Ask Mental Game Coach Jared Tendler

[Jared Tendler]

Thx a lot for replying.

I'm not sure why. There have to be some anxieties out there like fear of winning or w/e. Winning player hmm not entirely sure but I guess about a year, with months where I've tilted off a lot though but I hope that's in the past.

My goals are to at least beat 200nl cash, and go from there. Though goals about poker might not be a good thing, as Tommy Angelo says and I kind of agree, it's putting pressure on your game.

Procastination has been a big problem all my life pretty much. Doing better at it, not as much as I want tho. Then there are days like today where I can't be arsed to do anything, force myself to grind and obv play bad.

Anxieties are a really common cause of motivational issues - and often it can be strong enough to cause procrastination. The thing is though, that the real issue isn't the anxieties themselves, it's the underlying reason why you're feeling whatever pressure you're feeling. Sometimes it can be caused by high expectations, not wanting to fail - bc failure is believed to be a bad thing, or as you suggest, fear of winning. On a logical level it might seem odd to fear winning - what do you think the reason is that you fear it.

Poker goals are important because they help to determine what you do on a day-day basis in poker. The problem that many players have with poker goals is that they set goals that are not entirely up to them - ie. money goals. Pressure around goals is not the problem, in fact, pressure can be an incredible source of energy to achieve your goals. Pressure does become a problem when the level of it that you feel is too strong. But that doesn't mean that pressure is bad, just that we have to reduce the level of pressure you feel. To do that, you have to get to the source of what's causing the excess pressure. What comes to mind?

 

[tenbob]

How do you advise the thousands of players that now have thousands stuck on FT/Stars, and are in a blind panic atm ?

 

[Jared Tendler]

I play on Sky mainly which being an English only site can get a bit quiet at certain times of day and find myself coming up against the same players a lot. i don,t really jump sites because of the downswings. i am aware it happens and can handle them
My main problem is time management - allocating a time period to play and also try to incoporate some learning within that time

Can I just say i found one of the above posts interesting about enjoying losing. i haven,t come accross this in poker but when I used to play roulette machines and i was losing a fair amount i was almost set on the fact i would lose it all and when i got a win I thought it was just putting off the inevatable. About a year ago i withrew £1000 and after losing about £150 of it on slot machines I decided I,d have a better chance of getting it back on the roullette machine accross the road in the bookies- From about £300 left i had already decided in my mind it was all or nothing - get my £1000 back or lose the lot and after a cpl more spins I knew I was going to blow the lot but still carried on.
It was still a sickly feeling but felt if I punished myself by blowing the lot it might make me think a bit different the next time I thought about doing something similar and like you said it was almost a strange releif

Ps I saw Barry Carter on Sky poker the other night. He mentioned he was working on a book with you. any ideas when it will be out yet?

Thx
Paul

Hey Paul,

Can you post some more details about your time management prob, so I can help you out there.

With the enjoying losing thing - it is an interesting thing to happen, a bit odd, but makes sense once you realized there are benefits to losing.

The book is actually done now. It's available to order on www.mentalgameofpoker.com and will ship out the end of the month - at the printer right now!

Best,
Jared

 

[Jared Tendler]

Another quick question that I,m sure applies to other players

I am dyslexic. Does this put me at a disadvantage in poker?
I know there are many levels of dislexia, but i for one struggle with books and reading in general.
I can read but sometimes, especially books i find myself having to read paragraphs several times before they sink in.. It was the same at school with revising for exams - my friends would read a peice of work and it would sink in straight away. Not with me
Apart from the learning side do you think it can affect you as a player - maybe with memory also as mine isn,t that good compared to others
Is there anything you can suggest to combat this?
Thx again
Paul

T53 - I'm not territorial, if people have good ideas for others and what you suggested is one.

Paul - unfortunately my professional expertise in dyslexia is pretty minimal. I've learned a little about it, but not enough to give advice other than to do some research. I know there's a lot more research coming out about dyslexia, and I'd imagine that help for it is probably building too.

Sorry I can't help you more here.

 

[Jared Tendler]

Hey Jared,

First of all, many thanks for this thread!

