Family Question

[Yoda82]

Has anyone here had a family members (specifically spouse) that has been hesitant or flat out unsupportive of your passion for poker? My fiance (and mother of my daughter) had a bad family experience where an uncle lost everything his family owned (money, house, car, etc..) because of gambling. I have been playing poker since I was a child using pennies or candy to play 5 card draw. I am currently trying to refine my skill so that I have the option of a second career, or at least something that can do to score some extra money on the side.

If you have had this complication, what did you do to overcome it, or allay the fears of your SO/FM? Right now, I am trying to build my bankroll from 0 using freerolls, but she still fears that I won't have the discipline to avoid putting our money into play.

 

[HaroldHouse]

Interesting. Who knows you better than her? I would say dont give up especially playing freerolls as long as you know you can control your game. But always keep her opinion in mind. Maybe take your time building your bankroll and never deposit. But always keep a check on yourself because she has reason to worry wether past experience or her in depth knowledge of you. I think if you cant start from $0 and never deposit, you were never going to have a career or side job as poker and probably would never be profitable. Just my thoughts.

 

[azoppina609]

Yes, my family has been unsupportive, even though I've never lost or deposited any relatively large amount of money. (actually i have withdrawn about the same amount) But its important to note, they dont like anything that I enjoy and donate a large portion of my time to soo it wasnt pokers fault

 

[Yoda82]

Yes, my family has been unsupportive, even though I've never lost or deposited any relatively large amount of money. (actually i have withdrawn about the same amount) But its important to note, they dont like anything that I enjoy and donate a large portion of my time to soo it wasnt pokers fault

Before I got sent overseas and met my current fiance, my family wasn't very supportive of my playing poker either. Even though I had shown that I could make a little bit of extra money at it, they continued to tell me I should focus on other things and not risk my money. But, those are people that I could put distance between them and myself, I can't (and absolutely refuse) to be distant from my fiance and daughter. A big chunk of my decision to really buckle down, study and refine the craft, is the allure of being able to set better hours (vs the average 50 hour work week I have now) and thus have more time to watch my infant girl grow up.

 

[azoppina609]

Before I got sent overseas and met my current fiance, my family wasn't very supportive of my playing poker either. Even though I had shown that I could make a little bit of extra money at it, they continued to tell me I should focus on other things and not risk my money. But, those are people that I could put distance between them and myself, I can't (and absolutely refuse) to be distant from my fiance and daughter. A big chunk of my decision to really buckle down, study and refine the craft, is the allure of being able to set better hours (vs the average 50 hour work week I have now) and thus have more time to watch my infant girl grow up.

Well if it honestly does work for you I think that is a great and beautiful thing. I honestly have never risked more than about 20 dollars at a time. And my main focus was GTD freerolls on every site(with no deposit signup bonuses). This was when NJ first legalized it so they had very few players signing up in pretty large jackpot freerolls. I would normally get between 15-30 players in average 100$ GTD tourneys. The odds were very good, and the players were not. This is no longer the case and I have just restarted playing again. But back then I got away with withdrawing weekly for really no risk. Lasted a solid 6 months or so

And let's face it freerolls are not a risk, but the time is honestly barely worth it. What site do you play on? I find wsop and acr best for freerolls. I am doing the same. I place a few cents fairly often. but lose it rebuying in. Also, where do you invest your cents at?

 

[terryk]

Trust isn't given,,,it's earned,,,

 

[kowrip]

I recommend that you talk to her about how you will manage your bankroll. Keep your stakes very low compared to your income. Basically, treat your poker money more like entertainment money. That is pretty much what I do. I only play tournaments a few times a year, spending $100 - $500 on buy-ins for each. Plus, I play low stakes cash games or tournaments with friends. I'm probably not spending more than $1000 over the course of a year on poker, so I can easily justify that expense. I know people who spend $100 each weekend drinking at bars. So, my "hobby" is a lot less expensive than that ! Follow what Doyle Brunson says. Losing your entire stack and having to reload shouldn't be any more stressful to you than buying a hamburger.

 

[molokheia]

Hi there
Indeed discipline is the most important this in Poker as well as in any other aspect of life
If you dont have it together with focus, studies then you should look for somthing else
Rgds

 

[MrPokerVerse]

Good luck with the poker career. You will have plenty of time enjoying the company of those at the table. My guess it wont be around the dining room table though.

