You are doing just like I done 4 years ago. All I could do was think about the bad things going on with my game. I would get so mad that I would even play crazy betting on air and bluffing with less. I don't know how much money I lost like that, but it was a lot and everything I could sell to keep playing was gone too. That shit wasn't funny to me and it was even worst on my family. So I only had one choise and that was to find some kind of help. So here I am and everything from the past is gone, and I'm the one in control of my game. I very seldom tilt, but I do and just a week or so ago I seen I was headed down that road again, but I put it in check pretty quick. But back to 4 years ago when I got active here. Someone told me that I had to deal with my inter demons or things would not get better. Hell I didn't know what my inter demons were. But I figured it out, and when I did I come face to face with myself and the deep depression, anger, and I had even come to hate poker. So you know what I did? The only thing I done for 6 months was to work on my tilt problem. At that point I put the past in the damn past and forgot about it. And the only poker I played was our freerolls
here. I even won one at ACR and then one at BCP. WOW I was on the top of the world with two small BRs. I've never won another one. Maybe a small cash, but I played 2 years on those BRs And last of all, I play pretty good but most of all I'm happy most of the time, and I'm not letting anything turn me around. Sorry this is so long and GL to you. OH you can do the same.