I skimmed through it, and saw an earlier post wherein someone talked about losing interest in their current pursuit as soon as they had become "good" (but not great) at it, and thereupon moving on to some other project.

I have similar issues, and would say that your characterization of this poster as a "jack of many trades and master of none" applies to me as well. I'm pretty sure I've thought of myself in those exact terms before.

Looking back, I can see this has been a pattern in my life. I'm curious by nature and derive great enjoyment from learning and trying new things, but the problem is it's often at the expense of abandoning old things. I've waded through more hobbies than I can remember... piano, calligraphy, webdesign, programming, arts 'n crafts, Braille, cryptography... When I develop an interest in something, I'm driven to great lengths to research and learn it. For that period, it consumes my mind. It may cause me to be negligent of some of my other responsibilities. However, this passion for any one subject has rarely been sustainable, and rather, proven easily displaced by new subject matters that catch my fancy. Once my passion for a field diminishes, so does the effort I make to pursue it. As a result, I'm decent at many things, but not excellent at anything (i.e. jack of many trades, etc.).

I even see these tendencies manifest themselves within poker to an extent: I move from variation to variation, format to format (it's 6-max PLO Cash one day, Full Ring NLHE another day, SnGs the next, Stud 8 on Friday...), and I'm afraid it's preventing me from maximizing what I can get out of any one game (and by extension, from maximizing my profits).

As a kid, it was okay to dabble. To follow my whims. To have superficial knowledge in a wide, unfocused array of subjects. But now I'm at a stage where I should be buckling down and "specializing". I don't want to lose my basic enthusiasm for learning, but I want to redirect it.

This is how I've formulated in my mind what I want to change about myself: I want to stop being so passion-driven, and start being passion-driving. I want to be in control of my interests, rather than have them be in control of me. What steps do you think I could take to start working towards this?

Very cool analysis of yourself here btw. By that I mean, that it's great how well you understand the problem. As I see it the steps you need to do are to decide clearly what you want. Learning and passion have driven you, but what specifically do you want to achieve - in poker or in life? You've done a lot, experienced a lot, and it's clear that you're at the point now that you're ready to decide and specialize, as you say. Within that specialization what do you want to achieve?

Part of me thinks that you may be too process-oriented in a sense. Meaning that you aren't driven by results, you're driven by the pursuit, by the journey not the destination. Am I right?

In my worldview, I believe what's important is the journey and the destination. One without the other causes problems. Too focused on results you lose quality. Too focused on the pursuit and you gain very little. Combine them and boom - you have a rich learning experience driven towards something measurable. The result that you want in the end, then forces you to dig deeper, actually learn more, be more creative, AND work hard, focus on repetition, break through obstacles. Ultimately, this approach leads to a deep sense of satisfaction because the journey is harder with a tangible result that you want to achieve at the end. The harder it is, the more satisfying the end results. When things come easily, they aren't nearly as valueable. The hard road is what you want.

Getting through the hard road means you have a stronger understanding of what's going to stop you. I'd suggest, writing these down. Think back to your hobbie history and figure out what the things were that threw you off, and come up with some ideas how you'll push through them this time.

I'd also work really hard to go slower. Take time to actually learn - rather than cram your head full of information.

I wrote an 8-part blog series recently around accomplishing goals, there maybe some ideas in that may help you too. Here's the first post, and it it are links to the other seven.

Does this help?

 

[Jared Tendler]

How do you advise the thousands of players that now have thousands stuck on FT/Stars, and are in a blind panic atm ?

Panic is a hard thing to quell because it usually means people are so caught up in it, that they can't think straight, or listen to reason. It's hard to know what this means, but I do think it's important to avoid speculating or get caught up doing it. Stay tuned into facts, listen to credible people, and do what you think is best. It's easy to think only of the absolute worst case, and on one level it can be smart to prepare for that possibility, it also many not be the most helpful for figuring out what you need to do. Try to brainstorm some options so you're prepared to make decisions as more information becomes certain and avoid making premature definitive conclusions.

