paid gift cards at 4am????and this night for the third time since the bar closed...????
We are the last outta the 5, the guy who can remember cashing checks dozens of times, about 1/50th the number of times he walks or bikes to the checkoutstand, the only person in line with no items, save a visa prepaid he bought in Little mexico (which says Preferred Customer, in the name slot) and a fistful of cash!
We are the best possible scenario for the average e-poker joes, and we still offer a margin for corporate gains. We are the voice in deciding which site our group will donate to; and we want a lil reloading kickback!
Frankly it would make that embarrassing 'wait of shame'...(You know?? Well, hopefully not... You are in the checkout stand...4 in the morning...A pretty young house wife with some advil and milk behind you. And some cute if not frumpy college girls with magazines, redbull and Marlboro Lights on the converyer in front, and they turn around to a guy who looks pretty darn anxious to put some cash on his debit card and run home to his interent...Plus the sexually ambigous foreign check-out guy who just after asking for your phone number, tells you something altogether more embarrasing with his stare, "We dont have the internet in my country, shall I teach you?? ouch!!!!)...a lil more cheery, if not barely noticeable, and rarley remembered...
Which brings me to the question I pondered on the walk back tonite.
So please ladies and gentlemen of my favourite Pokerstars, and \ Full-Tilt, consider if you will, If my buddies and I cant remember our slice of after-hours reload love, did you really ever give it to us??? Thats what I thought.
Til the next time my bank roll is low enough that blablablaing is more fun than whatever else I do at this hour the night before a pretty close to 100% call-in-sick-day...Good night! If you wanna give pokerberg a piece of ur mind, or if ur a single gal in Palo Alto who want to go hustle the 3-6 table sometime soon and doesnt mind watching tv in this crappy apartment in a converted house in stanford-land (Lil-Baby-Jesus help me! How did this happen to old PokerBerg??) til I figure out how to convince the city to let me open up a card club, email me at five.ate@gmail.com
Yes its my favourite hand, but I only call it suited! 5-8!
At least thats what I remember.