Does anyone else suffer from mtt jealousy?

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ph_il

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This is probably going to sound silly, but I suffer from mtt jealousy. More specifically, I get jealous of those that play similar stakes and have made big scores with their mtt win(s). Of course, it doesn't make sense to get jealous of someone winning big in a $100+ buy-in mtt when I play mostly $5 buy-in mtts and lower.

But still, sometimes I'll see a post about a huge score someone won. Or I'll just happen to look at the 'record of little wins' section and get those jealous feelings. I am not jealous of the scores that players have made with their big mtt wins. I'm jealous they got there, that they accomplished something I want to and have wanted to for the longest time.

I understand we can't all be big winners in poker. That's fine. I know I'm not a great player and that's cool. I know I'm decent enough to make it deep in mtts, both small and large fields. I've done it many times and proven it to myself that I can do it. I've made my fair share of final tables and won my fair share of mtts over the years, but it just isn't enough for me anymore. They've all been small mtt scores. Nothing worth sharing or to feel proud about.

In the end, I'm seeking self validation. I want to prove to myself that I'm good enough to accomplish my goal of one big mtt score. It's not going to change my life or won't be the biggest, but I just want the years of playing and improving to feel like it was worth it. I just want to feel accomplished and proud of myself because I don't feel that way. I feel...worthless (best word I could think of), not only as a player but as a member of cc. I don't feel like I belong because I haven't proven myself to be good enough to be amongst the members here. I doubt anyone else views me in that way but, if you do, you're right to do so. Maybe I just need to prove it to myself and no one else but, until that happens, this is how I feel.

I feel like something has to give soon. Either I give up my goal of a big score and just accept I'm not good enough, that I'll always be 'worthless'. That I should just be content with my small mtt wins. Find joy in quantity, not quality. Or, by some miracle, it happens, and I hit my goal. In over 10 years of online mtts, I don't have much confidence in myself or that I'll ever reach my goal.

I think it's best I step away from cc until I can prove myself to myself, or until I can accept that I'll never accomplish my goal because all I feel is jealousy and unaccomplished on here and I know that's all on me. I won't be stepping away from poker, just from here because I don't feel worthy enough to be a member here anymore. I don't have the confidence in myself anymore, so how can I feel confident as a member that wants to give advice and help others to reach their goals? I can't.
 
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SpanRmonka

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This is probably going to sound silly, but I suffer from mtt jealousy. More specifically, I get jealous of those that play similar stakes and have made big scores with their mtt win(s). Of course, it doesn't make sense to get jealous of someone winning big in a $100+ buy-in mtt when I play mostly $5 buy-in mtts and lower.

But still, sometimes I'll see a post about a huge score someone won. Or I'll just happen to look at the 'record of little wins' section and get those jealous feelings. I am not jealous of the scores that players have made with their big mtt wins. I'm jealous they got there, that they accomplished something I want to and have wanted to for the longest time.

I understand we can't all be big winners in poker. That's fine. I know I'm not a great player and that's cool. I know I'm decent enough to make it deep in mtts, both small and large fields. I've done it many times and proven it to myself that I can do it. I've made my fair share of final tables and won my fair share of mtts over the years, but it just isn't enough for me anymore. They've all been small mtt scores. Nothing worth sharing or to feel proud about.

In the end, I'm seeking self validation. I want to prove to myself that I'm good enough to accomplish my goal of one big mtt score. It's not going to change my life or won't be the biggest, but I just want the years of playing and improving to feel like it was worth it. I just want to feel accomplished and proud of myself because I don't feel that way. I feel...worthless (best word I could think of), not only as a player but as a member of cc. I don't feel like I belong because I haven't proven myself to be good enough to be amongst the members here. I doubt anyone else views me in that way but, if you do, you're right to do so. Maybe I just need to prove it to myself and no one else but, until that happens, this is how I feel.

I feel like something has to give soon. Either I give up my goal of a big score and just accept I'm not good enough, that I'll always be 'worthless'. That I should just be content with my small mtt wins. Find joy in quantity, not quality. Or, by some miracle, it happens, and I hit my goal. In over 10 years of online mtts, I don't have much confidence in myself or that I'll ever reach my goal.

