jerohit you don't have to be like that, but it's going to take some work. One thing you should get in your mind is that you are not alone. Many of us have been where you are, and many of us have overcome the problems you face. Yeah I can understand that you don't know what's happening because your mind is full of bull shit, and you are real confused and you really don't know where to start working on all those problems. Well you start with one thing and when you get that one under control, you work on another one. It's going to take time, because there is no fast way to deal with serious problems. So if you are not willing to put in the time and work to fix what's broken, then you need to quit playing poker all together because it's going to get worse. You know what I did with these same problems? I gave up on my own thinking and I let these guys/gals do my thinking for me. I posted the problems and I done everything they told me to do. There was one peice of advice that helped me more than anything else. I was told that I had to deal with my inter demons before I would get better. So for the next 6 months I only worked on my tilt problem.and I found out that I was full of anger, hate, and everything that goes with it. and I'm greatfull I was told that, and today I can handle whatever comes my way with out getting mad as hell and taking it out on whatever was the closest. I know this is getting long, so going to finish up pretty quick. You don't have confidence because you won't let yourself believe that you can be the player you want to be, so you just keep believing you are a loser and nothing can change that. Well it surely won't change until you do something about it, and really you are the only one who can make it change. The thoughts you are having about the poker site are just stupid on your part. I think you are saying that because you have to blame it on something or somebody other than yourself. And this is my last word for now. Why would you think you are so special that the poker site would waste their time picking on poor little you? Well I'm done but I hope you will find something here that makes sense to you. GL to you