If in life there was no entertainment, games, funny stories, then it would be completely gray, uninteresting! In Russia, they tell a lot of jokes about everything in the world - this is a short humor - anecdote.
About poker I have never heard ... Do they exist?
Can anyone know? Let's have some fun together!

two friends go out of the poker room one butt naked and the other in underwear, the naked taught the one with the underpants: I've always respected you for knowing when to stop

In a Midnigth Tournament, someone Yells: "All in", and The Lady next door, Yells back: I am ready anytime!

Did you hear about the blonde who brought a bag of french fries to the poker game?
Somebody told her to bring her own chips.

What did the giraffe say to the leopard at the poker table? Answer: I thought you were a cheetah.

I have to bookmark this posts, gonna look later for awesome jokes.

That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker,” the housewife told her neighbor. “You didn’t do it, did you?” “I have to admit I did — though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven’t done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!

"I stayed up one night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright

A woman walks into the living room and sees her brother playing poker with their dog.

A man comes home from his weekly poker game late. His annoying wife is waiting for him.

Originally Posted by krisi77

two friends go out of the poker room one butt naked and the other in underwear, the naked taught the one with the underpants: I've always respected you for knowing when to stop

Thank you for the good mood! I laughed so long! Even the jaw ached !!!

Of all the forum topics this will be my favorite topic! I didn't expect such funny poker jokes! Immediately the mood is much better! Still can not calm down - ha-ha!

A man enters a bar and sees at the bottom of the room a gaming table. This is a game of poker that is held there. There are six players among which, a dog, a real dog. Intrigued, the man looks at the game and realizes that the players are acting as if nothing had happened. The dog holds his place, plays, raises, 3Bet sometimes. He advances the chips when necessary. Surprised all the same by the situation, he approaches the table a little more and between two hands asks one of the players: "I can not believe that a dog can play poker! He must be the smartest dog in the world! wow! The player turns discretely with a slight grin and slips: "He must not be the smartest. Every time he has a good hand, he moves his tail. "

Originally Posted by pescaofish

In a Midnigth Tournament, someone Yells: "All in", and The Lady next door, Yells back: I am ready anytime!

Excellent, You have no idea how much it made me laugh, something happened to a friend hahaha

Is it true that you won the car in the lottery? - True. Just not a car, but an apartment. And not in the lottery, but in poker. And did not win, but lost.

Mom, I played poker yesterday and now I'm moving out of your apartment. - Good news, congratulations! - Thank. You move out too.

In a Midnigth Tournament, someone Yells: "All in", and The Lady next door, Yells back: I am ready anytime!

Originally Posted by EVA777

If in life there was no entertainment, games, funny stories, then it would be completely gray, uninteresting! In Russia, they tell a lot of jokes about everything in the world - this is a short humor - anecdote.
About poker I have never heard ... Do they exist?
Can anyone know? Let's have some fun together!

Have severe Chelyabinsk poker players there are only 2 buttons ! All-in and fold !

Originally Posted by EVA777

I laughed so long! Even the jaw ached !

from what joke your jaw found earth? You were born in the cabbage or in the Shuttle of a kangaroo?

How do you recognize a leper who has lost a poker game?
when He lost the hand ...

You told me you know how to play poker! - I was bluffing.

Originally Posted by Bambini7777

You told me you know how to play poker! - I was bluffing.

Cool ! We all think we can play poker !!!

Originally Posted by tauri103

A man enters a bar and sees at the bottom of the room a gaming table. This is a game of poker that is held there. There are six players among which, a dog, a real dog. Intrigued, the man looks at the game and realizes that the players are acting as if nothing had happened. The dog holds his place, plays, raises, 3Bet sometimes. He advances the chips when necessary. Surprised all the same by the situation, he approaches the table a little more and between two hands asks one of the players: "I can not believe that a dog can play poker! He must be the smartest dog in the world! wow! The player turns discretely with a slight grin and slips: "He must not be the smartest. Every time he has a good hand, he moves his tail. "

I would like to have such rivals with a tail in today's tournament!

Originally Posted by wlad20082009

Have severe Chelyabinsk poker players there are only 2 buttons ! All-in and fold !

The main thing is not to think!

Joke #2: You Know You're Running Bad When...