 

[WiredKs]

I have some bad news. Poker is not for you so long as your with this partner. Her prejudice is deep and pressuring her to accept it is unfair to her.

Hopefully she's 'the one', because your giving up a passion of yours for her.

 

[tauri103]

most professional poker players say that they have had to stop listening to their families and trust their judgment and abilities. personally my family and loved ones never really love to see me to play poker for hours but by force they get used to it.

 

[Pimp 007 x]

Women are very jealous of how you spend your personal time... They feel threatened/believe that poker means more to you than their well being.

I've been there done that. It's definitely not exclusive to poker. Something as normal as staying one our late at work, might fire a few red flags specially if it is a repited occasion.

Even women who are not tied to you (family wise) can show symptoms of being jealous of you by not putting more attention to them, for example: a coworker that you spend most of your shift with...

Not all women are like this, just to clarify.... Some are worse! lol jk

 

[pokerpie]

I know exactly what you mean by being surrounded my non-supportive family/friends. Pretty much my entire family except one of my younger brothers are supportive of me playing poker. I think over time you just have to show them through results that whatever "stigma" they have bothering them should be avoided because at the end of the day it's something I enjoy and they don't have much say in the matter.

 

[xOneCoolHandx]

Has anyone here had a family members (specifically spouse) that has been hesitant or flat out unsupportive of your passion for poker? My fiance (and mother of my daughter) had a bad family experience where an uncle lost everything his family owned (money, house, car, etc..) because of gambling. I have been playing poker since I was a child using pennies or candy to play 5 card draw. I am currently trying to refine my skill so that I have the option of a second career, or at least something that can do to score some extra money on the side.

If you have had this complication, what did you do to overcome it, or allay the fears of your SO/FM? Right now, I am trying to build my bankroll from 0 using freerolls, but she still fears that I won't have the discipline to avoid putting our money into play.

I have has this problem in the past with my wife. When we got together, I was basically playing semi-professionally (I was part time bartending but making much more money playing live poker)... my then gf (now wife) even got a job dealing cards at the casino I played at so she could see me more. After a bad run, she convinced me to quit for awhile. I ended up playing recreationally from time to time but I went back to school and then to law school and then to building my practice. Now, I am playing more often again and my wife is apprehensive about it. I have built a solid bankroll on ACR and BC through no deposit bonuses and freerolls, so I haven't put any real money in...that's not really her concern though. She is more concerned that I am back to playing every night (except when preparing for trial). I think she is more afraid that her and the kids are not going to get my time and attention, so I give her more attention through the day and I generally wait until the kids are in bed before I play. I also get her involved by letting her play too (she is a very different than me, but a terrific player)...This seems to keep it peaceful at home.

 

[frost234]

Good luck

 

[Zvezda kz]

All my relatives and friends absolutely do not support my hobby for poker. Absolutely everyone thinks that winning poker is just luck. And I do not see the point in convincing this; it is a waste of time and energy.
It is also impossible to prove the theory of relativity or the theory of Einstein's strings to a person far from physics, he does not need it and does not bring benefits in ordinary life. But the average person is more interested in witchcraft or zombies, although this has nothing to do with reality.

 

[david1bear]

Has anyone here had a family members (specifically spouse) that has been hesitant or flat out unsupportive of your passion for poker? My fiance (and mother of my daughter) had a bad family experience where an uncle lost everything his family owned (money, house, car, etc..) because of gambling. I have been playing poker since I was a child using pennies or candy to play 5 card draw. I am currently trying to refine my skill so that I have the option of a second career, or at least something that can do to score some extra money on the side.

If you have had this complication, what did you do to overcome it, or allay the fears of your SO/FM? Right now, I am trying to build my bankroll from 0 using freerolls, but she still fears that I won't have the discipline to avoid putting our money into play.

