Stars Support is Amazing

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54...wesome-357676/

But clearly not the smartest.

Me:

I'm close to Supernova, but need motivation to get there. Any chance you could write me a motivational haiku to get me back to the tables? Thank you.

Stars:

Hello Daniel,

Thank you for your email.

Everyone can win aces,
winning seven deuce, however
is much more funny

If that does not motivate you enough, we are always happy to oblige with
more inspirational materials.

Good luck future SuperNova!

Regards,

Zandi D


Me:

[ ] haiku


I will update when Zandi hits me back.


Wow, Zandi is a quick one.

Stars:

Hello Daniel,

Thank you for your email

What do you mean by [ ] haiku?

Do not worry, we are currently producing a better one.

Regards,

Zandi D
PokerStars Support Team


Me:

Zandi,

I can not really explain in words what [ ] haiku means. Perhaps an example will better demonstrate the empty checkbox.

[ ] I can win flips vs. shortstacks
[x] your haiku was incorrectly formatted

Thank you for all the help.


Hello Daniel,

Thank you for information.

You are correct and I can only apologize, blaming only myself for being a
non-native speaker of English.

My friendly Welsh coworker suggests:

your aces got cracked
but the poker gods smile now
you get quads next hand

And I have made another:

pocket aces, great
deuce deuce deuce flop, enemy has one
****ing hell doomswitch

I do apologize, again, for my ignorance.

Regards,

Zandi D
PokerStars Support Team


Stars:

Hello Daniel,

I apologize for emailing you again.

But poetry is addictive, once you start you cannot stop.

Omaha Hi Lo
confusing, why did I lose
better mail support

Last email of the day, good night.

Regards,

Zandi D
PokerStars Support Team


Stars:

Hello Daniel,

Thank you for your compliment.

You are amazing
too, on and off the tables
sleep well and good night

Now I can't seem to stop making haikus.

If there is anything else we can do for you, please do not hesitate to
contact us.

Regards,

Zandi D
PokerStars Support Team

thats just great

haha i cant stop laughing

OK

lol it gets better:

Oh

We have a limerick thread somewhere, link them

Hai

lol asked them to please write research paper for me, their response:

Hello Zachary,

Thank you for contacting PokerStars.

Unfortunately we are unable to write your essay for you. I have decided to
kill two birds with one stone and explain our position in the form of a
limerick:

We do not condone plagiarism,
Your essay by you must be written.
If you write it yourself,
without our help,
you'll avoid academic derision.

I wish you all the best in writing your essay and in getting your 200k
milestone bonus by the end of the year. If there is anything else we can
help you with, please do not hesitate to contact us again.

Thank you for choosing PokerStars, and best of luck at the tables!


Regards,

AaronA
PokerStars Support Team

Somewhere there's a guy who can't login to his account waiting for Stars to respond but they're busy amusing you. I hope you're proud of yourself!

Geeze I'm sitting at 2nl with him and others and the chat mods came to visit..

It sceeeeeeeeeeeerd me, I froze and never said a word. You own part of PS Zach??? He told the Chat mod that Combuboom was a SuperUser lol, I didn't want' to be banned from anything

Oh, that's fantastic!!! I love it when support peeps have a sense of humor. And poetry skills too.

A coworker of mine and I were looking at the Dell website the other day when a message popped up asking if we wanted to chat with support. He hovered over "No" but on a whim instead clicked "Yes." We'd been discussing a date he had later that night so I told him to ask the Dell chat support person where he should take her.

My coworker: "I have my first date in twelve years tonight and don't know where to take her. What should I do?"

We then sat eagerly anticipating a reply but assuming we'd probably get a curt cutoff or simply be ignored. Instead, after a reasonably long pause, the Dell chat person replied:

"You need to find out what she likes."

It totally made my day.

That's hilarious. Did they remind him how many hands he'll have to play at 2nl to reach his 200K bonus (in a sonnet of course)???

lol shoulda seen when we asked to chop the $1 HU sng claiming we thought it was a 1c HU sng and was way above our BRs. Got him to chop it (rake still stayed high ).

First asked if he could just give us each $5 but he said he couldn't do that. Then other guy asked the mod if he could have his babies. First he said yes, but near the end said something about "dunno whether your parents have given you the birds and the bees talk...". LOL once in a while you get a support person who has no sense of humor, but in all seriousness their real support is amazing (lightning-fast responses, even when you do have a legitimate issue) and as mentioned here they all seem to have good senses of humor .

all jokes aside, they get back to you in a hurry with any questions. I just wish it wasthe answer I was looking for sometimes lol

no they are not . i read everywhere how super their support is but they are not. i registered a stg tournament yesterday, money gone but no table opened. nearly about 21 hours passed, i will shout after 24 hours.

Did you actually email Stars support with your problem? This is more likely to be a problem on your end so the table not opening isn't a problem with Stars. If they ignore your emails it is their problem though, but from my experience I've always gotten a response within 12 hours and most of the time it's more like within 10 minutes.

edit: and if it's important start the subject line with URGENT and you'll get a response pretty quick.

