Please Help Analyzing This Hand

Hi everyone,
I've been away for awhile and thought I'd like to share a hand that I played in one of my recent poker games. It is a hand I have never encountered in this situation and one I hope to never come across again.
Please bear with me as I set it up so that you may understand all the deatails and maybe give me some advice on how you would have played the hand.
Now, I'm the type of person who figures that I can beat anyone, anywhere, in a game of poker. So naturally, I travel the highways and backroads of this great country of ours and stop anywhere that a game of Limit Hold 'em is being played. Of course this involves playing in your usual alleyways as well as the finest casinos of this nation.
Well, I decided to stop in a tavern that was advertising my favorite game of poker. I did the usual and walked in with a limp, feigning weakness, and picked the first table I saw with an open seat and sat down. When I looked up to see who I was playing against, I must say that this was the first time I had ever been intimidated at the poker table before I played the first hand. Staring back at me were nine other players who must have worked at the same steel factory down the road. Thick necks, muscle bound, and not a skinny one in the bunch. They didn't seem too friendly either. Nothing but scowls and not one "how do you do" from any of them.
So I began reassessing why the hell I put my 5' 8" 110 pound body in that situation just to satisfy an obsession to leave every poker game with a positive cash flow. I have half a mil in poker winnings stashed in a lockbox in my backyard by the elm tree, so why endure something like this?
I decided it was too late to do anything. After all, I already sat down. I figured I better lose some cash and save my ass, if you know what I mean. I just couldn't bring myself to believe that these thugs were going to let me leave alive with any of their hard earned cash.
So, I paid my $400 BB and decided to fold and go. Sit and go, if you get my drift. And damn it, instinct took over. I saw bullets, (not the ones all of them had loaded in those great intimidators in their belts), pocket aces. My blood got flowing, the adrenaline kicked in and I was jamming the pot so quick and furious that before I knew it, I flipped the aces, looked at the board and almost jumped out of my chair I was so excited. Two aces on the board and a nice variety of colors in the other cards. As I looked at the pot, and everyone elses cards, I realized that they had all stayed in and jammed the pot themselves with reraises. Hmm, nice payday. Then reality set in.
Avoiding eye contact, I gingerly pulled the chips towards me. I may have mumbled something about being sorry, but the details of that moment are a little fuzzy. I hope that one detail will not keep you from being able to help me with my question.
Okay, now I was stuck in this dive until they won their money back. I paid my SB and breathed a sigh of relief when I was dealt 2-7 off suit. Now I had determined that these guys were gamblers, not poker players. They were going to reraise everything and hope for the best. If things got too bad, they could just shoot you. I put as much money into the pot as I could and m**********r, wouldn't you know it. Sevens full of twos. I had won another huge pot and was hoping the place stayed open 24/7.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking. I could have folded. But, I'm a big believer in compassion and believe all poker players should be able to put themselves in another player's shoes. How would you feel if you had paid all that money to see my cards and I wouldn't show them to you? Pissed off, that's how you'd feel. And I think I've already made it clear that I didn't want to upset these guys.
Now, this is the hand I was hoping you could help me with. I was on the button and was dealt pocket aces. Reraises all around. The flop was AA7. The guy to my left hesitated a little before putting his chips in. I hadn't noticed him do that before. What do you think that meant? The pot was jammed again and everyone was still in. Tough table, and I think this is what some would call a loose table. On the turn it was AA7J. For those of you who think it might make a difference in how I should play the hand in the future, the seven was a heart and the jack was a club. I have analyzed this hand many times to determine if either one of those suits requires a conservative bet in this situation, but damned if I know.
Now the river. Please take into account what I consider the most important details in this hand. Ten players, nine monsters with loaded guns within their reach, the player to my left uncharacteristically hesitated before reraising AA7, everyone is still in, no one has smiled or quit staring at me since I got there, and most crucial of all, I'm on the button.
The river is AA7JA. What the hell? The first thing I ask is if there are any wild cards. A couple of evil chuckles and someone grumbled about me being a f*****g rookie before some guy finally bellowed that, of course, there aren't wild cards. Well, that was it and I went full tilt. Those bastards were going to pay. I jammed the pot and made sure all nine of them paid to see my cards.
I flipped my rocket spades to go with the triple thruster spades on the board, stood up, and declared my full house flush. AsAsAs AsAs. Next thing I know, hands are flying, voices yelling, the man to my left stood, (he hadn't done that before) and accusations of cheating.
My face was red with fury, the sweat on my nose was causing my John Lennon glasses to slip down, and I had finally had enough. I called them a bunch of sore losers and told them to keep their money. Then I straightened up, pushed up my glasses, turned and stumbled over my chair, and left with my head held high.
Please help me and tell me how I might have played this hand better.
Thanks.

That's a great story and I would be shitting breaks If I was in the same situation. I probably would have said after I revealed my pocket aces that it shouldn't count considering the extra ace and count the deck. That's a tough spot to be in. I'm glad you got out of there in one piece. :afraid:

That story was complete horse shiat, lmao. I don't even think the writer meant for it to be taken seriously.

