Variance Insurance

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zachvac

zachvac

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So with all the bad beats complaints I decided I'd start a business.

I am selling all-in variance insurance.

Tired of your AA vs. KK getting sucked out on? Tired of flopping a set and having the flush draw hit on you? No longer will you have to pay for bad luck.

- I'm only currently accepting customers playing 50nl or lower. This may change in the future if business gets good

- The charge is .25 PTBB/100 at 25nl+ and .5 PTBB/100 below that. This means that at 50nl this costs you 0.25 cents/hand and $2.50 every 1k hands, at 2nl it's 40c/1k hands.

- depending on how well I know you either we agree or you send me a deposit. We agree upon number of hands (in 1k increments) and after you play them we set up the client so it sends the hands from when we agreed to present time to my email address, at which point I import the hands into HEM, we determine how well/bad you ran and I pay you the difference.

How many times do I hear I'm good but only lose because people always get so lucky? Take the luck out of poker and start winning immediately :). Shoot me a pm if interested.

Any takers?
 
zachvac

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btw yes this is kind of a joke but if people actually want to buy it I will sell it.
 
pantin007

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lmao, im sold
 
c9h13no3

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I'M IN THIS IS NOT A JOKE!
 
zachvac

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Also available for tournaments. ICM deals or else straight up chips/prize pool deals are available. Send me a pm for details.
 
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hurricanebezy

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This is funny! LOL. You should start marketing this idea to full tilt and maybe they will pick up on the information.
 
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Kreepy

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Can We make this Full Tilt All in Insurance cause its a common thing on there
 
zachvac

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This is funny! LOL. You should start marketing this idea to full tilt and maybe they will pick up on the information.

Why would I market this to Full Tilt if you can buy it directly from me?

One more point is that with decreased variance you can also correctly play higher limits within BRM. Instead of 20 buy-ins you could play with 10 buy-ins since you don't have to worry about getting sucked out on once the money's in.
 
zachvac

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This is funny! LOL. You should start marketing this idea to full tilt and maybe they will pick up on the information.

Can We make this Full Tilt All in Insurance cause its a common thing on there

This service is available on Full Tilt, but I am coordinating it. If you want to purchase this service please send me a pm.
 
zachvac

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So for some reason I'm not getting pms. wtf is wrong here? You're all great players, you all have such bad luck and would do amazing if it weren't for variance. This is like me giving you free money. Why won't you take it?
 
Poof

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Well since you put it that way I for one have a pm on the way.
PPl please don't let this opportunity slip by once this thread sinks you wont see this offer again. It is not like you can just open any thread and get this info on this great deal.
 
zachvac

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It is not like you can just open any thread and get this info on this great deal.

fwiw I am doing my best to make sure this is not the case (ie you could just open any thread and get this info). Anything I can do to help the great people of cardschat :). Await your pm.
 
zachvac

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Well since you put it that way I for one have a pm on the way.

wtf liar:
Last Activity: Today 11:08 PM
Viewing Thread BUY-IN WIN @ 11:08 PM

Anyway just thought I'd point out, variance insurance only protects against variance, not liars like Pooffy ;)
 
Poof

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WTF don't you have more threads to spam, or is stalking my forum activity much more interesting, lol
Maybe you just didn't get to my pm because I am sure your inbox is inundated with pms;)

Geico, imo
 
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Poof

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LMAO oh my word.
I<Zach, lol
 
KingCurtis

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any deals for tourney players? ;)
 
aloevera

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I'm convinced that zach is a ROBOT or SUPERUSER:)
 
eNTy

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I don't get it, explain in further detail please :(.

I suck. :p
 
TheNoob

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This just might be crazy enough to work.

But wait a minute now.

You are playing with the poker Gods, and I doubt they are pleased. Suck outs, bad beats, whatever...... these are part of the game. How will it affect your play when you flopped a set of A's, but there are 3 of a suit on the board, and then GASP!, there is one more on the turn.

Just relax, have a cocktail and don't worry ........ I'm insured?

You'll ruin the game!!


(so ...... how much again?)


:D
 
kmixer

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Heck they have insurance for Black Jack in Atlantic City so why not.
 
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X__Gandalf__X

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Zachvac - Brilliant thread! Did anybody take you up on your offer? Whilst many of us complain about our bad beats, we know lady luck averages herself out in the long run, so I won't be buying - besides, if I had insurance, what would I have to complain about?
 
dufferdevon

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Like all insurance, read the fine print. Sure Zach says you need it but when it comes time to pay out, who is the adjuster?
 
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