Here are two things I found helpful today:

http://www.cardrunners.com/blog/Andrew

http://www.pokernews.com/news/2011/...nline-poker-black-friday-indictment-10224.htm


It sucks. But you'll find a way through it and figure out what you need to do.

 

[SYWTWAF]

Part of me thinks that you may be too process-oriented in a sense. Meaning that you aren't driven by results, you're driven by the pursuit, by the journey not the destination. Am I right?

All around great response, but this bit I quote above especially struck a chord with me. I haven't put it in quite that way before, but you're spot on.

I suppose being so process-oriented helps me in poker in some important respects. One issue I don't struggle with too much is tilt, and I reckon this is in part because I never had much trouble adopting the "don't be results-oriented" mindset.

I like what you said about balancing your journey and destination, and about thinking about what you need to do to push through the hard times. You're right, at least for some of my past interests, I gave up when they got hard.

I'll be reading your blog entries very soon.

And yes, this has been a big help! Thank you very much for your insights!

 

[Jared Tendler]

In light of what's going on I wanted to share a couple other things I posted today that may help all of you maintain your sanity.

After tenbob's question, I had a lot of additional thoughts that wrote in this blog post: http://jaredtendlerpoker.com/blog/keeping-your-sanity-long/

Since fear is now a bigger issue in poker than ever before, I also posted 18 pages from the fear chapter of the book:http://jaredtendlerpoker.com/blog/excerpts-of-the-fear-chapter/


Hope my words help to ease your mind some.

I know there are some questions I missed yesterday. I'll be back soon to answer them.

 

[Poker Orifice]

Panic is a hard thing to quell because it usually means people are so caught up in it, that they can't think straight, or listen to reason. It's hard to know what this means, but I do think it's important to avoid speculating or get caught up doing it. Stay tuned into facts, listen to credible people, and do what you think is best. It's easy to think only of the absolute worst case, and on one level it can be smart to prepare for that possibility, it also many not be the most helpful for figuring out what you need to do. Try to brainstorm some options so you're prepared to make decisions as more information becomes certain and avoid making premature definitive conclusions.

Here are two things I found helpful today:

http://www.cardrunners.com/blog/Andrew

http://www.pokernews.com/news/2011/...nline-poker-black-friday-indictment-10224.htm


It sucks. But you'll find a way through it and figure out what you need to do.

Cool response here Jared. Can I quote it in a few places? (will quote with name & link). I'm getting sick of reading so many peeps speculating all kinds of shyt. (I suppose I could just 'not read' them)

 

[Jared Tendler]

Cool response here Jared. Can I quote it in a few places? (will quote with name & link). I'm getting sick of reading so many peeps speculating all kinds of shyt. (I suppose I could just 'not read' them)

Absolutely. Speculation is one way people try to deal with their fears - if they're brain is moving, maybe it won't be as real or as bad. But no one knows for sure, so instead be objective and prepared for multiple possibilities.

I'm really curious what the general sentiment is out there - been getting bits and pieces, but I'd love to know more about how all of you are handling it. The more I know, the more I can help.

 

[LuckyChippy]

This is pretty embarrasing but I'm posting anyway, I've got nothing to lose. I'm a long term winner at 2nl, 10bb/100 over 70k hands. It's a fair win-rate and would suggest I can beat levels higher than 2nl. 5nl and 10nl shouldn't be out of the question even with the skills I have now. This hasn't turned out to be the case as I'll show in a couple of pics.

A little background (excuses) to my play. I started a while back messing around playing bad, the usual. I then decided to "take it serious" deposited $600 and immediately withdrew $300 to get the $600 FT deposit bonus and play 10nl. The bonuses and rb kept me a float but I was a pretty big losing player. After the bonus stopped I eventually dropped to 5nl then 2nl as my br shrunk. This is why I have such massive losses at 10nl and 5nl. 10nl is all from that initial time and 5nl is combination of that time and my continuing inability to beat the level.

This year I haven't played much so variance is a big part but I feel confident I'm a winner at 2nl, 5nl has crushed me though and right now I feel crushed by poker.



Fwiw I don't normally have the EV on my report tab but I added them for this pic.