Lori's Knight said:

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. I could have folded. But, I'm a big believer in compassion and believe all poker players should be able to put themselves in another player's shoes. How would you feel if you had paid all that money to see my cards and I wouldn't show them to you? Pissed off, that's how you'd feel. And I think I've already made it clear that I didn't want to upset these guys.

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loooool, brilliant.

Re. the hand, fold preflop, or fold on the flop as it's pretty obvious someone has flopped 5 Aces, and will river 6 of a kind.

Edit: I hope that t1riel guy was being sarcastic.

Me too. But I suspect not.

Ok guys im off to play some poker, gotta get the spade and dig up the bankroll from the flowerbed outside, its a tin with like three hundred thousand in used fiftys like.

Then im borrow a wheel-chair like, and dribble at the mouth so i look weak like, and if i get 5aces im gonna fold them cause someone might have a gun.

Wish me luck.

Lori's Knight said:

I have half a mil in poker winnings stashed in a lockbox in my backyard by the elm tree.

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I see you're in Seattle. I'll pop right over for tea if you'll give me your address.

Dorkus Malorkus said:

loooool, brilliant.

Re. the hand, fold preflop, or fold on the flop as it's pretty obvious someone has flopped 5 Aces, and will river 6 of a kind.

Edit: I hope that t1riel guy was being sarcastic.

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Please note that I said it was "a great story." :bird:

Please Help Analyzing This Hand



Argh! This is what happens when freshman creative writing assignments go bad. OK I think we’ve got our work cut out for us before this is due. The problem as I see it is that it reads like a penthouse forum letter without the sex, and the story is about as bad as I’ve seen even on ESPN’s lameass series TILT. Still, there were a few things I liked about it even though it’s been done before. I liked the setting, the limp, the can of money in the back yard. All stock footage to be sure, but hard boiled pulp is nothing without a few dog eared cliché’s. Let’s see if we can at least make hamburger out of this road kill.

First of all we’re never going to pull this off as anything but pure hard boiled fiction. A genre which is at it’s best when gone over the top with flat characters and overused bromides





It was a dark and stormy night as I pulled into the back alley of a gin joint down 8 mile. I heard a fella by the name of Buckster was runnin’ a game and I was feebin’ for some action. I gave the place a good looking’ over before I stepped outta my 1967 Dodge Dart. A drunk passed out in a doorway, Tomcats rumagin’ through a dumpster, and used condoms and hypodermic needles strewn about like so many pebbles on a beach. At least this diabetic practiced safe sex.


I’d been travelling the highways and backroads of this country for 10 years; stoppin’ anywhere that a game of No Limit Hold 'em was being played. Of course I found myself playing in seedy alleyways, whore houses and crack dens as often as in the finest casinos in Vegas or AC. It was my guess that this place was gonna be the former. I made sure to leave the engine running just in case I had to make a quick exit. It wouldn’t be the first time.


I knocked on the door. Two slow raps followed by three raps in quick succession a pause and two more raps just like Willie Shylock said to. A small panel opened at eye level. “Whatta ya want?”
“The three legged dog bays at midnight.”
The door opened half way.
“Ya packin’?”
“Not tonight.” I says.


I looked around to see who I was playing against, and I must say that this was the first time I had ever been intimidated at the poker table. Staring back at me were nine of the hairiest knuckled thick necked palookas I had ever laid eyes on. They didn't seem none too friendly either. Nothing but scowls and not a "how do you do" from a one of ‘em.

Now, I'm the type of person who figures that I can beat anyone, anywhere, in a game of poker but even I’ll take any advantages where I can. Plan B with a twist or Jonas Salk on gas as I like to call it. I approached the table with a limp while fumbling for my breath inhaler. Always play opposite the table. Truer words were never said.


I aint no geezer, but with 10 long years on the road I’ve begun lately wonderin’ why the hell I continue to put my 5' 8" 110 frame in that situation time and time again. Was it just to satisfy my obsession to leave every table with a pocket full a dough? Surely the half a mil in winnin’s I got stashed in a lockbox in my backyard by the elm tree was enough to make a clean break from this life. Or was it? Just one more big score and I could go back to Lori at the diner with my head held high. One more big pickup and I could get ‘er that rabbit skin coat she wants or take her on that trip to the Jersey shore like she’s always been harpin’ on me for. Maybe this would be the night. It’s always one last big score. It’s always THE night. . But who are you kiddin’ Eddie? It’s never the night.


I’m a quick read and somethin’ told me there was somethin’ different about this buncha goons. Even if the cards went my way the odds o’ me walkin’ outta this joint intact were not favorable. Walk away Eddie, Walk away! But it was too late. After all, I already sat down. I figured I better lose some cash and save my ass, if you know what I mean. I just couldn't bring myself to believe that these thugs were going to let me leave alive with any of their hard earned, or otherwise, cash.


