Clacton live donkament trip report (10-12 November)

Dorkus Malorkus

Dorkus Malorkus

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(Some of the specific details such as times/chronology of events and especially hand details may be off. Some things are not detailed enough, simply because I don't remember the details. Put this down to a lack of sleep and generally crap memory on my part) :)

As some of you may or may not know, a bunch of us went to Clacton (on the south east coast of England, about an hour's drive from London for the uninitiated) last weekend to play some live donkaments. The party consisted of:

Me
Colin (colin_147)
Jon (Grumbledook)
Liam (tenbob)
Tracy (KillerKat)

I'd like to make excuses, but the truth is I'm a week delayed writing up this report because I'm a lazy git.

Having booked Friday and Monday off work, I left home at 6:30am (about an hour before I'd even have to get up if I was going to work), to get into Birmingham City Centre to get a train at 7:20am, or thereabouts. The first donkament was at 2:00pm and I had arranged to meet Liam and Tracy beforehand at 11:00am at Stansted (London), easier for me as I could get a train directly there, and they were both staying nearby, so it wasn't too much hassle for them.

Anyway, trains suck. I mean they really suck. Especially Central Trains. If you're planning on getting a train around here, don't get a Central Train anywhere, because, well, they suck. The train I'm on ends up terminating at Cambridge (an hour from Stansted), because, well, it sucked. Pretty much just as I'm getting off the sucky train, Liam calls asking where I am (it's round about 11am at this point), and I let him know the news about the train sucking, after taking about 15 minutes to try and get used to his very Irish accent.

I end up meeting Liam and Tracy at just past midday at Stansted, having hopped on another Central Train (which also sucked but at least got to its destination) from Cambridge. We rush off in the vague direction of the car rental parks, a little worried about the time as it's about an hour and a half's drive to Clacton, not accounting for what we referred to as 'getting lost time'.

The journey ends up taking less time than expected, and we find the snooker club where all the poker is going on with no hassle (mainly because of my uber-navigating skills, I must say). Having been delayed by an hour or so, we still end up getting there before Colin and Jon.

At one point we have a little laugh about how many idiots will turn up in the whole baseball cap and sunglasses garb. As we're discussing this, someone in a baseball cap walks by, much to my amusement as I feel the need to point out 'there's a donk in a baseball cap' and have a little giggle at him.

That donk in the baseball cap was Colin, who'd just arrived with Jon. Chortle chortle.

So anyways, moving swiftly on, we have a chat and a drink for about 10 minutes before the first donkament starts. It's a £20 freezeout, and there are about 60 entrants.

We all sucked. I was sat with Jon to start with, and he lasted a total of about 4 hands, deciding to bluff-raise with rags against a calling station's KQ on a AAQ board. Obviously he wasn't to know villain was a calling station after 4 hands, but, umm, yeah. I end up doing very little until the break before busting shortish stacked in a race, my AQ vs TT, all in preflop, board bricked. Nobody else in our party fared much better.

So we all go back to the drawing board. Liam in particular devises an infallible strategy - which I shall name the 'The more alcohol I consume the better I will be at poker' tactic. We hang around for a while and have a couple more drinks before popping out for some food (Chinese restaurant, I forget the name but the food was pretty nice), and heading back refreshed for the second donkament - a £40 one rebuy or addon event which started at 8:30pm. About 80 entrants this time.

As a group we fared a little better in this one - as far as I remember everyone made it past the first break. I must plead ignorance as to exactly how everyone did, but

I think there was a spell about an hour after the break in which we started dropping. I ended up about back where I started at 2500 chips at the break, having dropped a little having to fold a CO steal with A9 to a SB reraise, but having won a nice pot in the hand before the break where I open-push JJ, and some guy declares "I'm bored" before calling with 76o. Board bricks and I bust him. I add-on, having not had to rebuy before the break, giving myself a 5k stack (we weren't allowed to rebuy unless our stack was <1250, otherwise I'd have rebought immediately of course). Surprisingly, I'd guestimate only half of the people who had the option of adding on actually added on.

Shortly after the break, it starts getting fun. JTo in the big blind, 4 limpers. I check, and we see a AKQr flop. Check-check, button bets, and I, in my infinite wisdom, elect to slowplay and just call. Everyone else folds. Turn K and I throw up a little inside, but then take the time to think about it and realise that only KQ is likely in button's limping range and beats me. Considering he's calling with any K and maybe with some Ax hands, I push for about 1.5x pot. Villain calls, says "I'm gonna be pissed if he's got the King", and shows A9o. I try not to giggle, river blanks and I take down a nice pot.

Fast forward a few hours because I can't remember anything interesting. Jon, Colin and Liam are busto, Tracy did well but followed not too long after. I'm in decent shape despite having not been involved in any major hands for a while. Two absolutely key hands for me at this point, both with AKo.