This is one of the most awesomestts things I have ever read on this forum.

SOOOOOO LOLing about this
Who knew Stars support was this funny

Please give us more support jokes Zach ..
I order you to create a new one !

ty for your suggestion. yes i really sent them messages . 4 times . no response.a window opened when i got tired and closed software that says i am still registered to a tournament. but after closing and reopening software, i wanted tournament historyand i saw that i was eleminated ten minutes ago even though i didnt see any table : ) anyway they still have 2 hours but at least i want a response, 2 dolars is nothing but they dont respond

i litterally lol when i read this

I want moaaaar

They are such a big site its possible they just have some extra time on their hands. I have had to contact them before and they were fast, friendly, and efficient. Doing something like that for someone who plays there alot is a great business move, even if it started as fun. If your almost supernova they know you play alot, why would they ever want to give you a reason to play somewhere else? Good luck in your supernova quest, hope to get there someday as well.

Alright here's this one chain that happened today between Zandi and myself .

After reading some of your responses on 2+2 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54...wesome-357676/), I have come to the conclusion that you are the most awesome human being on the face of the Earth. So I have a question for you.

Will you marry me?

Thanks.

Zach

Hello Zachary,

Thank you for your email.

When pocket deuces shall beseige thy hole,
And dig deep trenches in thy forehead's field,
Thy youth's proud bluffery, so gazed on now,
Will be a tatter'd weed, of small worth held:
Then being ask'd where all thy aces lie,
Where all the treasure of thy lusty days,
To say, within thine own deep-sunken eyes,
Were an all-eating shame and thriftless praise.
How much more praise deserved thy beauty's use,
If thou couldst answer 'This fair straight of mine
Shall sum my pot and make my old excuse,'
Proving his beauty by succession thine!
This were to be new made when thou art old,
And see thy blood warm when thou feel'st it cold.

Consider us legally wed, may I have your bank account number?

If there is anything else we can rhyme for you, please do not hesitate to
contact us.

Regards,

Zandi D
PokerStars Support Team

omgomg thank you so much. I probably don't have much more in my account than the cost of a ring anyway, so here's my bank account number: 14
Do you have any pictures of yourself? My friends and family are curious to see pictures of my new wife. Thanks again .

Zach


Hello Zachary,

Thank you for the bank account number, I will use the money to buy myself a
tazer so that I keep my fans at bay.

Here is a picture of me:

http://www.ferydoon-zandi.de/bilder/auto1_big.jpg

As you can see I am a professional football player in my free time.

Regards,

Zandi D
PokerStars Support Team


umm wtf that's not football, that's soccer. Ugh I can't have my wife calling soccer football. Sorry I'm gonna have to leave you Zandi. I think it's best for both of us. Enjoy the taser as our parting gift. Good luck and life and may you find happiness.
Zach


Hello Zachary,

Thank you for your email.


When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly the tazer bold
hit your red lips.

Be good to your cards and your card will be good to you.

Regards,

Zandi D
PokerStars Support Team

You are amazing
Your poetry entertains

Why not pro poet?
Zach


Hello Zachary,

Thank you for your email.


For some unfathomable reason, stealing Byron's and Shakespeare's work is
frowned upon in the literary circles. Crazy but true.

If there is anything else we can do for you, please do not hesitate to
contact us.

Regards,

Zandi D
PokerStars Support Team

omgomgomgomg is right !

So awesome
Even stays hilarious now that I'm sober

you need to specifically ask for MatthewR, the lolz will roll in then

Does he send handhistory poetry ?

no they are not amazing. at last today they sent an answer( two days later). they said i didnt register a 2 dolar hu today and sent me history of games i played today!!! are they amazing ? no i sent email 2 days ago and they even didnt read what i wrote!

ok pokerstars is best room now but their support is not amazing. maybe they did respond quickly to some maybe they are very homourous sometimes but they do suck too.

i replied them again and now they sent me another message. they say (attention! its really ironic) ; "this is the first email we receive regarding this issue."

they obviously lied . so how did they replied me firstly ? how could they say, i wasnt registered to 2 dolar hu today ? how ? were they on a hallucinogen ? did they get divine inspiration? and still they say its because of my connection. but when i was closing software, i get message, i have to unregister that tournament, that finished 15 minutes ago. its because of their database or whatever. anyway they gave money back, but if they had given money without saying anything, that would be much better

LOL... this post is hilarious!!!! Good times!!!!

When I emailed pokerstars about changing my avatar to the CC avatar I got a response in like 5 minutes saying that sense I've had the same avatar for the last thee years, they would let me change it. He told me to email him when I changed it, so I did. Minutes later my avatar was changed!!! I didn't have to wait the 24 hours or however long it's supposed to take. Probably the best customer service I've seen, ever!!!