I don't know why this is happening, it really sucks and tbh I'm feeling so crushed atm I'm thinking of just quitting. I don't want to be the guy that plays 2nl forever, for me there's no point. At the same time I cannot for the life of me beat 5nl (5 ****ing no limit) with any consistency. I'm actually a massive loser and that's ridiculous. If I beat 2nl I should be able to beat 5nl, or at least break even or something. I know personally there is no difference, everyone you ever ask will say there is virtually no difference.

I dunno what I'm saying and more importantly I don't know what to do, I literally feel crushed by it and by something I should be crushing myself.

Basically looking for some advice, it has to be something mentally. How do I move on from this, how do I approach poker and any advice about what I should do to get past this? I'm feeling pretty lost right now, I don't want to give up on poker.

Just to round of the picture, this:

 

[Jared Tendler]

Hello Jared,

Those are some pretty tough questions. (You're really good at this. Hopefully, I can be just as good at answering.) Anyways, when I think back at the times I lose an immediate feeling of anguish follows. Through that feeling is just a huge smile though. Like a mental torture of some kind. Almost like I feel delighted that things don't go well all the time. I feel more interested when chaos ensues. I don't think I answered anything again, but I think that is all I got.

Well you did answer some of it. It's a start. So if chaos is more interesting, if losing is more interesting, what's boring about winning?

In my experience, players who have similar issue, deep down when losing feels good, it feels that way because its something that's in their control. When variance, or even your game is heading south, and it feels like winning it too tough or not possible, losing is something you can control. It's clearly not what they want, but in comparison to feeling completely out of control, wanting to lose feels good and is in their control.

Does that apply to you, or make you think of anything else?

 

[Jared Tendler]

Welcome Jared, i got a quick question here.
If someone beats me in a game, i replay that same person, will it be wrong to want to beat him or her in the next game, that i see them in.
Some say it's hurting my game, how do you see it?

Thanks

Thanks Kid,

Is it wrong? Hell no. Although, the big question is what you do to beat them. If you get angry and try to force the action, then your desire to beat them may be misdirected. However, if wanting to beat them motivates you to understand why you lost, understand their game better, and devise a better strategy, then it's a great thing.

Just make sure that your desire to win, is focused entirely on what you control. That way, you'll be focused more on the details of the action and more likely to win.

In what ways, do you or they think it's hurting your game?

 

[Jared Tendler]

All around great response, but this bit I quote above especially struck a chord with me. I haven't put it in quite that way before, but you're spot on.

I suppose being so process-oriented helps me in poker in some important respects. One issue I don't struggle with too much is tilt, and I reckon this is in part because I never had much trouble adopting the "don't be results-oriented" mindset.

I like what you said about balancing your journey and destination, and about thinking about what you need to do to push through the hard times. You're right, at least for some of my past interests, I gave up when they got hard.

I'll be reading your blog entries very soon.

And yes, this has been a big help! Thank you very much for your insights!

Yw! Great to hear I was spot on The good news is, that in my experience it's easier to become more results-oriented than to become less so. You're in a good spot, just going to take some mental muscle building.

Stop back if you run intro trouble.

 

[Jared Tendler]

This is pretty embarrasing but I'm posting anyway, I've got nothing to lose. I'm a long term winner at 2nl, 10bb/100 over 70k hands. It's a fair win-rate and would suggest I can beat levels higher than 2nl. 5nl and 10nl shouldn't be out of the question even with the skills I have now. This hasn't turned out to be the case as I'll show in a couple of pics.

A little background (excuses) to my play. I started a while back messing around playing bad, the usual. I then decided to "take it serious" deposited $600 and immediately withdrew $300 to get the $600 FT deposit bonus and play 10nl. The bonuses and rb kept me a float but I was a pretty big losing player. After the bonus stopped I eventually dropped to 5nl then 2nl as my br shrunk. This is why I have such massive losses at 10nl and 5nl. 10nl is all from that initial time and 5nl is combination of that time and my continuing inability to beat the level.

This year I haven't played much so variance is a big part but I feel confident I'm a winner at 2nl, 5nl has crushed me though and right now I feel crushed by poker.



