2009
-Started playing
poker online.
-Found an joined CC, by far my Fav Forum! and best for sure!
-Built a BR to lose it everytime...no brm skills yet
or self control...
-Made a couple Final Tables at micros Mtt's. 2x @ .10 rebuy on FTP
and Final Table in Check Raising the Devil freeroll for a BOOK!!
-Cashed in 2 of the FTOPS events!!!
-Used trials of HEM & PT3, but no purchase yet.
-Bought HoH cash games vol1 and read half of it, then reread it and understood alot more the second time aorund!..hehe
-Send letters throuh PPA to congress and state, and joined PPA of course.
***By Far my Greatest Achievement of 2009 has nothing to do with poker...
I saved my own life in January 2009. Ever since I was 16 I started hanging with the"wrong crowd" and lived everyday like a party. I let my life got out of control with addictions, and I was on the path of becoming a career criminal and in and out of jail since I was 18. My eighteenth birthday present was a month in jail from the judge, and after that I went back to jail multipe times that year, spending more than 1/2 of my first year as a legal adult caged like the animal I was. Let me tell you one thing, when they say once your in the system you'll never get out..... well thats true, cuz I was on probation from age 16-21, and not just for 1 case, but after the first I had many, I acctually had 7 open cases with 1 probation officer at one point... It seemed that I would never get off probation. Since I couldn't smoke weed because of drug tests, I started doing the harder drugs more and more, as those get out of your system much faster than marijuana.. which can take a whole month if you smoke everyday. I realized heroin and cocain only take a few days to get out of your system... so being the addict/self medicator that I am it seemed the only drugs I could do were those if I wanted to be able to pass a drug test... HORRIBLE decision, as I now know. So I acctually never was clean, and eventually ordered a whizzinator(fake male genetalia that urinates clean pee for you) so I could smoke weed also and get away with it. So I ducked and dodged my way off probation eventually by moving to another state, as Virginia doesnt transfer probation to other states, so they released me off supervised probation, and was just on unsupervised meaning that if I didn't get in trouble for 2 years than my suspended jail time would just go away. Well I ened up moving around alot, thinking I will not be able to get any drugs in a new town since I didn't know anyone, so I will stay clean. So I would move and stay clean for a month, and then eventually fall right back into my addictions, whether alcohol, cocain, heroin, pills... I always seemed to be abusing 1, and eventually it would lead to the mixture of all of them together. So in 2008 I had moved back to Virginia again, Richmond Virginia. I had been living on the road preiously following music festivals and concerts around the coutry on and off, and It was about to be winter so I found a way to get a hotel room weekly. Well the hotel/motel had half of it shut down because of a mass murder, where a guy shot his family over drugs. As you can imagine, this hotel was probably not the best place for me, as anything and everything I could abuse was readily available to me, and the best quality of heroin I had ever found, and pretty cheap too, was dealt from the next room over... So once again I went on a binge, and before I realized it I was worse than I had ever been, not being able to function, or even get out of bed without my fix, AND getting my fix did not get me high anymore, it would only keep me from getting sick, and make me feel normal. I didn't even realize it was hapenening again, until it was too late. So I was in a downward spiral, and probably reached the lowest point in my life. My daily routine became waking up, going to Best Buy or a variety of other department stores, and would steal XBOX PS3 & WI games, then going to game stop or a pawn shop and reselling them for 10-20$. I acctually got caught in Best Buy, and somehow didnt go to jail, but had to go to court at a later date. This was just before christmas of 2008. I realized that if I don't stop I am going to end up in jail, or 6 feet under, and I did not want that. AND my girlfriend was along with me, and had become a addict as well, and she had never tried drugs before she met me. I felt horrible for that, and knew I had to straighten my life out, to save my relationship with her, and my family who had pretty much let me go, because I had never accepted any help from them in the past, or had and ended up just using my family. I would pretty much tell them what they wanted to hear, to get em off my back, and to get money from them.
So I finally admitted to my mother that I had been using heroin, and I realy want help. THIS IS SOMETHING I HAD NEVER DONE... I had always pretended like I wanted help, but in the back of my mind always had plans to use again. So January 22nd I had an appointment with a Suboxone doctor. Suboxone is a fairly new drug, which pretty much eliminates withdrawl symptoms, so you can live life without the monkey on your back for a while. It's like methadone, but doesnt get you high, or at least doesnt get me high. I believe if you were not a opiod addict than yes it would get you high. So since Jan 22nd of 2009 I have been on the suboxone. Yes I did relapse at first, thinking oh maybe I can get high sometimes, and use the suboxone when I wanna stop or take a break, and I won't get sick. Well that definitly doesn't work like that, and when I did relapse, it was no fun and made me feel like an idiot because I had ruined all the clean time that I had achieved, and did not even feel good when I got high. Well I have been clean since that last relapse. Yes I do smoke marijuana, and my suboxone doctor is aware, thats another hurdle I will cross eventually, but not the biggest of my problems.
So my greatest goal that I achieved in 2009 was finally getting off all the hard drugs I had been abusing, and starting to get my life back on track. My sister and I have become friends again, my mother and I have a better relationship, and my father still doesn't understand, and probably never will, but thats because he has never been involved in my life except for the occasional weekend hunting trip, yes my parents are married still...but thats another story for another day...
2010
-I want to play in more CC events.
-I want to work on my cash game skills, and plan to focus on those alot.
-Follow my BRM, an try to keep a nice BR.
-Buy HoH cash games vol 2, and finish reading it.
-Also probably buy HoH tourney series also. And work on mtt's later in the year, also the Sit N Go book by Colin, and work on sng's eventually also.
-Buy HEM, or PT3.
-Work on getting a BR on stars as well as keeping one on ftp.
-STAY CLEAN! and go back to college and finish where I left off!