I think it's best I step away from cc until I can prove myself to myself, or until I can accept that I'll never accomplish my goal because all I feel is jealousy and unaccomplished on here and I know that's all on me. I won't be stepping away from poker, just from here because I don't feel worthy enough to be a member here anymore. I don't have the confidence in myself anymore, so how can I feel confident as a member that wants to give advice and help others to reach their goals? I can't.

Not nice feelings to have and I would like to offer some support if you don't mind. Firstly you are definitely not worthless!

You've been on CC since 2005, I don't when CC started, but it seems to me your contributions over that time have played a significant part in helping it be the success it is. This allows new members like me to find CC and enjoy it and benefit from it. So thank you for that!

It seems like you're hitting that feeling a lot of people get from social media type situations, where people tend to put out the good things in their life, and you don't see the rest. Hopefully all the peeps on here with great wins got great validation from their win, but we don't know, they could have just lost it all on blackjack or whatever! Its a just a snapshot of life.

I don't really give much poker advice on here, because to be honest there are way better players than me, who have more knowledge and better results/performances.
One thing I do well is bank roll mgt, so I have started staking some people a bit! They are better players than me for sure, but for reasons that don't matter maybe don't have the bankroll! Maybe you could look for a niche in poker or CC. League Captain, staking, advising new people on finding their way around the forum?

If you feel you need to step away from CC then you should, just like I think its healthy to step away from anything that you identify as unhelpful at a certain time in life. If you do then I hope you come back.

The fact you can write this kind of post with such openness and honesty is something to be proud of too. I applaud it. It does not sound silly to me, it sounds brave and bold and honest!

Good luck, take care of yourself, and if you are feeling like this in general too then please look into getting some help. We all need it sometimes. :)
 
mina271

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Not nice feelings to have and I would like to offer some support if you don't mind. Firstly you are definitely not worthless!

You've been on CC since 2005, I don't when CC started, but it seems to me your contributions over that time have played a significant part in helping it be the success it is. This allows new members like me to find CC and enjoy it and benefit from it. So thank you for that!

It seems like you're hitting that feeling a lot of people get from social media type situations, where people tend to put out the good things in their life, and you don't see the rest. Hopefully all the peeps on here with great wins got great validation from their win, but we don't know, they could have just lost it all on blackjack or whatever! Its a just a snapshot of life.

I don't really give much poker advice on here, because to be honest there are way better players than me, who have more knowledge and better results/performances.
One thing I do well is bank roll mgt, so I have started staking some people a bit! They are better players than me for sure, but for reasons that don't matter maybe don't have the bankroll! Maybe you could look for a niche in poker or CC. League Captain, staking, advising new people on finding their way around the forum?

If you feel you need to step away from CC then you should, just like I think its healthy to step away from anything that you identify as unhelpful at a certain time in life. If you do then I hope you come back.

The fact you can write this kind of post with such openness and honesty is something to be proud of too. I applaud it. It does not sound silly to me, it sounds brave and bold and honest!

Good luck, take care of yourself, and if you are feeling like this in general too then please look into getting some help. We all need it sometimes. :)


I totally agree you are by no means worthless. But ask yourself why you think this. Just because others post that they have won more? I don't think that this is the reason, you said that you are also successful in smaller tournaments so you know exactly what you are doing when you are at poker. It is always good to aim and I wish you from the bottom of my heart that you achieve your goals, but to say that you are worthless because you have not yet achieved them is not right in my eyes. You have already achieved a lot and you will achieve even more but be patient with yourself. And if you can help someone to achieve their goals in poker? Well you can share your poker experience with others and there are loads of people here who do that and sometimes there are good tips and sometimes maybe less good ones, but all in all we are here to help each other. And people like you are needed here even if you don't see it that way. But of course now it's about you and your feelings and you should really ask yourself if there is not a little depression behind if you feel this feeling of being worthless in other things as well. But no matter what it is in the end, you should know that something will end again. I wish that you will soon feel better again
 
