S
Sandra87
Rising Star
Bronze Level
My husband and I have been married for some years, and we've had arguments over money during that time. Many of those arguments were due to us trying to mesh our different financial styles together, which I'm not concerned about. Starting out is often difficult.
What I am concerned about is how much money he spends trying to become a professional poker player. He's become a very good player in the past few years, but he does not make us extra money from it (although for some reason he thinks so), and it upsets him that I want to hold him back from his dream because he'd never do that to me. Our savings has been drained, our savings account is treated like an alternate checking, our stock account is dwindled, we have barely any retirement savings, and we've had pay periods where we overdraft because of his actions. He doesn't see it as his fault, somehow, but we've had discussions about it several times and I'm getting really tired of being the only financially responsible one. I've analyzed to see if I'm really the problem, but I can't find any reason. Taking out hundreds (sometimes 1k+) every week or pay period just isn't in the budget. We could spare a certain amount (an equal amount to what I take for myself each pay period, or a little more), but he won't do it.
I pay the bills, I let him know what hasn't shown as taken from our account yet, and tell him when I have to make a big purchase (or we both know when we need to make one together). He will not budget, he doesn't keep track of his cash flow (though I have, and I showed how much he cost us and we fought), and says he'd like to be able to say that I always supported him once he does make it big (I realize this is manipulation).
I don't know what to do. I told him before our last overdraft problem that I never wanted to have to take money from our savings again to cover food and other bills, we should never have that problem with what we make.. yet it still happened. He thinks because we haven't gone into debt we're fine.
I make less than he does, but I don't think that should mean he gets to do whatever he wants when he wants because we have a life together that needs to be considered, but he says he didn't get married so that someone else could tell him what to do with his money.
What I am concerned about is how much money he spends trying to become a professional poker player. He's become a very good player in the past few years, but he does not make us extra money from it (although for some reason he thinks so), and it upsets him that I want to hold him back from his dream because he'd never do that to me. Our savings has been drained, our savings account is treated like an alternate checking, our stock account is dwindled, we have barely any retirement savings, and we've had pay periods where we overdraft because of his actions. He doesn't see it as his fault, somehow, but we've had discussions about it several times and I'm getting really tired of being the only financially responsible one. I've analyzed to see if I'm really the problem, but I can't find any reason. Taking out hundreds (sometimes 1k+) every week or pay period just isn't in the budget. We could spare a certain amount (an equal amount to what I take for myself each pay period, or a little more), but he won't do it.
I pay the bills, I let him know what hasn't shown as taken from our account yet, and tell him when I have to make a big purchase (or we both know when we need to make one together). He will not budget, he doesn't keep track of his cash flow (though I have, and I showed how much he cost us and we fought), and says he'd like to be able to say that I always supported him once he does make it big (I realize this is manipulation).
I don't know what to do. I told him before our last overdraft problem that I never wanted to have to take money from our savings again to cover food and other bills, we should never have that problem with what we make.. yet it still happened. He thinks because we haven't gone into debt we're fine.
I make less than he does, but I don't think that should mean he gets to do whatever he wants when he wants because we have a life together that needs to be considered, but he says he didn't get married so that someone else could tell him what to do with his money.