Fwiw I don't normally have the EV on my report tab but I added them for this pic.


I don't know why this is happening, it really sucks and tbh I'm feeling so crushed atm I'm thinking of just quitting. I don't want to be the guy that plays 2nl forever, for me there's no point. At the same time I cannot for the life of me beat 5nl (5 ****ing no limit) with any consistency. I'm actually a massive loser and that's ridiculous. If I beat 2nl I should be able to beat 5nl, or at least break even or something. I know personally there is no difference, everyone you ever ask will say there is virtually no difference.

I dunno what I'm saying and more importantly I don't know what to do, I literally feel crushed by it and by something I should be crushing myself.

Basically looking for some advice, it has to be something mentally. How do I move on from this, how do I approach poker and any advice about what I should do to get past this? I'm feeling pretty lost right now, I don't want to give up on poker.

Just to round of the picture, this:

Couple things come to mind:

What are you doing to improve?
How big is the gap between your knowledge about poker, and the quality of your decisions while playing?
What do you do to review the quality of your play?

The reason I ask these, is that perhaps the problem is simply the approach your taking to learn and improve. If I'm off base here, what do you think is the reason, aside from variance, why you're stuck at 2nl.

 

[fletchdad]

Hey Jared,

I want to do a quick update.

First off, thanks SOOOO much for your responses to everyones questions here.

I am making a number of changes in my (daily, weekly, monthly etc.) routine, in my attitude and in my life in general. No small mountain to climb at 52. It aint easy breaking out of ruts and set ways. I do have a background of diligence and know how to make concentrated and goal oriented efforts, but knowing and doing are often separated by very wide gaps.

As I posted in another thread, I am now employed again. I am a musician, and now have a gig with a band that gigs regularly. The schedule this year already shows all Saturdays, and most Fridays booked(!), and many other days as well, so poker on the weekend is out. (SOOOO beside the point, but I did enjoy the weekend drunks in the games, as soon as I stopped being one myself lol) All the stress that was job related is GONE!!!!!!!!! The stress still to come I can deal with.

The mental pressure where my future was uncertain was greatly reduced by people such as yourself who were constructively helpful. I can only repeat myself and say thanks.

The one door shuts, the next one opens. A positive attitude may not move mountains, and seems sometimes unattainable, but it helped me get through some rough times (when I was able to attain it), even tho I was often unsuccessful in my search for reasons to smile. But the fact that I tried probably enabled me to smile a bit more than if I had not.

My poker goals are still very top of the list, but the pressure to GET GOOD is gone. Which will very probably enable me to actually improve more, even tho my volume will be very limited, at least for a while.

As the rest of us, I am keeping an eye on the poker world and the changes happening now. This will be reason for much dis rest and uncertainty. I am keeping my hopes up that a suitable solution will soon be found, and I am truly sad for the players whos lives are seriously effected by this. I am sure you are having some work cut out for you in this area.

In spite of that terrible news, I wish you - and all - a Happy Easter.

 

[RamdeeBen]

Hi Jared first off I'd like to thank you for doing this question time. This is brilliant you're here and very kind you're answering everyones questions, so quickly!

My question is this,

I'm embarrassed to say really but it does effect my game more than anything and that is my attitude at an online table. It doesn't effect me if I play live, it seems more to being online and is the one thing I want to sort out more than anything in game.

I have a tendency to get ate up quite easily and vent my frustrations at players some times (bad I know) and can be quite rude and obnoxious towards players. I then after 5minutes of letting of steam realise how much of an idiot I've been and do tend to offer my apologies to the players I'v been rude too. I will then get into a conversation and really get on well them, they seem really nice people and I feel so guilty at the way I have behaved.

The thing is, I've addressed it and I do know it but for some reason after a really bad call or play by another player even if I'm on another table and the same thing has happened I still can't help saying something even after at the other table I just said sorry and KNOW I'm going to be saying to same thing after my next rant at the other table. It is the most frustrating thing about my game and upsetting from my part and most definetly one I want to fix,

I'm guessing it's some sort of psychological problem where I can't keep my emotions in place.

