Strangest Insults?

BobGrayling

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A thread about "conduct at the table" made me think of this question. What is the "strangest" insult/complaint you've ever gotten?

I instantly thought of a low stakes limit game I was playing in Laughlin, NV. The "opponent" was someone who loved to tell you how much he knew and WHO he knew. (More on that later.)

I'm holding QQ and reraise our hero post flop. He thinks for a while then folds. He asks "what did you have?" and I just muck. He proceeded to berate me for several hands... "A GENTLEMAN would show his cards." "A REAL POKER PLAYER would show his cards"... etc. (I subscribe to the theory that if you want to see my cards, you can put money in the pot. I don't give free information.)

But, it didn't end there. less than one round goes by and I'm in the BB with pocket kings. There are something like 7 limpers. Remember, this is a low stakes LIMIT game. One small bet isn't going to drive anyone out, so I decided just to check my option. We make it all the way to the river with no Ace on the board, and a very uncoordinated board. (Not bad for KK in other words.) And, once again at the river, it's the same guy and me. It goes all the way to show down, he turns over something like pocket 10s and is outraged (really!) to see that I have KK.

"Why didn't you raise? You HAVE to raise with KK? If I'd have known you had KK, I would have folded? Why didn't you raise?" (By this time he's sputtering.)

And, then the big "insult(?)"... "I've never been so confuse playing with anyone since I played with Bobby Baldwin & Stu Unger." I'm serious... he MEANT it as an insult. LOL I took it as a major compliment. Not that I would EVER include myself in that company. But, I always thought that part of the game of poker was to NOT let others know what you have. :D :D

IDK Maybe you had to be there? Or does it really count as a "strange insult"?
 
bradfordzilla

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had a guy making fun of the way i stacked my chips before i placed my wager. i was on hour 13 of an overnight session so things were starting to seem weird anyways and this guy was talking mad trash to everybody. that's about all i got.
 
rifflemao

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A live league host used to tell me my "bet button" was broken when I shoved a lot in late game. Meanwhile, he would routinely limp with 6 BB, lol.

I probably did shove more than necessary since there were no antes, but it worked pretty well.
 
K

kazor

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Think you guys need to play more poker in order to generate a more steady flow of insults. Not a good sampling.
 
BobGrayling

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Oh, I've been insulted more times than that, but, not necessarily that way. :p
 
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jimmy62

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I played at Harrahs in Laughlin, and was the subject of a complete meltdown by a players wife because her hubby had evidentally lost more than he was supposed to and since I had the most chips at the table she blamed me,(in a thousand derogatory ways).I heard her say things that most men wont even say.I tolerated it for about 45 minutes and got up to cash.Thats when I got to hear chapter two of her "bitc* book, all the way to the cage where i gave her a little wink and grin that made her almost stroke out.Im pretty sure shes been commited to one place or another by now unless hubby quit playing.If it was me, i would play continuously in hopes she would leave me, and prefferably the state of Nevada, and with any luck the Country.
 
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Wintz

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Once got called about a 10 word string of wear words in russian (had to translate in google) when i sucked out on him!
 
BobGrayling

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Come to think of it, I've been cursed in Russian online too. And, translated it the same way. I'd forgotten that!
 
cantavir

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I really I do not offend anyone, this is not typical for me, however, who are trying to insult me but I do not deal with the truth but often do not understand what you want to say
 
BadB420

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Ive had some strange insults thrown my way.. I cracked some dudes Aces with trip 7's to knock him out and he called me a "phuckin freeoll fag" LMAO!
 
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wabbitfry18

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It takes a little time to get used to

It takes some time to get used to playing poker with a self-centered, omnipotent, verbally aggressive person. I've done it for years, I was called dummy, stupid, retard, alot of times, WHILE collecting the insulters' chips!!
it's tough, but can be done. Be patient, tolerant, and learn how not to act!!
 
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11012015

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You got it a very rewarding experience.
 
Shells

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This one wasn't strange, but just lame... 'your mother wears army boots'..big ol' eye roll..'duh, my mother's in the army?'

She isn't, really..but sounded good. :)
 
WeenieSVK

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hmmm I cant tell If some "strange" or original insult was made to me, I dont remember anything special besides donk, lucker, idiot, gay, stupid, retard and this stuff :D I also dont insult other players, but If I would, that would be something special for sure :D
 
BobGrayling

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This one wasn't strange, but just lame... 'your mother wears army boots'..big ol' eye roll..'duh, my mother's in the army?'

She isn't, really..but sounded good. :)

Sounds good to me :D And, if it's online you could have said "so do I!"
 