:ciao: howdy friend, it is horrible to see someone, or even know someone who loses to that extreme. I have been there but not that extreme. I have never played more then a thousand in one night, month or week. I have learned my lesson and don't take so much to the casino or put so much on the computer:0) If I take three hundred to the casino I play 100 at a time and if my cards aren't hitting or I'm not getting good cards I call it a night. I put a hundred on the computer at a time if I lose that in a day or two I wait at least a week to refill:0) But if I where you I would do live casino instead of computer, I have been playing for three months now and I feel like the computer poker games are scammed, just too tainted for me. Family is important if gambling is causing problems and you are not benefiting from it then you should move on and start playing for candy and fun again:0) Have fun and good luck out there:wavey:

 

[neptun1914]

I am not married so can't tell about that but my parents are relatively neutral to my hobby. They are suspicious to everything related with gambling but they trust me that i am not a gambling character and play to learn the game and not to squander money on it.

Maybe your best option is to show her your profile in the room where you play so that she can see that you do not deposit any big amounts of money and you play responsibly and as a hobby. As people say proof is in the pudding.

 

[Jilty]

Purely a decision you need to make, if your in the green then I don't see why you shouldn't play poker but if your in the red then you might need to get re-asses what is happening in your game and if you feel the juice is worth the squeeze (time, commitments, etc) then study and play well.

 

[Inequitas]

Has anyone here had a family members (specifically spouse) that has been hesitant or flat out unsupportive of your passion for poker?

If you have had this complication, what did you do to overcome it, or allay the fears of your SO/FM? Right now, I am trying to build my bankroll from 0 using freerolls, but she still fears that I won't have the discipline to avoid putting our money into play.

Dont know what SO/FM Means?

If you're talking about Your Spouse Then Yes, I've had Problems, As many Others Would Have too...

It Comes down to trust, I Mean How Many Women Have said "It's Not You, It's the Experiences I've Had With an Ex-partner" hmmmm Or "My Uncle Couldn't control him self, what chance have you?"

That's the Thing, Trust, love and Doubt are so intertwined but very real in every relationship...

It Comes Down To "I'm Not Your Uncle", "If I Was this would be a pretty sick relationship" lol "But Seriously, I trust you every time YOU take my cash card shopping, please give me the benefit of doubt and let me ENJOY Something Other than you and the kids every so often and have some faith, YOU chose the right man to love and I wont let you down!!"

Does That Make Sense?

Really?

Suppose its relative (Einstein got it right) to the sexual gender what trust, faith and love mean...

Confidence, hmmmm what confidence do you bring into the relationship? Trust and Confidence are pretty much hand in hand....

If you are struggling in other departments and have failed her in some other way then YES your partner will always have an argument supported in her own minds factual experience...

Negotiate a treaty, one that is totally transparent... Offering that which will ease worry of all parties concerned...

You Will Never do What the Uncle Did!!! First Sign Of coming off the agreed tracks will end the agreement.

Good Luck my friend i hope it works out what ever you do...Just Be Honest... Be true to your self... Be the Loving Man Who Will Always Be True To Your Own Oath before any thing else and every thing else will be just perfect...

Keep Living the Dream...

Stop When the Fun Stops or When your Partners Faith, Love And Trust just isn't enough...

 

[okeedokalee]

Only the very best have a second career from poker. I would stop now.
Play for fun only.

 

[Inequitas]

Women are very jealous I've been there done that.

staying one our late at work, might fire a few red flags specially if it is a repited occasion.

Even women who are not tied to you, show symptoms of being jealous of you by not putting more attention to them, for example: a coworker that you spend most of your shift with...

just to clarify.... Some are worse! lol jk

OMG Sounds Like the Old Pun "Poker" or "Poke HER" Stop spending extra time at work after hours and the Mrs and Co-worker will cool off LMAO

Honestly You Got It Coming To You!!! LOL

My God I bet You (Pimp 007 x) Play Poker Like You Play Life, Very Lose, Lover More Than Aggressor!

What Ever... Player!!!

Show Your Mrs Your Last Post lol And Bluff "I'm Just Helping One Of my Co-Members of CardsChat Who's Going Through a bad Time"...

LMAO

KEEP LIVING THE DREAM!!!

Good Luck!!

PS The Coworker is Jealous of the Wife Not the Poker Buddy...!

 

[mtmigmike]

My wife is against my poker game, because when I play, I’m very nervous, so I try to play only freeroll.

 

[MishkaZL]

I believe that freerolls are a very good option for building a bankroll. In addition, you have the opportunity to gain valuable experience at no extra cost. I am convinced that you must always be patient and disciplined in order to become a successful player in the future.

 

[georgi krastev]

My brother once told me - that i'm not suitable for a gambler!

:listen: