Originally Posted by kissapig
I have a problem with big bets . If I have 100 bb and only one other player at the table with a comparable stack, eventually I will get into a situation where I am in position to fold but I don't. I know, in retrospect, that I should never have called with a pair of tens to a big bet on a rivered ace. Problem is I tell myself that it has to be a bluff and call down half my stack. Or I chase a flush with a bunch of pot bets until the river, wind up with a mid level pair and check call hoping for a bluff that never shows up. Bye bye stack again. This seems to be a pattern for me. Seems to happen when I am at or near the lead in a tourney and seated with another big stack. Stack vs stack. Is it an ego thing? Is there some basic betting pattern that would limit the loss? Only lose 20% on a flush draw or something like that? It takes a while to build that stack and I seem to lose it in 2 or 3 hands.
I highlighted the problems you're having. When you have a big flush draw or combo draw, you should be the one doing the betting and putting your chips to use. Chips are ammo and when you have more of them, you should be winning more than your share of pots with split equities, not bleeding them off passively.
When you're the big stack, use it to put pressure on other players. Playing passively with a bigstack is a surefire way to lose. Remember that when people are betting into you 3 streets, they know they don't have fold equity because you can afford to make the call so bluffing big stacks rarely happens. Take away pots when people are weak and use fold equity when you have it but recognize when people are making a stand.
However, remember that you are going to lose most tournaments regardless of your chip position at any given moment.