Winning and Losing against my CC Family

At this point I’m only playing CC games exclusively and planning on only large prize pool mtt’s in addition to. Tonight I got knocked out fairly quickly in the BO and ACT tournaments and I didn’t feel bad. I’ve gotten to know so many people here, and even the folks I banged heads with I feel I mended those fences, so I have no rivalries and I’m conflicted post game when I do well against my CC brothers and sisters. I’m not tearing out cashes like crazy, but I am doing ok, and getting better.

For me the game is war, one man army mentality. Vicious, ballsy, heart racing action in between short and long bouts of folds. Now, I feel the same whether I win, cash or lose against members here. I want to win all the way through the game but my feelings are conflicted post game the better I do. Is that a problem, normal, even if I realize that my fellow CC members want to beat me?