Poker related but not some kind of advice: Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. (Steven Wright)
You can find a lot of mine here but I think the best one I put out lately is....
"One simple way to explain the benefit of playing Pot Limit Omaha for a living instead of No Limit Texas Hold Em is that the fish at PLO have four cards to be absolutely horrific with while the fish at NLHE only have two."