Zvezda kz

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Just like you, I have also reached the poker crisis. I don't feel like I can make money playing poker. I could not win any major tournament for 100+ thousand dollars. And the saddest thing is that I have no desire to continue playing poker. I am disappointed. Do not think that I am a negative player, but I am not in the big plus (my biggest win is 3400+ dollars) and this is at micro limits.
And I wish you to win a big tournament and a lot of money. When I watched an interview with one successful poker player who had an average of 15+ thousand dollars a month, and he complained that he did not have large deposits of 1 million + dollars. After this interview, he won several tournaments, with a total winnings of about 2 million
 
sharipov8090

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Dear friend-your experience and advice will always be useful.The more opinions I hear from people, regardless of whether they are a good player or an average level, the faster I will understand the essence of what is happening in the game.Poker is a game that has not yet been studied and makes you study its thresholds more and more deeply.Live and learn forever.And stop blaming yourself-everything will be fine!
 
MishkaZL

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I just try to enjoy the game and that's why I always feel only positive emotions. Poker gives me pleasure and that's the main thing for me.
 
hugh blair

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This is probably going to sound silly, but I suffer from mtt jealousy. More specifically, I get jealous of those that play similar stakes and have made big scores with their mtt win(s). Of course, it doesn't make sense to get jealous of someone winning big in a $100+ buy-in mtt when I play mostly $5 buy-in mtts and lower.

But still, sometimes I'll see a post about a huge score someone won. Or I'll just happen to look at the 'record of little wins' section and get those jealous feelings. I am not jealous of the scores that players have made with their big mtt wins. I'm jealous they got there, that they accomplished something I want to and have wanted to for the longest time.

I understand we can't all be big winners in poker. That's fine. I know I'm not a great player and that's cool. I know I'm decent enough to make it deep in mtts, both small and large fields. I've done it many times and proven it to myself that I can do it. I've made my fair share of final tables and won my fair share of mtts over the years, but it just isn't enough for me anymore. They've all been small mtt scores. Nothing worth sharing or to feel proud about.

In the end, I'm seeking self validation. I want to prove to myself that I'm good enough to accomplish my goal of one big mtt score. It's not going to change my life or won't be the biggest, but I just want the years of playing and improving to feel like it was worth it. I just want to feel accomplished and proud of myself because I don't feel that way. I feel...worthless (best word I could think of), not only as a player but as a member of cc. I don't feel like I belong because I haven't proven myself to be good enough to be amongst the members here. I doubt anyone else views me in that way but, if you do, you're right to do so. Maybe I just need to prove it to myself and no one else but, until that happens, this is how I feel.

I feel like something has to give soon. Either I give up my goal of a big score and just accept I'm not good enough, that I'll always be 'worthless'. That I should just be content with my small mtt wins. Find joy in quantity, not quality. Or, by some miracle, it happens, and I hit my goal. In over 10 years of online mtts, I don't have much confidence in myself or that I'll ever reach my goal.

I think it's best I step away from cc until I can prove myself to myself, or until I can accept that I'll never accomplish my goal because all I feel is jealousy and unaccomplished on here and I know that's all on me. I won't be stepping away from poker, just from here because I don't feel worthy enough to be a member here anymore. I don't have the confidence in myself anymore, so how can I feel confident as a member that wants to give advice and help others to reach their goals? I can't.


Interesting thread ohshootmybad will try to answer it for you honestly at times my own confidence is torn apart by losses and variance and my poor play at times.
Yes a little jealousy at times I suppose if honest of the guys who can play high stakes $1000 buy ins and higher regularly as have been trying for over a decade to get from midstakes to high stakes where the 1k buy in is no sweat if lose 100 of them.:eek:
But while I have final tabled and won more 4 and 5 digit scores in $100-$215 buy in games playing the odd $500-$1000 shot too than I can genuinely remember over the years a 6 digit score to try high stakes seriously if using some type of BRM is very elusive and very easy to lose a lot of money instead after paying all those buy ins for tournaments that we fail to cash in even if final table regularly.
What you describe really is ambition versus reality ambition is good to have a serious goal in my opinion but the reality is after paying thousands of $9 rakes fees in the $100 games and variance and downswings the ambition then appears delusional causing frustration.

