Time Management

[foldpre]

Having been married for more than 10 years and having a 2-year-old daughter, I love them both dearly.

Originally from india, I now live in the UK. I lived in the USA for seven years before moving here. I have played poker recreationally for more than a decade. I lost more than $500K in total to the game, and I had to undergo therapy to quit. None of my family is aware that I had a poker addiction and that I have lost so much money. After quitting for about a year or two, I re-started playing once a week, after negotiating with my wife, playing freerolls, and drinking cider during the games. My wife didn't like that I was coming home around 1/2/3 AM. When my wife asked me to come early around 10 pm, I switched to playing cash games for a few days and won.

My wife again asked me to come home early when I was coming home around midnight. I couldn't get up from playing after I said okay. Now, my wife is understandably super angry and pissed. Please go on and bash me, but looking for pointers to improve my life.

Should I continue playing? Just quit it or just play tournaments? Should I avoid playing till my daughter is old enough? Also, my wife cannot understand why do I need to go out once a week and she thinks that I am getting away from the family once a week because of her which is definitely not the case.

 

[dannystanks]

I’m not going to bash or judge you at all.
Time is something you will never get back. You are missing time with your family who loves you and needs you to play poker. But poker is an addiction for you, you know this and went through therapy to help you get your life back in order. Your wife is never going to understand why you need this so much in your life because it has caused so much pain for you in your past.
Your going to have to ask yourself what you want more in life, continue what your doing and causing pain or stop and be the husband your wife wants you to be without poker.
Have you thought of going back into therapy? This would be my advice for you my friend. Sorry that poker has ruined your past but you can do this, make the right choices and then when you get old you can look back and be happy where you are in life.

 

[Rost]

Having been married for more than 10 years and having a 2-year-old daughter, I love them both dearly.

Originally from India, I now live in the UK. I lived in the USA for seven years before moving here. I have played poker recreationally for more than a decade. I lost more than $500K in total to the game, and I had to undergo therapy to quit. None of my family is aware that I had a poker addiction and that I have lost so much money. After quitting for about a year or two, I re-started playing once a week, after negotiating with my wife, playing freerolls, and drinking cider during the games. My wife didn't like that I was coming home around 1/2/3 AM. When my wife asked me to come early around 10 pm, I switched to playing cash games for a few days and won.

My wife again asked me to come home early when I was coming home around midnight. I couldn't get up from playing after I said okay. Now, my wife is understandably super angry and pissed. Please go on and bash me, but looking for pointers to improve my life.

Should I continue playing? Just quit it or just play tournaments? Should I avoid playing till my daughter is old enough? Also, my wife cannot understand why do I need to go out once a week and she thinks that I am getting away from the family once a week because of her which is definitely not the case.

You have a choice. On the one hand, you have your family, on the other hand, you have a game of poker. Just think about what is more important to you and make your choice. If you really love your wife and your daughter, the choice will obviously not be difficult
You shouldn't spoil your life for such trifles as poker. What you have now is much more important than anything else, just think about it and appreciate what you have.

 

[john_entony]

So what's the problem to playing poker online and continuing to drink cider in the comfort of your own home? And why does your daughter matter about poker? How does her coming of age help you resume playing poker if it's your wife who's angry, not your daughter? Let me give you this advice: cider is great, but a good lager is still better.

 

[Cooking]

For your history, you already had problems with gambling before, so, I can understand your wife. I've always read that if you are a gambling addicted, you rarely will be able to play only recreationally and eventually you will come back to your old habits. You stayed away for 1-2 years, which is great. There is probably a reason why you felt you need to comeback to play poker after years, maybe this is something you need to work on therapy again. Only you know what's best for you, but if I was you I would try to quit poker again, find another hobby (a healthy one) and enjoy my family. But of course I know this is easier said than done.

 

[hardongear]

Just quit man you can't seemingly handle poker as a safe and healthy hobby and keep your family happy, safe and money rolling in. And to top it off you're not even a winning player so you're not gaining anything from poker but misery.

Find a better healthy hobby for you and your families own good.

Cheers!!!

 

[fundiver199]

I lost more than $500K in total to the game, and I had to undergo therapy to quit.

In that situation it seems like a bad idea to start playing again. Much better to stick to the decision, you made back then, and quit for good.

 

[Debi]

Put your family first. Poker is not that important.

 

[steve01991]

Having been married for more than 10 years and having a 2-year-old daughter, I love them both dearly.

Originally from India, I now live in the UK. I lived in the USA for seven years before moving here. I have played poker recreationally for more than a decade. I lost more than $500K in total to the game, and I had to undergo therapy to quit. None of my family is aware that I had a poker addiction and that I have lost so much money. After quitting for about a year or two, I re-started playing once a week, after negotiating with my wife, playing freerolls, and drinking cider during the games. My wife didn't like that I was coming home around 1/2/3 AM. When my wife asked me to come early around 10 pm, I switched to playing cash games for a few days and won.

My wife again asked me to come home early when I was coming home around midnight. I couldn't get up from playing after I said okay. Now, my wife is understandably super angry and pissed. Please go on and bash me, but looking for pointers to improve my life.