Any advice would be great as I think this would improve my overall game by 10fold if I can beat this problem, as it does briefly effect my play too and as ironic as it sounds the person I am at the table sometimes is the type of person I really hate at a table more than anyone, yet I'm this person at times. Does that make any sense?

I've also tried disabling chat before to help it but even gone as far as re-enabling it just to vent my anger..

Multi tabling can help as I won't have time to vent or see the outcome of the hand but I want it fixed for when I do play a few tables and be able to one day just say "NH sir" rather than just not seeing the cards unveil I want to be able to watch them turn over their 9,5os and show their sick straight and me be ok with it and appreciate that they got their money in bad and I paid them off and sit back and think "Ok, nh lets continue" but I find this the biggest obstacle for me to pass in poker.

Thanks!

 

[LarkMarlow]

Just wanted to hop in here and say your book arrived in the mail today, Jared! Looks great; can't wait to dive right in.

 

[Jared Tendler]

Hey Jared,

I want to do a quick update.

First off, thanks SOOOO much for your responses to everyones questions here.

I am making a number of changes in my (daily, weekly, monthly etc.) routine, in my attitude and in my life in general. No small mountain to climb at 52. It aint easy breaking out of ruts and set ways. I do have a background of diligence and know how to make concentrated and goal oriented efforts, but knowing and doing are often separated by very wide gaps.

As I posted in another thread, I am now employed again. I am a musician, and now have a gig with a band that gigs regularly. The schedule this year already shows all Saturdays, and most Fridays booked(!), and many other days as well, so poker on the weekend is out. (SOOOO beside the point, but I did enjoy the weekend drunks in the games, as soon as I stopped being one myself lol) All the stress that was job related is GONE!!!!!!!!! The stress still to come I can deal with.

The mental pressure where my future was uncertain was greatly reduced by people such as yourself who were constructively helpful. I can only repeat myself and say thanks.

The one door shuts, the next one opens. A positive attitude may not move mountains, and seems sometimes unattainable, but it helped me get through some rough times (when I was able to attain it), even tho I was often unsuccessful in my search for reasons to smile. But the fact that I tried probably enabled me to smile a bit more than if I had not.

My poker goals are still very top of the list, but the pressure to GET GOOD is gone. Which will very probably enable me to actually improve more, even tho my volume will be very limited, at least for a while.

As the rest of us, I am keeping an eye on the poker world and the changes happening now. This will be reason for much dis rest and uncertainty. I am keeping my hopes up that a suitable solution will soon be found, and I am truly sad for the players whos lives are seriously effected by this. I am sure you are having some work cut out for you in this area.

In spite of that terrible news, I wish you - and all - a Happy Easter.

This is great news! Congrats on finding full time work! And more importantly peace of mind. I'm happy knowing that I've played a part in helping you getting there and I wish you the best in continuing to move forward...at a reasonable pace. It's amazing how much more can be accomplished when stress is at a reasonable level.

Stay in touch, I know I, and I'm sure others will be interest to hear how things are going for you. Maybe a free concert for you cardschat friends one day

Best,
Jared

 

[Jared Tendler]

Hi Jared first off I'd like to thank you for doing this question time. This is brilliant you're here and very kind you're answering everyones questions, so quickly!

My question is this,

I'm embarrassed to say really but it does effect my game more than anything and that is my attitude at an online table. It doesn't effect me if I play live, it seems more to being online and is the one thing I want to sort out more than anything in game.

I have a tendency to get ate up quite easily and vent my frustrations at players some times (bad I know) and can be quite rude and obnoxious towards players. I then after 5minutes of letting of steam realise how much of an idiot I've been and do tend to offer my apologies to the players I'v been rude too. I will then get into a conversation and really get on well them, they seem really nice people and I feel so guilty at the way I have behaved.

The thing is, I've addressed it and I do know it but for some reason after a really bad call or play by another player even if I'm on another table and the same thing has happened I still can't help saying something even after at the other table I just said sorry and KNOW I'm going to be saying to same thing after my next rant at the other table. It is the most frustrating thing about my game and upsetting from my part and most definetly one I want to fix,

I'm guessing it's some sort of psychological problem where I can't keep my emotions in place.

