I think you may be reaching for something unobtainable here. I've found talent at all sites, but a lot of that talent misses particular games/tourneys.
I have a couple of games at different sites that are my favorites. Faves because I can regularly, almost predictably do well. They fit a style I like playing. And trust me, for the most part those will remain my secret! I enjoy taking money from strangers, and not so much taking money from forum mates.....WELL, ok, sorta!
Rather than seeking out a site that you think might be softer than others, I'd suggest you find the type of game you like to play because it fits in some comfort zone you have.
Also you might consider that if there were a consensus about one site being soft, the sharks would descend on that site immediately, and thus it would no longer be soft.
