people, you just do not understand. fx is currently beating life for a lot more in terms of fun than anything he could ever achieve playing poker. if that is not a sound strategy, then i don't know what is
Right.
I intellectually realize that I was in a month long downswing and that if I had kept playing it would have turned around.
But emotionally I realized that I didn't ever want to experience a prolonged downswing again. Maybe it's like being thrown from a horse or bit by a dog, where you develop an irrational fear that is impervious to reason, that my horrendous experience over the span of month has totally altered my view of the game. All I know is that when I was a money loser with KK after 90 times, that I ran into countless set over sets and lost a hundred times to 2 outers that I didn't want to ever go through it again. From April 20th until May 20th I got repeatedly beaten down, over and over again with only 3 decent days in that stretch until I finally couldn't take it anymore and tilted off the remainder of my bankroll.
At that point I had no option but to evaluate and reflect as I had told myself I would not re-deposit. I really dug down and determined that I stopped enjoying poker when I tried to move up to 10nl.
Once I made the conscious decision to quit, I felt liberated, free. The wicked witch was dead, the machines stopped trying to destroy Zion. the war was over, the stormy seas became calm. Since that moment I have had zero interest in playing.
I no longer impatiently sit through one of my kid's events thinking,
I hope this ends soon, I'm itching to play. I no longer wake up on a Monday after a bad weekend of poker, I no longer stay up late at night trying to get in volume, earn my VPP's or clear a bonus. I no longer have to experience collecting the blinds 7 times in a row when I had AA and losing the next time to a 2 outer
after all the money was in. I no longer have to experience the 11th time in a row that I missed my Flush. I no longer have to get all in w/ QQ vs a loose player who has AK and have the 1st card on the flop be an Ace, I no longer have to lose w/ AK to AQ when villain flops a pair of Queens and I flop squadoosh. I no longer am forced to see villain re-raise all in on the river because he slow played the nut Full House and I have the 2nd nut full house. I no longer have to experience the thousands of disappointments, aggravations and heartbreak that is poker. I don't want to play a game where I have to be a
ninja, a
stoic, a
zen master, calmly accepting bad beats, smiling and thinking, nice hand, donkey. I no longer have to hold my hand over the flame of variance when my brain is screaming
take your hand out of the fire, it is smells like steak! because to remove one's hand from the flame would be a sign that I was
results oriented.
I am beating poker for an
infinite winrate by saying; I don't need you, don't want you.
Hey fx, you watching the NHL playoffs?
I missed the 1st 2 games because they were on at bad times but I am watching Game 3 right now.