Any advice would be great as I think this would improve my overall game by 10fold if I can beat this problem, as it does briefly effect my play too and as ironic as it sounds the person I am at the table sometimes is the type of person I really hate at a table more than anyone, yet I'm this person at times. Does that make any sense?

I've also tried disabling chat before to help it but even gone as far as re-enabling it just to vent my anger..

Multi tabling can help as I won't have time to vent or see the outcome of the hand but I want it fixed for when I do play a few tables and be able to one day just say "NH sir" rather than just not seeing the cards unveil I want to be able to watch them turn over their 9,5os and show their sick straight and me be ok with it and appreciate that they got their money in bad and I paid them off and sit back and think "Ok, nh lets continue" but I find this the biggest obstacle for me to pass in poker.

Thanks!

You're welcome...though, I didn't make it to yours as quickly as I would have liked. It's been a bit crazy for me with the release of my book.

Often the things we dislike about others, is the thing that we dislike about ourselves (though not always obvious).

You sound like a nice guy in general, and there's just something about poker that sparks a deeper part of you. The anger rises up and overtakes your ability to remain in control. The important question here is why. Why are you reacting with so much anger in these specific situations. In order to eliminate the emotion, we need to know why it's happening. If you provide more details, about the cause - what sparks it - the situations that spark it - what you say to your opponents - anything you say outloud or in your head - and any other details you think are important. These details will help me to identify the underlying problem, and from there we can develop a strategy.

While it may be embarrassing to admit this problem. It would be far more embarrassing to not recognize it's a problem at all. Use the courage you have to face this problem head on, to look more closely at it. There is a way to resolve the problem, but there's more work ahead before you get to that point.

Best,
Jared

 

[Jared Tendler]

Just wanted to hop in here and say your book arrived in the mail today, Jared! Looks great; can't wait to dive right in.

Awesome! How's it going so far? Do you need any direction around which sections to focus on?

 

[fletchdad]

This is great news! Congrats on finding full time work! And more importantly peace of mind. I'm happy knowing that I've played a part in helping you getting there and I wish you the best in continuing to move forward...at a reasonable pace. It's amazing how much more can be accomplished when stress is at a reasonable level.

Stay in touch, I know I, and I'm sure others will be interest to hear how things are going for you. Maybe a free concert for you cardschat friends one day

Best,
Jared

Thanks man!!! It is great news. My poker playing had reduced about 80%, but thats ok. I guess around the end of summer, I will be able to get back to more volume again. I will be traveling a lot and I have all the prep work to get done as well, not to mention the family etc.

I had just started working with a coach (Bwammo) and trying to get a review routine together, and now I dont have time any more, but as I said, it will all come together when things settle down. It is a bit disappointing on the poker front, but my family if pretty happy about getting to do stuff like...........eating...lol.

Free concert for CC? I hope to make it happen someday. :thrasher:

 

[Poker Orifice]

Jared, just wanted to mention to ya - this is possibly the most helpful thread I've read on the entire forum (or ranks closely to the top for sure!!). Wish more members would ask questions on here as I always look forward to reading the replies & have picked up a bunch of useful stuff from them.
tks again!!

 

[Jared Tendler]

Jared, just wanted to mention to ya - this is possibly the most helpful thread I've read on the entire forum (or ranks closely to the top for sure!!). Wish more members would ask questions on here as I always look forward to reading the replies & have picked up a bunch of useful stuff from them.
tks again!!

I appreciate you saying so. Knowing that all the time/energy that I put into this thread is valuable makes it worth it! And more enjoyable.

 

[_BadaBing_]

Well I need to thank Debi for asking you - and you for accepting the invite to help us all. I know how to play poker but I don't always do well with the mental end of dealing with it like sometimes wanting to pick up my PC and toss it out the window Oh did I say that out loud? But I would venture to guess that there are a lot of other poker players here that might want to do the same thing on occasion. Having said that I will be watching your answers to the various queries very carefully to gleen info on how to deal with different situations that arise while playing poker and thanks again for taking the time to help us.