I paid my $400 BB and decided to fold the first chance I got and beat feet or Sit and go, if you get the drift of my meanin’ and I breathed a sigh of relief when I was dealt 2-7 off suit. Under the gun called and I was surprised to see the rest of the table call around to the small blind who eagerly tossed in his ½ bet. This was gonna be harder than I thought. I Raised expectin’ at least one reraise, and a quick fold on my part followed by a gracious exit. 9 calls. WTF! Now I had determined that these guys were gamblers, not poker players. Were they going to pay to see the flop every time and hope for the best?

The flop fell seven full-o-dueces. Under different conditions this would have been a wet dream now it was my worst nightmare. Don’t bet Eddie! Whatever you do, Don’t bet! The small blind checked, so did I, check, check. So now they’re tightwads? The action gets checked around to the button. Same thing on 4th street and again on 5th. Not even a lousy stab from the button. A 10 way showdown with my boat takin’ the $8,000 pot. Not exactly chump change. Avoiding eye contact, I gingerly pulled the chips towards me. I may have mumbled something about being sorry but the damage was done. I was stuck in this dive until these knuckleheads won their money back.


I payed my small blind and the cards were dealt. I look down and wouldn’t ya know it! Just my luck. American Airlines. My blood got flowing, my natural intincts kicked in and and before I knew it, I was tryin’ to figure out how to sucker these morons outta their last penny. As it turned out it wasn’t hard, even after 2 more aces flopped these bozo’s kept jamming the pot. This was gonna be a nice payday if I could just come up with a decent exit strategy. The turn was a rag and but I couldn’t have been more surprised if I had bit into a mayonnaise filled donut when another ace fell on the flop. Now math was never my strong suit, but with three aces on the board and two in the hole, even a washed up old rounder like me could see that the numbers just didn’t add up.


The first thing I ask is if there are any wild cards. A couple of evil chuckles and someone grumbled about me being a f*****g rookie before some gorilla with a mug like a catchers mitt that had been left out in the rain once too often finally bellowed that, “Of course, there aren't wild cards.” Please take into account what I consider the most important details in this hand. Ten players, nine angry cavemen with loaded guns within their reach. The pot was jammed and everyone was still in. I think this is what some would call a loose table. No one has smiled or quit staring at me since I got there, and most crucial of all, I'm first to act. Then reality set in. I was being set-up. If I flipped my rockets these neandertals could accuse me of cheating and beat me to a juicy pulp. If I laid ‘em down I’d loose the whole nights winnings and everything that I came with.


My face was red with fury, the sweat on my nose was causing my John Lennon glasses to slip down, and I had finally had enough. My recollection of what happened next is a little fuzzy. I hope that one detail will not keep you from being able to help me with my question.


Please help me and tell me how I might have played this hand better.
Thanks.





Ahhh! Much better, or much worse depending on how you look at it. Anyhoo, turn this in on Friday and if your instructor has got a sense of humor, or if he plays poker, you might pull off a passing grade.

LMAO, 4Dogs this is easily the best post that you've every written. Pure classic, hilarious, brilliant. Well done.

I want the 10 minutes of my life back that I wasted on this thread. Please for the love of all that is holy, close this sonofabitch and let it die.

In related news, that post by 4dogs was the Best.Post.Ever.

it reads like a penthouse forum letter without the sex

Come on, lighten up. I didn't mean it to be a master work. I see you have good editing skills, but your arrogance over such a trivial thing is astounding. Not getting enough respect? Maybe if you showed more respect to others, you would get the same in return.

Maybe your right Lori. Maybe I have been a little hard on you and on some of the others. You opened up to us about an obviously traumatic event i your life and I made a big joke of it. I'm a bad person. :dontknow: I've always been a laugh whore. :laugh: Even when I was a youngster I used to trip the kid with the cruches in the hall just to get some laughs and the approval of the bullies.:stickyman I would like to be respected. I,I crave it. Maybe this thoughtless insensitive post of mine is just a cry for help? Maybe this is my wake-up call. Maybe this is my chance to turn over a new leaf and start treating others with the respect that has been so lacking in my own life. :shakehand
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Nahhhh!:reddy: :thefinger

Ziiing!

Bored when you made that big edit, perchance?

Okay, proud father of three. I know when I don't fit in. I have nothing to offer. Enjoy your community of friends here. I'll enjoy the other forums available.

Dorkus Malorkus said:

Bored when you made that big edit, perchance?

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You got it.

Lori's Knight said:

Okay, proud father of three. I know when I don't fit in. I have nothing to offer. Enjoy your community of friends here. I'll enjoy the other forums available.

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No Lori, don't do that. I think you'll fit in just fine. You've been hazed. Go through some of my old posts, I think you'll find plenty of ammo to fire back with. Hang around a little longer.

Lorisknight, 4dogs was just messing with you, don't be bothered by him.

Damn 4dogs, are you trying to be the new diabloblanco? Be prepared for the PM's from admins about pissing off all the n00bs.