1) AKo in the SB, drunk button minraises, I tank for a while and elect to just call. BB folds, flop KK9. I check - I called preflop because I know by checking to him I can get teh drunk guy to push on any flop. Obviously he pushes, I beat him into the pot, he shows T3o and I don't even notice I made quads on the river because he was drawing dead on the turn.

2) AKo in MP, I raise, folds to SB who pushes a short but reasonable stack. I don't know the exact numbers but basically I call and win, I cruise to the final table. I call and lose, and I'm right back in the middle of the pack with 3 tables left. Against most players I'd call this relatively quickly, but SB had been very quiet - since I'd been moved to the table I don't remember him having played a hand. After about 5 minutes of my thought processes being "ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap", they turn to "screw it, let's gamble", and I call. Villain shows KQo and I'm happy because I know this isn't pokerstars and so the Q isn't going to hit. It doesn't, and the hand propels me to chip leader status.

Not a lot happens before we get down to the final table - I steal successfully from LP a couple of times and have to lay a steal attempt down to a reraise, and I get offered about 43768 drinks from the other guys (43767 of which I politely reject because I'm knackered enough as it is). Usually, online, I'd use the bigstack aggressively and open up, but something stops me from doing so here, and I can't really explain it or justify it. I ultimately stuck to a generally TAG game throughout.

Anyway, there are quite a few short stacks at the final table (I was 2nd or 3rd in chips), and they start getting unceremoniously dumped out. I pick a perfect time to be relatively card dead - one guy in particular opposite me is LAGging it up with a big stack. A couple of SB steals from the uber-tight guy to my left keep me tiding over, until I pick up AA in MP. Guy to my right raises for about half my stack, I have no option but to push, all folds to the original raiser who for some reason thinks his AT isn't any good :(. Regardless, it's a nice pot to pick up.

We have a phase 5-6 handed where two very short stacks keep pushing, and myself and the guy to my right keep calling with our bigstacks and checking it down (I knew he would check hands like this down with me after the first occasion because of some comments he made). Let me tell you, if online poker is rigged against the short stacks, live poker is obviously the opposite! One particular hand where my 88 and other bigstack's AK both lost to a shortstack's J9 sticks in the mind, though there were half a dozen more similar hands.

Around about this time, Liam comes up to me to give me a good luck message. It was something along the lines of "haaacccclugggguuuuuuchhggg", which is either some kind of mystical gaelic blessing, or some kind of random crap blurted out as the result of extreme drunkenness. I'll let you decide. Liam and Tracy retire to the B&B not long after this

Anyway, long story short, I wind up finishing second for £896.80, which was nice. My shortstacked A4 loses to 66 all in preflop HU, but to be honest it was 4:30am at the time and I just wanted some sleep. The guy who won was a really nice guy who I'd been chatting to a bit (he'd been sat next to me from about 3 tables left through to the end), and I'm glad that if I couldn't win, he did. 8 hours of playing poker, 4:30am, having got up at 6:00am the previous moning, well, you can guess what sort of condition I was in.

We had a deal whereby we split all profits between the four of us (Tracy didn't want in on the deal obviously because she thinks she was better than us all - more fool her!). Considering we're all of roughly equal ability, it seemed like a good idea - in fact I have to admit I thought I was getting the good end of the bargain at the time because the others had more MTT experience and more live experience. Regardless, I'm happy enough with bragging rights for the weekend!

Astonishingly, we don't get up in time for breakfast at the B&B, or indeed for the midday event on Saturday, though the sense in playing in a £30 rebuy after the day we'd had yesterday was probably debatable.

We do play the £100 freezeout in the evening though. I don't particularly want to talk about that one, and I don't think the others do either. All I will say is I find it infinitely more frustrating going out because of poor play on my part then taking a 'bad beat', and I hate TT. I really hate it, it sucks nearly as much as Central Trains. We were all out by the first break bar Colin, and he bust on the first hand after the break.

We spend the rest of the evening (and morning, up until some ridiculous time like 6am) playing doss-about £5 donk n gos between the five of us. I think we all ultimately agreed this was the most fun we'd had all weekend. Nobody ended up or down more than a couple of buyins, but then again nobody was really taking it all that seriously anyway, disregarding Jon and Colin who for some reason started actually playing properly when HU with each other - big personal rivalry? ^^

Anyway, we ended up getting to sleep at about 6:30am on Sunday morning, and getting rudely awoken at about 10:00am because the cleaner had to sort the rooms out. I think we were all a little subdued and zombified on the Sunday - we went into Colchester to get some food before going our separate ways.