Should I continue playing? Just quit it or just play tournaments? Should I avoid playing till my daughter is old enough? Also, my wife cannot understand why do I need to go out once a week and she thinks that I am getting away from the family once a week because of her which is definitely not the case.

I have been married for over 38 yrs. Three grown children and three grand children. I cannot think of playing poker instead of being with them, they are my life and i treat them as such. I think you have to sit back and ask yourself what is most important to you. If your wife and child are not the most important things in your life, you are not going to be happy, even if you win at poker, which clearly, you are not that good at. Make your wife and child your priority and enjoy them, they are the only things in your life that can make you happy!

 

[s0ftdumps]

Having been married for more than 10 years and having a 2-year-old daughter, I love them both dearly.

Originally from India, I now live in the UK. I lived in the USA for seven years before moving here. I have played poker recreationally for more than a decade. I lost more than $500K in total to the game, and I had to undergo therapy to quit. None of my family is aware that I had a poker addiction and that I have lost so much money. After quitting for about a year or two, I re-started playing once a week, after negotiating with my wife, playing freerolls, and drinking cider during the games. My wife didn't like that I was coming home around 1/2/3 AM. When my wife asked me to come early around 10 pm, I switched to playing cash games for a few days and won.

My wife again asked me to come home early when I was coming home around midnight. I couldn't get up from playing after I said okay. Now, my wife is understandably super angry and pissed. Please go on and bash me, but looking for pointers to improve my life.

Should I continue playing? Just quit it or just play tournaments? Should I avoid playing till my daughter is old enough? Also, my wife cannot understand why do I need to go out once a week and she thinks that I am getting away from the family once a week because of her which is definitely not the case.

I think it's important to acknowledge that your wife’s feelings are entirely valid. From her perspective, poker has already been a source of tension, especially considering the late nights and your past addiction. Even though you’ve worked out an arrangement with her, it seems like it’s not providing the balance both of you need right now.

 

[Pokerpoet2]

Having been married for more than 10 years and having a 2-year-old daughter, I love them both dearly.

Originally from India, I now live in the UK. I lived in the USA for seven years before moving here. I have played poker recreationally for more than a decade. I lost more than $500K in total to the game, and I had to undergo therapy to quit. None of my family is aware that I had a poker addiction and that I have lost so much money. After quitting for about a year or two, I re-started playing once a week, after negotiating with my wife, playing freerolls, and drinking cider during the games. My wife didn't like that I was coming home around 1/2/3 AM. When my wife asked me to come early around 10 pm, I switched to playing cash games for a few days and won.

My wife again asked me to come home early when I was coming home around midnight. I couldn't get up from playing after I said okay. Now, my wife is understandably super angry and pissed. Please go on and bash me, but looking for pointers to improve my life.

Should I continue playing? Just quit it or just play tournaments? Should I avoid playing till my daughter is old enough? Also, my wife cannot understand why do I need to go out once a week and she thinks that I am getting away from the family once a week because of her which is definitely not the case.

I must consider myself very lucky having a Wife that understands the passion I had for the game, I regularly went out once a week to play Poker, but as I was also the TD at my local Pub and I organised the games, I was always there to the bitter end and often didn't get home until the early hours of the next day.
I suppose that when I was a Taxi Driver she got used to that, as some fares could take me any where, I remember one such evening I got a Job that took me over 400 miles away from home, so I didn't get home until midday the next day, but I always phoned her when I got a long distance job.
I think the only time she actually complained about me playing Poker was one night as my Friend pulled up outside to take me to one game, she said she needed some extra cash to buy some holiday clothes, as we were leaving to go on vacation in a day or two, I asked her how much? and as she wouldn't put a figure on it, I just said "Look, I will leave you my Poker winnings on the Coffee Table" her reply was "Who say's you are going to Win?" and I just ignored her as I walked out the door.
The game I went to used to have some strange rules one being if you got busted before the break, you could re-buy but you only got the add-on that everyone else got for free if they were still in the game. I was busted early on and as I was enjoying a Cigarette with my Friend on the break I explained how I had made a Full house, but unfortunately my opposition made a bigger one so was busted out of the game, He asked me if I was going to buy back in and I said I have to, I promised her indoors I would give her my winnings. To which he just laughed, he knew it was an almost impossible task.
Sitting back down when the game restarted, I took a gamble, A guy I knew didn't like limpers when he was on the BB and always put in a raise if he got any, He was on the BB so I limped along with two other players, as I suspected the BB raised, so I pushed all-in with Pocket Aces, As my stack was small in comparison to others who had been in the game and got their free add-on, He naturally called and my Aces held up. on the very next hand I was dealt K/K and he started to raise me again. so I shoved a second time and he snap called with J/J, which doubled me up again. I eventually went on to win the game and Left my Winnings on the Coffee Table for my Wife, who just left me a note saying "I guess you won then"
She never complained again.

 

[Lena M]

Poker is just a game, just a game. Your family, your life, it's probably the most valuable thing you can have. Don't do anything stupid.