you seem EXTREMELY negative... i know your going through some tough times in your poker game
but if you enjoy the poker game and want to be a winning player you cant let these losses get you down soo much..
MOST players will lose alot when they start out its all a part of learning... You wouldn't expect to pick up a guitar and start rockin out immediately, or get on a golf course and be shooting par ur first round.. Everything takes practice and poker is something that you will NEVER EVER stop having to learn and adapt..
id say dont completely eliminate yourself from poker this month, instead take the time and read through the forum, post some hands for analysis from your little bit of play online, let the people who are better explain things you may be doing wrong or could be doing better... Ive been doing this for like 1 1/2 now and i cant even explain how much ive learned about poker and my game.. and how to improve!! Keep your head up.. get better and get back in the game