Aces Full of It: Round 2February 16th, 2016 by Justin Buchanan
Welp, I’ve started a blog war now, and frankly? I expected better from my “opponent,” Todd McGee. I’m going to be addressing him directly for a while, so bear with me guys.
You’re Not Very Good at This
First of all, if you take “snarker” as an insult, then why did you snark so much in the post that I used to kick this off? You’re the one who was biting my style, McGee. By the way, if “Whine-icus” is the best insult you’ve got, it’s hardly even going to be sporting to keep this up.
Even ignoring the poor quality of the (admittedly obligatory and despite what they’re called, I do not take them personally) personal attacks, you still have yet to prove your solution of “adding another dealer button” so to speak is even remotely viable. For one thing, I seriously doubt that button would be pressed “only once in a while” even discounting preflop play. As it happens, tonight is one of my rare sojourns into live-play territory and I may just ask a real live dealer for help with this dispute, so watch yourself!
Second, do you have any idea how many tournament disputes would be created if such a thing was left up to the discretion of a human being, let alone a multitasking dealer?! I don’t, but I suspect it would be so many that I can confidently say that I don’t want to know. The world at large is filled with dingbats that are all too eager to blame their failure on others, and the world of poker is no different! And you’re giving these people encouragement?! (I know I started a sentence with the word “and” there. I also do not care, this is a conversational style right now and any holier-than-thou grammar purists out there can bite me.)
Then Who was Poker?
Okay, enough of this pathos-saturated drivel, I’d better take a moment and actually talk about poker. In this case, this is vaguely current event related. I don’t know how long this has been the case, but it seems America’s Cardroom and Black Chip Poker (which are actually basically the same client, they even share the same player pool but you can’t log into both at once, don’t ask me how the heck that works because I have no idea, earthly or otherwise) have at least partially answered my prayers and begun offering regularly scheduled freezeout tournaments. I’m moderately happy about this, but the reason I say they partially answered my prayers is that these events still deign to include a full hour of late registration.
I’m glad they’re doing freezeouts. Really, I am. Even I think I may be looking the outdated proverbial gift horse in the mouth here, especially since a significant portion of these tournaments also have bounties, something I would sorely love the entire poker world to have more of for many reasons, but that’s another post. But I mean…if you allow late reg, can a tournament really be called a “freezeout”? It’s cooler than the normal dingbatting around ordinary low-stakes events encourage, certainly, but if entrants aren’t locked in from the get-go, I wouldn’t call that frozen. Maybe a “refrigerated-out” or a “chilled” out.
Yeah, that’s it. I’m going to start calling these new events Chillouts.
One Last Shot
By the way, McGee? If you’d seen me on Facebook and Twitter, you would have known me to use the “coffee is for the weak” hashtag, giving you a much greater appreciation on just how ineffective something like your little “cinnamon mocha espresso latte” bit would be. And health smoothies are a nationwide (if not world!) scam. The only zinger you slung that was the least bit good was the subtle implication that my table talk would constitute “mindless psychobabble.” I’m far too intellectual for that to be REMOTELY true!