Too Much Poker?

[Boobear]

I think it's an addiction more than it is about the money.
He doesn't really talk about his game too much so im really in the dark. All u know if that he plays very single day/night now.. I barely see him.
The last straw was his staying at the casino instead of being with his mom on Mother's Day AND ditching his son to go to the casino.
I don't agree wih that at all. He only gets 3 hours per WEEK with his son so if he's going to the casino instead if being with him..than that's a big problem.

 

[TheNutz4You]

I hope it works out in the end for you both. Nobody wants to see a family break up over something like this. Try all you can one more time and if he is unwilling to do something about this, well you know the rest. I hope for you guys sake he wakes up and realizes what damage he is causing. Keepo us updated please. Good luck

 

[Boobear]

Thank You!!

 

[jfofla]

My fiancee has always played poker. He practically grew up in the casinos(his dad's got a gambli g addiction)..but ever since he chose to take an early retirement at the age of 51...he plays almost every day. House games all week long and then to the casinos on the weekend. Lately he'll lie about what he's up to and will go to the casino intead if seeing me..we live 2 hours away and have always spent every weekend together .
Now I'm lucky if I get to see him a few hours on a sat or Sunday and if we are together he's online playing.
His moods are starting to get out of control as well..im really getting worried. I don't know what to do.

Friend, there are places that deal with all kinds of vices and poker is one of them, try to find out and ask for help, because this vice can cause a person to do many nonsense.

 

[Boobear]

I have tried. I'm at the end if the road here. He won't get help and is bow making ME our to be the bad guy..The relationship is falling apart and I am helpless.

 

[Debi]

Don't keep trying - he has had enough chances from what you say. Move on with your life - if you marry him he will never change.

This goes beyond poker - if he is emotionally abusive now he will still be emotionally abusive in 10 years.

Get the hell away from him and don't look back. Find someone who truly cares about you and your feelings - he doesn't.

 

[Boobear]

He's had more than enough chances. And I won't be an afterthought. I can't allow him to treat me like this.

 

[ClickPoker]

They are in trouble, because when the game makes people lie in a relationship and prefer to play than to share with partners that they see once every 5 days, they need professional help. That is my recommendation and that you support it, because for it is not easy

 

[TheNutz4You]

Don't feel bad, I am the type of person to make excuses for someone, give them more chances than I probably should ect. But it comes to a point where you have said and done all you can to try and get through to someone.

Nobody wants to throw a relationship away over something that in there mind can be fixed, but from your reply's it doesn't seem he wants to fix things, and you continuing to hang around hoping for a miracle is not good for you and in all honesty likely not good for him. He is going to have to loose something important to him because of his gambling problem to wake the F up.

You deserve better and you know this. YOU did not fail at the relationship, he did. You didn't let gambling consume your life, HE did. He declines to accept help, you have done all you can.

 

[Boobear]

I agree. Too much time has been wasted . Time to move on.

 

[VizziVizo]

I think poker excites him very much, sometimes it is a good sign but not always. Have you tried to talk to him at first, before going for the advice to the forum?

 

[paulsmall007]

Yea u need to seek some professional help there. If he is that consumed, he could be loose with his bankroll and leave ya both broke and get to a point of no return and being retired he should probably slow down alil and find other hobbies ones that won't leave ya broke, or just find other venues to bond over

 

[Boobear]

I have talked to him recently because it was NEVER this bad.
He doesn't really act like it's an issue..but I've talked with his friends n even his poker buddy says he has a problem.
His love for poker and whatever feelings he gets out of it is obviously more than I can give him..and I've given a lot, given up a lot too.
I won't compete against his addiction if he has no desire to get help and fix it.
He is only remorseful after he gets upset with me when i get upset about his playing time (7 days a week 12-14 hrs day) and he senses that I have had enough n may leave.
It shouldn't have to come to that. I am tired of his emotional highs/lows..and making excuses for him..im just fooling myself..i won't lie to myself.anymore.

 

[Boobear]

Yea u need to seek some professional help there. If he is that consumed, he could be loose with his bankroll and leave ya both broke and get to a point of no return and being retired he should probably slow down alil and find other hobbies ones that won't leave ya broke, or just find other venues to bond over

He won't find other hobbies. Poker is it. He's gotten lazy and has gained about 10 to 15 LBS since he retired several months ago.
Poker/ gambling is in his blood/family. I shouldve seen the red flag when I first met his mom who was at home recuperating from breast cancer and his dad was at the casino for a few days.instead of taking care of his sick wife...smh😐

 

[TheNutz4You]

That is tough when it runs in the family. I can understand him wanting to do what he wants to do being retired he has earned that right, but when it effects your family and loved ones, then it has crossed a line that is hard come back from.

