It definitely sound like, you need to take a good long break from poker. But in top of that you are not really using this forum in a constructive way. You have a number of threads, that are basically just about letting out steam and letting us know, how badly it is going, like this one. But you have not posted a single hand history for review, like other forum members do.
Nor have you given information like which games, you play, what your sample size is, or what your results are. Do you own a tracker like PT4? If the answer is no, then why not? Apparently you have paid for expensive training courses, but these are not really important in the beginning of a poker career. They might even be harmfull, because they often teach advanced GTO concepts, that are important for high stakes games. But they are often not suitable for microstakes games, which should be the ones, you start out playing.