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There was a guy on william hill a few years ago who was totally and utterly abusive all the time... so whenever I got a good pot off him I used to ask him if he was Peter Andre as he always seemed to play as I thought Peter Andre would play.... After a few weeks he was still as abusive as ever but had stopped having a go at me despite still ranting at the rest of the table. Eventually he asked me why I kept on asking him if he was Peter Andre.... so I replied... Because you're really really annoying and no matter how much everybody wants you to go away... you still stick around... It's because of him that I no longer shop at Iceland... that's where he goes apparently... and I'd rather not run into him if it can be helped
 
ccocco

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haha ... always to do the cards have to pay. is so that you do not like laments. what I saw is not uploaded with KK mistake .. I think that would have raised the pot. and maybe get more chips. would also be happy to see your cards .. lol
 
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underdog140

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I had tons thrown at me over my poker journey. The last couple that I can remember was being called a F888king Donk X 2 when the following hand happened.

I am on button with 44 on 25/50 cent table. I min raise to $1. Small blind raises to $2.75, at this point I was plan on folding but BB also calls. So I call the extra $1.75 and hit trips. Flop 7 4 9 . BB bets pot. I call .. J on turn .. BB goes all in, I call and bust his QQ for $100 pot.

While being called a F***king donk isn't all that shocking. What sticks out about this was that we were at a rush table. And few hands later I end up at the same table as this player again. Were he immediately notices me and says,
hi u kanadian f****king donk. But spelled a little worse. Not sure why but I got a good laugh out of it.

I am not sure if the below qualifies but I will include it as I also find it funny. I sometimes seek the below player out just for the laughs of reading what they type.

There is also a player at full tilt that always says things like .... mmmm sexy ... when he / she wins a hand.

I see no reason to let anyone upset you online. I enjoy playing with these type of players.




Edit: I bet this one takes the cake. I can't believe I almost forgot about it. I tilted someone so much .. they actually made a poker account with my user name in that read something like fumrdog. Someone that knew me notice it and reported them and they had to change the name. I thanked them but said it wasn't needed. He / she could have kept the name.
 
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solargarlic

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Sounds like you were playing against a complete monkey that had little to no clue about the nuances of the game. I can't remember specifics but it seems to me that I always get crap from the players that I think play the worst. I consider myself decent to good when the flips go my way but I don't think any time I have been talked down to at the table it was earth shattering. I try to act like whatever they say doesn't bother me and that seem to effect the villain more.
 
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MPaz_87

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Once someone told me "your mom has aids and she's going to die because she's a whor***e", I was like WTF dude??? It didn't affect me at all but it was too funny. Everyone on the table laught.
 
Bob23bk

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"come your mom throw"

Interestingly he used the word 'throw' several times in several 'insults'. He spoke obvious broken English, I'm guessing his google translator gave him throw instead of a real curse word as he thought it was extremely offensive:hahaha:
 
ammytyagi

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On Ipoker my pocket two flopped Four of Kind & cracked pocket Aces. That person called me gay, stupid, donk etc continuously for next 15 min. Then I asked him Did your mother know you play poker. He was silent for sometime then he ask me Does I know his Mom & keep apologizing. Very funny situation
 
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rugby0

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I was once called a drunk druid as i was having a great run of luck calling cards at the table in a serries of side bets. It was not hard to do as the guy was wearing a shiny bolo tie and his cards were reflecting for anyone to see.
 
gus201

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Was talking with a friend of mine 00AMC00 and he told me about a game he signed up forand started playing ( 0nline ) and some one out of the blue makes this statement in the chat ,"How did you get the 10 dollars to sign up for this game ".

Said he laughed and in a bout 34 or5 hours later he was chip lead by 210k .
Not sure why any one would make that type of statement .
 
Martinez

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Was in a NL limit tourney a couple of weeks ago at F.Tilt and sat on a table with an extremley tight player. At first he started to critisize my play and my winning pots sometimes with a bluff. He then turned to the rest of the table critising there play as well, all the time never playing a hand and waiting for a monster hand.
The first hand he played was AK off suit which lost to a pair of 2's at which point he verbally lost control, then 3 hands later called an allin with 10's against 7's and watched a 7 hit the flop. As an observer, he then went on to critsize every player at the table about there play and hand selection claiming he had been playing for many years and always seem to face idiot f****ing players with no idea how to play the game.
I don't mind critisism, it's part of the game, but for someone taking no part of a hand yet trying to tell everyone how bad they are just sticks in my craw.
 
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