So I made a decision and I thank everyone for their feedback. I apologize this post is crazy long!
I love poker, its fun, its entertaining, its a great game. I'll never turn down a chance to play live, but I'm realizing
online poker isn't the game I love...sure I like it, it's entertaining, it kills boredom, but its not the same as live poker. For years I've heard players talk about the fire and passion they have for
poker online, it's not there for me. Its always been a pattern of getting really really into it for a few weeks/months then either getting bored and blowing the roll or just leaving it for a while. Then I come back either for "fun" and blow some money for kicks or actually come back to give it another serious try...I end up getting bored and either blowing the money or just leaving it behind again. My interest seems to perk up from time to time but its always the same.
It's sad in a way to say these things because poker is one of my favorite games, but something is missing from online poker to me. I can't blame my procrastination or time wasted on online poker, although I've lost some days to it but its one thing I don't need in my life anymore. Something changes in me when I play online and I don't like it, I'll sit down to a live home game any day win or lose and have a blast...why isn't it that way online for me. Its a grind at times or just feels like its unproductive, even if I'm winning its nearly impossible to withdrawal smaller amounts anymore and US law is making it harder and harder.
I think poker players are some of the most intelligent people in the world, I've often applied poker skills to my work in psychology...but a lot of those skills are useless online. It just isn't fun anymore. I realize I can have as much fun playing a freeroll online as playing 100NL when I shouldnt and I only jump to those levels because of the money and boredom, not good.
I'm not quitting poker, but I think I'm quitting online poker. I'm not leaving ahead, I'm leaving at a loss but its time to close this chapter of my life and apply my focus to other things. Not to diss any poker players, but it just seems like at the end of the day I have nothing to show for online poker, sure some points, maybe even some cash, but what have I created,contributed, or done?
I'm a student and my part time work is freelance work...time spent away from freelance is less money in my pocket, I started to realize even if I rationed time for online poker, I could easily make more on my freelance work in that time than poker online at my current budget and stakes.
I ended up going into some Cake rooms and literally dumping most of my
bankroll to other players and was happy to see I dumped it to a good player or two. I have some rakeback coming which I'll likely give to a good friend (offline) as he has a passion for poker I'll never have.
I started online poker as "practice" for home games and live games, it briefly turned into an almost addiction, I grew up and it turned into a fun hobby then it turned into just a time suck and left me feeling like I could have spent the time relaxing without money on the line (movies, games) or working on projects and hobbies I've always put off.
I wish you all the best of luck and maybe one day I'll return to the virtual felt. I'll always defend players' rights to play poker online and do what I can to support the PPA. I'll continue to support my favorite pros and get some live games going when I can.
. I play stoned on Full Tilt all the time and make money. In fact I tend to lose more while not smoking due to tilt.