I hope that what ever you do, it works out for you in the long run.

 

[Boobear]

I agree..even though he looted to retire at 51 after working for 20 years.that's his choice. He also had the option to stay with a frozen pension and support his 6 year old child for the next 12 years ...he was against that .saying he put in his "time" to the "man: n would work at poker..all good....now look where he's at...not even 6 months later. Grinding it out every day and nt..losing time with the people who's should be MOST important in his life..his 6 yr old son n me..oh well....it is what it is. N I won't interfere anymore. I refuse to pick up the bad habits that he's pushing on t o me to. I have to let go for my sake and hs.I just worry about his son.;-((

 

[Boobear]

I agree

That is tough when it runs in the family. I can understand him wanting to do what he wants to do being retired he has earned that right, but when it effects your family and loved ones, then it has crossed a line that is hard come back from.

I hope that what ever you do, it works out for you in the long run.

I totally agree with you! He is retired. Waiting for this for r a while. And will.go on gull.dorve anuwjer..sa d's parx a.c. and now Vegas. Ok that's great..know that all.of his bisorayions withrb6 yr old will have to get dtxhed....m then ezpextz me.ro call out of work to fly down n meet him and his pppd at the roo. Whkooat I had a terrible experience Y1 not.hoo..lpbe from.him..noe sex moaffeztion..kist porker n cards n h! am nkyng..pj well

 

[Boobear]

Well I'll just let ya know the disr and ONLY time I went to play aww.sr

I totally agree with you! He is retired. Waiting for this for r a while. And will.go on gull.dorve anuwjer..sa d's parx a.c. and now Vegas. Ok that's great..know that all.of his bisorayions withrb6 yr old will have to get dtxhed....m then ezpextz me.ro call out of work to fly down n meet him and his pppd at the roo. Whkooat I had a terrible experience Y1 not.hoo..lpbe from.him..noe sex moaffeztion..kistl.rp ay.i was all e in ac..do o decided to .And drie.ds with so unch of nice feeli. Awe ate had. Tea to res a d o unearned M Y THINGS A OUT TBEIR CUMITE WA SO ESXITINX A D FUN!!°°° we enjoyed oirzel as rhpugjorhhlt.

 

[Kenzie 96]

I do love him...but he flat our told me he will never stop playing and that he knows he's addicted.

He's gotten 1000x worse since he took an early retirement. Now playing cards consumes him.. He was at the casino on Mother's day instead of being with his mom then ditched his son..not acceptable to me.

He's been emotionally abusive as well...time to get out. Ideally appreciate tour advice and feedback..i feel lost:-((

Emotional abuse on top of the rest of his behavior, get out before he gets physical, Maybe talk to his mother about how the two of you might keep an eye out for the child. Be nice if the kid could be protected.

 

[terryk]

I agree. Too much time has been wasted . Time to move on.

He says he loves you,but doesn`t show it.(talk is cheap)And a man who puts poker before his kids isn`t much of a man,,,you could close your eyes and throw a rock and hit a better man.Move on.:burnout:

 

[masik6]

ответ

This is a serious situation and together with it will be difficult to consult a specialist.

 

[Rational Madman]

My fiancee has always played poker. He practically grew up in the casinos(his dad's got a gambli g addiction)..but ever since he chose to take an early retirement at the age of 51...he plays almost every day. House games all week long and then to the casinos on the weekend. Lately he'll lie about what he's up to and will go to the casino intead if seeing me..we live 2 hours away and have always spent every weekend together .
Now I'm lucky if I get to see him a few hours on a sat or Sunday and if we are together he's online playing.
His moods are starting to get out of control as well..im really getting worried. I don't know what to do.

Ask to see marriage counselor together.

If disagrees, still can see therapist but this time alone to help handle the divorce.

I don't trust group therapy I think it's BS but one on one counseling it works for things like this. Communication is the key. Don't send him to group gambling therapy it is so stupid they will all make each other want to gamble again with their nostalgia of gambling.

 

[Shuler21]

Very interesting post . Thank you for iformation.

 

[Vilgeoforc]

Yes, it's an addiction. Poker is not being. In place of poker could be alcohol, drugs, whatever. Maybe he's running away from reality, from problems.
Can you change something? I doubt it. He acknowledges his addiction but he doesn't want to fight it. This is his outlet, a way to forget. Person can help if he needs it. Now your attempts will only cause irritation.