Post MTT Vent
You are smooth sailing in a super satellite. The winner of the beast has an all expense paid trip with buy in to the WSOP
You are raking pots like cookie monster working the stock at Mrs. Field's in a shopping mall.
You keep eating the chips but still you feel hungry. Your stack just for some reason doesn't grow. It just hit a plateau and stayed there.
You are playing smart, solid poker, controlling your table, but for some reason no matter how much you eat you still are hungry. Then it all becomes apparent.
Who the F is the tapeworm ? He's that creepy little bastich in the corner that keeps hitting that ^%$#@&*^ gut shot straight. He just won't freakin fold. You just raked 4 decent pots and collected 14 bbs. You got it all under control. You look down and see the AA on the button with a raise and a reraise in front of you. This is one of those times where you don't want to smile and give it away, but under the table you could swear "IT" moved a little bit (and for the ladies well we won't go there). You look back at your hand, lay it down, center a nice $1k chip on it. Move one big stack of black to the right and one to the left pushem toether in front with a small stack of those gold chips that carry all the weight in a nice pyramid.
With the confidence of the Ron Jeremy on a nude beach you slide those big boys in and even though Superman couldn't see through the darkness of your shaded oakleys, the vibe is out " Come and get some you rag playing poohbutt donkey beeeeeyatch".......The first chicken realizes theres a a chefs hat on your head and bails........the other chicken for some reason just looks at you stupid with that "maybe I do wanna be a french fry" look pushes aside the carrots and celery and eases into the pot like it's taking a sauna.
This somovab!tch did this before didn't he? You say to yourself recalling that burning sensation in your seat from the last time he called your raise. Well not this time you pot rapist you say to yourself, when that flop hits this punk is catchin a hook in his fronts. There it is the old mystical, magical, fantabulistic A-10-5 rainbow floppy-poo. You know this rectal wart is going to play his hand. You charged him a mint to see the flop. You have him out-chipped and you aren't about to throw a set of bullets away because the guy that put the D in douche ran you down before. IT's GO TIME!!!
You stack em up take the shades off so this half a sissy gelatinous glob of cardrack goo can see it's time to just wait for the next one. He leans back smirks and says "duh! okay George uuhhh! I'll gamble wit yas aheyulkheyulkheyulk aheyoooo" turns over his KJos looks at your 3 Majestic aces and says "duh! heyulk uuhhh! yepper that's what I thought you had heyulk heyulk" " nice hand there George duhh heyulk" the turn comes 3 and then theres that *&^%#$@@$%^&&$#@#%%#%# river
That wallet thieving river Q puts a dent in your stack so bad an insurance adjuster or in this case the dealer starts raking the chips and pushing them away as if you put them in to pay a deductable