Hitting Rock Bottom

Hi, I'm a pretty young player who's been winning his live games with friends, family and other associates. However for some reason no matter what I do I feel awful. Last week I won 60 dollars and physically couldnt sleep that night because I felt I could have played better. Playing Texas holdem 2 months ago I won 160 dollars and was pissed at myself for not winning more. When I lose I feel like I'm the worst player on earth and when I win I feel like I'm just a bad player who got lucky. I love the game but I feel like lately it's ruining my mental health. As I write this i just lost a 4 player Texas holdem game and feel sick to my stomach. Any advice is really appreciated.

man, i never feel that way, don't feel bad for yourself, it's a game, what is important is you, do your best in that moment (mtt or cash game) and don't overthink so much in the little mistakes, you say you are young, rock bottom why?
is can be external problem, this can't be only on poker, you say you even win, i hope you stay good, others members will message you to, any problem talk you someone to your family

I'm results-oriented and the opposite.

When I fold a hand like 62o and see the flop 345 I'm ok with that.

But short stacked at the final table having J9s with 1 or 2 other short stacked players behind me going all in and folding only to see a JJ9 flop is pretty tilting to me.

This usually leads to me playing the next J9 o/s or Q8 o and losing my entire stack barely at the cutoff of cashing out.

Speaking as someone in the mental health field, I’m guessing that these problems you are experiencing goes beyond poker and what happens in poker is likely symptomatic of other issues. The inner critic is strong in you - i would suggest that you look to see if this is happening in other areas of your life and get it addressed ASAP. Don’t try to “self-medicate” with poker - it won’t work. You will encounter a bad streak at some point and things could get ugly. Take care.

The desire of man to perfection in everything psychologists call perfectionism. But you have to understand that poker is a game that, in any case, involves both winning and losing. Therefore, if you are not ready for defeat, then your victories will not bring you pleasure.

nameless1537 said:

Speaking as someone in the mental health field, I’m guessing that these problems you are experiencing goes beyond poker and what happens in poker is likely symptomatic of other issues. The inner critic is strong in you - i would suggest that you look to see if this is happening in other areas of your life and get it addressed ASAP. Don’t try to “self-medicate” with poker - it won’t work. You will encounter a bad streak at some point and things could get ugly. Take care.

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This is great advice! I can speak further to the overall (and honestly vastly more important) general mental health aspects but can offer some advice when it comes to poker. I find that when I feel overly concerned with how I’m playing I just really pour myself into studying as much as possible. The more concerned I feel, the harder I study and generally the better I then feel about how I play in the future. Wishing you the best of luck

That sounds pretty rough. I hope you can find a different hobby that doesn't do
this to you.

Don't be too critical of your game. And believe in yourself.

take frequent breaks , like two days a week to read , study, meditate whatever. it helps me stay focused

Real talk, you need to see a therapist. There is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed, and it would be best to go to a professional who can help you and your loved ones learn how to more appropriately manage the symptoms.

Dude.

It's a card game. Be happy when you win. Be thoughtful about your losses and examine your game. Sound like you want to one day take this seriously. I suggest reading as many books and listen to as many seminars/ coaching videos as possible.

Record your hands .
Establish a list of leaks.
Don't go against what you know works no matter what new semi pro online says about your game. If it works , run with it till it don't then figure out what happened.

Remember we are there to win. But it's not about the money. If you are worried about the money I suggest trying Zynga poker or the poker stars free App.

Both have millions of people who don't take the game serious and willing to frustrate you on the daily with bad play.

Pick your head up. It's a game

I think you need to stop playing for a while, switch attention to the theoretical part of the game. I recommend not to play for 10 or more days, after 2-3 days after you stop playing, start reading poker books. And if after this time you want to play games, if not, continue to look for hobbies in other activities.
The main thing in our life is health, including mental health.

Do not take any game too serious. Take it day by day and you will be much happier. Poker is a long term game and you should not play it if you can not stand losing sometimes...

I'm not sure this is a bad thing. It sounds like you are just very very critical of yourself. The key factor is that you said:

... physically couldnt sleep that night because I felt I could have played better.

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It sounds to me that you are a perfectionist. Maybe cut yourself some slack and accept that we all make mistakes. There is always a next time and another next time to improve on our play.

The whole thing is a process.

Sounds to me like you should take some time off from poker and try to recharge.

You have to accept that poker is a game of mistakes. You will make them. If you can distinguish where you made them and where you made the correct decision regardless of the result as well as implementing and execute corrections it will go a long way to improving your game. This takes time and repetition as does anything that humans try to excel at. Instead of reinforcing the negative, learn to focus on the positive while detaching emotionally from the negative.

Your mental health should not be part of what is at stake.

I'm sorry you are feeling that way. It does seem that getting someone to talk about may be ideal. Self-esteem/ self-confidence is a very tricky thing.