While many players like to post their big wins very few players like to post their whopping losses too giving a true reflection of the overall cost of buy ins and rake over a long period years or a decade for example worth of buy ins chew up their wins probably leaving most of these big winners barely ahead or at a loss even.
While they do exist players that win millions of dollars worth of pure profit and live the poker dream in their lifetime they are very rare.
So you are not alone with these thoughts everybody tries to improve themselves but can get disappointed by setbacks you are far from worthless seriously it is only natural to think these type of things I reckon.
Remember in poker anything can happen last years big winner can easily be this years big loser or vice versa last years big loser can be this years big winner.:)
 
MAGICUZ

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Here is nothing wrong with that. People tend to be envious and jealous,someone she is white, and someone has black envy.In our life, someone is given something, but someone is not.So you should be happy with what you have
 
AKQ

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How bad do you want a 1st place?

What would you do for a 1st place ?

What makes you better than them?

I run stake threads
to teach others how to dominate any stake
better get on the train while i'm here
seeya on the rail btw it gets messy sometimes
2670613613947184627eb9464475fdc1.png

 
AKQ

AKQ

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wanna see real pen&$ envy
after seeing this

those record of little wins threads will loook won't look so bad
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816872f511a513450f5e0b5c3d5f26a7.png
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D

dengamingdash

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This is probably going to sound silly, but I suffer from mtt jealousy. More specifically, I get jealous of those that play similar stakes and have made big scores with their mtt win(s). Of course, it doesn't make sense to get jealous of someone winning big in a $100+ buy-in mtt when I play mostly $5 buy-in mtts and lower.

But still, sometimes I'll see a post about a huge score someone won. Or I'll just happen to look at the 'record of little wins' section and get those jealous feelings. I am not jealous of the scores that players have made with their big mtt wins. I'm jealous they got there, that they accomplished something I want to and have wanted to for the longest time.

I understand we can't all be big winners in poker. That's fine. I know I'm not a great player and that's cool. I know I'm decent enough to make it deep in mtts, both small and large fields. I've done it many times and proven it to myself that I can do it. I've made my fair share of final tables and won my fair share of mtts over the years, but it just isn't enough for me anymore. They've all been small mtt scores. Nothing worth sharing or to feel proud about.

In the end, I'm seeking self validation. I want to prove to myself that I'm good enough to accomplish my goal of one big mtt score. It's not going to change my life or won't be the biggest, but I just want the years of playing and improving to feel like it was worth it. I just want to feel accomplished and proud of myself because I don't feel that way. I feel...worthless (best word I could think of), not only as a player but as a member of cc. I don't feel like I belong because I haven't proven myself to be good enough to be amongst the members here. I doubt anyone else views me in that way but, if you do, you're right to do so. Maybe I just need to prove it to myself and no one else but, until that happens, this is how I feel.

I feel like something has to give soon. Either I give up my goal of a big score and just accept I'm not good enough, that I'll always be 'worthless'. That I should just be content with my small mtt wins. Find joy in quantity, not quality. Or, by some miracle, it happens, and I hit my goal. In over 10 years of online mtts, I don't have much confidence in myself or that I'll ever reach my goal.

I think it's best I step away from cc until I can prove myself to myself, or until I can accept that I'll never accomplish my goal because all I feel is jealousy and unaccomplished on here and I know that's all on me. I won't be stepping away from poker, just from here because I don't feel worthy enough to be a member here anymore. I don't have the confidence in myself anymore, so how can I feel confident as a member that wants to give advice and help others to reach their goals? I can't.

I honestly don't think that you should be jealous of people who get 1st place in a tournament. In fact, you don't always have to be in the 1st place to be more profitable and successful in poker than them. They might get that 1st place but then go on a losing streak. You can, however, have fewer 1st places, but have more consistent poker with more ITM runs.
:)
 
AKQ

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go buy phill helmuths guide to limit poker
and make it your bible
b07c162f929fc8655a1885fba175df70.png

then get /Gus Hansens Aussie millions
a5acb8c7b857a383855972e903fd3cbf.png
 
AKQ

AKQ

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I honestly don't think that you should be jealous of people who get 1st place in a tournament. In fact, you don't always have to be in the 1st place to be more profitable and successful in poker than them. They might get that 1st place but then go on a losing streak. You can, however, have fewer 1st places, but have more consistent poker with more ITM runs.
:)
if you get 1sts you can go on losing streaks and be very profitable
you CANNOT go on losing streaks and be a min casher and be profitable
 
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