I also find myself frequently torn between the two "goals". For me at least, this is a pre flop phenomenon as "patience" is no longer a factor post flop. So...essentially we're talking about preflop mindset and goals, right?
I think that a good tourney player doesn't find themselves picking between aggression OR patience too often....they find a way to have them both.
here is something I've been working on to try and improve this issue you are talking about
To CALL a raise (passive move) I must have Either position or spectacular pot odds. If I don't have either one, then I must raise or fold. This forces me to pass up on a lot of marginal spots (patience) and then pick a few to play very strongly (aggression).
This is just an exercise to develop my discipline...I don't plan on keeping this up forever, and just about every tourney I play I find myself breaking this "rule" at least once...but I have to have a good reason for it and I must explain it to myself in my head WHY I'm allowed to break this rule this time before I do it.
Another exercise I've been doing with my game (only works live) is since I don't look at my cards until the action folds to me, I predetermine which cards I will act with in advance before looking at them including suited-ness.
So if I'm in MP1 before it folds to me I'll have told myself "OK, this hand if it folds to me I'm raising 66+, AJ+, A9s, KQs, 89s". That way if I look down at A9o or 78s I'm not tempted to be impatient and just play it cuz It looks OK and it's my turn to act. I play according to decisions I've made about the situations, not according to how I feel about my 2 cards when I see them "But it's A8 suited...that's close to A9s and it's so pretty and spades really are my favorite anyways....so I'm gonna play it just this one time" none of that crap.