Everyone was awesome. I'm not just saying that, I really mean it. I even managed to forgive Colin for the baseball cap by the end of the weekend, Jon was hilarious especially on the Saturday night/Sunday morning donk n go-athon, and you couldn't wish to meet two nicer people than Liam and Tracy, a couple who the romance just oozes off (he gets incredibly drunk and she drags him home and doesn't even moan about it the next morning - it's obviously true love)

I get a Central Train back home on the Sunday afternoon. It sucked. I was also very glad I'd booked the Monday off work, as I slept through most of it.
 
tenbob

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^^^^^^^^^^
Censored version

Prepare for the You-Tube drunk videos, and the REAL story !
 
gord962

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great story Chris ;) Thanks for sharing the adventure!!!
 
Tammy

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^^^^^^^^^^
Censored version

Prepare for the You-Tube drunk videos, and the REAL story !
I can't wait! Loved the pics in the gallery! :D

Chris, awesome write-up! I so wish I could somehow have been there! I would love to meet you all in the flesh. :) If you guys are ever headed for Las Vegas, you had better let me know!
 
Debi

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Great of you to share that with all of us - can't help but get that "wish I had been there" feeling. I have met quite a few of the friends I have made playing poker in the US, England and ireland - and it almost always goes like that.

Glad that all of you had such a great time!!
 
Dorkus Malorkus

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There are a couple of pics in the gallery that tb put up too, I forgot to mention. >_>
 
Debi

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There are a couple of pics in the gallery that tb put up too, I forgot to mention. >_>

Yea - but we need one of you with your eyes open that isn't a sideshot!

(ps - you have a great sense of humor that you should reveal more often, enjoyed reading this story)
 
Jack Daniels

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...Anyway, long story short...
Too late for that. LOL :p

But it was a great write up. Thanks for sharing it all. I sat here reading it and laughing. My favorite part was about the sucky trains. LOL. Sounds like all had a great time and that the poker was a good diversion from everything else.

Oh, and can't wait to see the videos. :D
 
Tammy

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(ps - you have a great sense of humor that you should reveal more often, enjoyed reading this story)
Of course I know this about Chris (I chat with him, tb, Nick, often). Chris is really a laugh riot, and I can't imagine how fun it would be to meet him in person! Woot! Woot! ;)
 
DESSERTLADY

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Great story, especially the sucky trains and the reference to the donks in baseball caps;) Sounds like you all had a blast.

I'm in agreement with JQ on this one. It made me want to be there and if you all ever get this way(we do have poker in Oklahoma:D you know ) Let me know.
 
Tammy

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjxR3pB9_-w

Gonna upload another one now, they take ages to upload.
:laugh: I love Tracy's dealing style! :p Took me a minute to get used to the accents (you all have an American accent when I read your posts...:D). Good stuff TB...little shaky on the camera work, but I suppose it's to be expected in the wee hours of the morning...;)
 
KillerKat

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Hi peeps, well it’s a been awhile since I was on here, but Liam told me about the great post Chris had put up so I thought I had to have a look. Great post Chris by the way.

Well to reiterate what Chris has said it was an awesome weekend. Full of great craic and lots of drink, for some more a bigger consumption than others (Mr. TB).
One little story I have to add. On the Friday night when Liam was getting progressively drunker I spotted him at a cash table. Obviously this filled me with much dread in his state this was not good. So I casually go over to the table to see what was going on. On approaching the table a few of the players were leaving except for one guy and Liam. So this guy wants to play heads up with Liam, I wonder why.

Ok this is a 50 sterling NL cash table. I am getting worried. Cards are dealt, Liam raises, other dude reraises, Liam thinks for like a second and calls his all in. I’m like what the hell has he. He turns over q bloody 10 off suit, what the hell was he doing, that’s it I say you gone too far. Other guy turns over kj, flop dealt, Liam hits his q. then the other donk tries to claim he has a straight, Liam goes oh ok here you go in a very drunkenly Irish way.
I’m like hold on a second you don’t have a 10, how could you have a straight, he pushes it a bit further and realizes he ain’t getting anywhere with me around. I tell Liam that’s enough, you’re not playing any more poker in this state, much to the disappointment of the other guy.

Morale of the story, don’t think you can outplay a drunken Irish man……

Oh and a message to Jon, I thought it was illegal for 15 year olds to play poker. How did you get through!!
 
buckster436

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Nice write-up,, im like dakota, wish i could have been there,,,, So, the Moral of the Story is> You Hate Trains <LOL,LOL,, sounds like you all had a great time,, now im jealous,,lol>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> buck:cool: :D
PS> nice pictures guys,, we Finally got a look at Grumbledook,, we all been waiting over a year for that pic,,lol,,,and i noticed dakotas picture there too, i should visit the pic gallery more often,,
 
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Fantastic weekend

I dont need to add a great deal, other than wishing I hadnt worn that gay cap!!
 
Tammy

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KillerKat said:
Morale of the story, don’t think you can outplay a drunken Irish man……
Especially when a good Irish lass has his back! :)
 
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