• The guy next to you keeps telling you where the ATM is
• You order a cheese sandwich at $1.10, and by the time the waitress brings it, you can't pay for it.
• When you start cussing out someone for calling your pre-flop raise with JQ (suited)
• The only things you say all night are ‘Nice hand’, ‘Well played’ and ‘Chips’!
• The nice little old lady with the big pile of (your) chips in front of her inquires if you play here often.

Originally Posted by Tony Vayer

from what joke your jaw found earth? You were born in the cabbage or in the Shuttle of a kangaroo?

He did not reach the ground - the jaw is real, not artificial ...
It’s a pity, but we don’t have kangaroos ... But cabbage is growing ... In Russia they say that AISTES "bring" children!

Here in Brazil we say that the poker table is where the child cries and the mother does not see.

Yes, of course there are, I just lose a lot of money and my mood goes from white to a menacing black, our mood usually changes as we get gold coins, that's a fact.

hahaha. great thread!

Two are playing poker. “I won,” says one of the partners. - I have four aces. “No, I won,” objects the other. - I have two dozen and ... six cartridges in the colt.

A cowboy walks into a bar, and there are three men and a dog sitting at a table
and play poker.
- Well, smart dog! - says the cowboy.
One of the players:
- No, not bad, when she has a good card, she’s wagging her tail.

Originally Posted by Bambini7777

Two are playing poker. “I won,” says one of the partners. - I have four aces. “No, I won,” objects the other. - I have two dozen and ... six cartridges in the colt.

:r idinghor
cowboy victory ...

They say you taught your wife to play poker? - And I do not regret it. For example, the day before yesterday I won her half of my salary.

- Is it true that you won the car in the lottery? - True. Just not a car, but an apartment. And not in the lottery, but in poker. And did not win, but lost.

The bride and groom discuss their future life together. - Promise me, honey, that you will refuse poker. - Yes, love. - And from smoking. - Yes, my pussy. - And from the beer. - It's all? - And what else do you think to give up? - From marriage.

Good exercise before the CC freeroll - I go to this forum topic and ... ha ha ha !!!

Never show the card tricks of the company with which you are going to play poker.

I do not know if I take poker but the only thing is that when I'm not playing poker I'm in a bad mood

Liquor in the front.

Poker in the rear.

Originally Posted by Gr34tWh1t3

That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker,” the housewife told her neighbor. “You didn’t do it, did you?” “I have to admit I did — though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven’t done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!

hahahaha great hahahaha when he finds out they already own the house.

What did the giraffe say to the tiger at the poker table?
I thought you were a cheetah

There is a poker game. The young son of the owner of the house comes up to the table and, looking at his father’s cards, says:
- Two aces look good.
Partners instantly fold their cards. A son:
- It is a pity, Dad, that you do not have them.

Blondie Plays Poker Did ya hear about the blonde who brought a bag of frozen?
french fries to a poker game?
Someone told her to bring her own chips.

Originally Posted by Bambini7777

There is a poker game. The young son of the owner of the house comes up to the table and, looking at his father’s cards, says:
- Two aces look good.
Partners instantly fold their cards. A son:
- It is a pity, Dad, that you do not have them.

:stup ido:

Originally Posted by Bambini7777

There is a poker game. The young son of the owner of the house comes up to the table and, looking at his father’s cards, says:
- Two aces look good.
Partners instantly fold their cards. A son:
- It is a pity, Dad, that you do not have them.

What do sex with poker have in common?
- If you do not have a good partner - then there should be a happy hand.

Originally Posted by Bambini7777

What do sex with poker have in common?
- If you do not have a good partner - then there should be a happy hand.

Ha ha ha! Where did you get these jokes? Because of this theme, I can't play in CC freerolls! I laugh more than I think ...

and one my own joke
is there a hand in which you would fold with pleasure, a professional poker player is asked and he says - hypothetically there is if I bet my mother-in-law first

These are not jokes but some funny/clever quotes.

Poker is a combination of luck and skill. People think mastering the skill part is hard, but they’re wrong. The trick to poker is mastering the luck. - Jesse May

In the long run there’s no luck in poker, but the short run is longer than most people know. - Rick Bennet

If you play bridge badly you make your partner suffer, but if you play poker badly you make everybody happy. - Joe Laurie Jr

Originally Posted by EVA777

Ha ha ha! Where did you get these jokes? Because of this theme, I can't play in CC freerolls! I laugh more than I think ...

I read on the forums ,The game of poker was delayed until the morning.
- Yes, you finally stop these games in our house? - raged wife.
“Sorry, dear,” her husband reassures, “but this house is no longer ours.”