While I agree that this distinction
"Sorry, it's my fault" (apology) and "I'm sorry for you" (empathy).
is true, and I agree that
if someone's relative died you might say "I'm so sorry" to the person, and yet it would be inappropriate for them to respond "Why are you sorry, you didn't kill them".
is accurate (and a rather amusing example), I do not agree with it being the
Same thing in poker: "sorry" means empathy (for a bad beat), not an apology for winning.
IMO, sorry (as in apology) does not apply because I'm not actually sorry my opponent lost even though I was involved, and sorry (as in empathy) does not apply because I don't feel for them or care that they lost. The
odds are all about math, not emotion. When a person is 88% to win a hand, it means that in the long run they will win 88 times out of 100. It doesn't mean they get to win 100 times out of 100 (like some players seem to believe...gee I'm 88%, I should have won), it means they are going to lose 12 times out of 100. People seem to get so hung up on how often they should win, that they seem to forget that. Then when one of the 12 times comes along, there should automatically be some out pouring of emotion or support because some statistical fact took place?
Guess I just don't see it. My goal is to win. By definition, for me to win, someone must lose. When I win, I'm happy for me, but I'm not even close to being sorry for their loss (not in any sense of the word). I'm sure as heck not apologetic because my goal was to win and that was accomplished. And I'm not empathetic because I had a specific chance of winning a hand (be it 90% favorite or 2% dog) and my chance held or came in just like it is supposed to on those number of occassions. Should we then start apologizing for
hands we win when we are 99% favorities? "I know you're supposed to win 1 time out of 100 in this scenario, and I truly appreciate how bad you must feel for not having that one time hit...I'm so very sorry." ???
Of course keep in mind that my hard line mindset on this is specific to my winning at the table. I can be empathetic when providing feedback on REAL bad beats in HA or the B&BB sections.