Poker Goals (For Other CCers!)

icemonkey9

icemonkey9

Cardschat Elite
Silver Level
Joined
Jan 17, 2008
Total posts
3,023
Chips
0
I've decided that we are all too complacent and it's time that we all put in goals , but not for ourselves, but for others. Sure, many of us do put in goals, and usually attain half of them. But now, I am planting down the foot of poker legends squarely on your groinular regions and will scream "it is time that you are inspired to live up to the ridiculous goals of others." And shall it be so ...

I've decided that my goals for (written as if these already happened) ...

ChuckTs : By the beginning of 2009, he'll be 12-tabling 400nl. His monthly win will exceed $10,000 a month. With this money he'll buy a new condo and dedicate himself to charity away from poker. With his 41,000,000 VPPs a month, he will save up and get a new Porshe, and run over Dario Mineri with it.

Zachvac : While destroying all poker games in his sight, he regularly 24-tables 200nl, exceeding even ChuckT's win rate. He decides that this challenge isn't enough and adds not just one but two more majors - BioChemistry and Theater Dance. This unprecidented move sets up his debut in the wsop European Main event, where he finishes 2nd to Annette Oberstad. Afterwards, he announces their pending engagement.

WVHillBilly: Finally taking the advise he should have listened to long ago, he moves up to 50nl and proceeds to play 15,000,000 hands at this level. This number is an exact amount because it takes this long for him to realize he's way too good for the levels he's playing at. Finally, after amassing a large enough bankroll, he moves out to Vegas and becomes a small stakes NL pro.

KingCurtis: Finally getting to the age of 21 might be a big enough goal here. But we'll go one step further and simply saying that he will finally be able to satiellite into the WSOP Main Event, where he takes it down for millions. The goal past that will be to figure out how to evenly split it up amongst his deserving fans.

Custo: Finally attaining a bankroll where he can do some damage, Custo uses his modest BR to enter into a sat into the Sunday Millions. He wins. Entering again the next week into the Sunday Million tournament, he finishes a respectable 35th place. Using that money for research, he finds the cure for cancer.

bw07507: After taking my advise, immediately moves to 100nl fullring and continues to not just crush the competition, but snort their ashes as some sort of sinister celebratory event. Once there, he easily works his way to 200nl, 12-tabling, and decides it's time to give back to the poker community at large. He'll move to Vegas, and open the very first year-round poker academy with all topless instructors.

Inscore77: Decides to take his poker game to the next level and become CardsChat's official "mascot" donning an outfit from the Queen scene in Alice in Wonderland while playing online. This puts him "in character" and allows him to become the fiercest tournament pro online. Taking down $215 buyin tournaments regularly, he makes enough to retire and do what he always has dreamed - become a professional NBA superstar.

Munchers: After finally and successfully arming his first Protégé, he will take on another well known poker pro and mold them into his own likeness. This pro? Shannon Elizabeth. Riding her coat-tails (and other tails) all the way to the WPT Five Diamond Classic at the Mirage, he'll swindle her of all her money through legal contractual loopholes as her "official caregiver".

Jagsti: Although the internet world hasn't seen him in action yet, they will soon. Quickly climbing the ranks in late 2009 as the premiere cash game Heads Up player, he takes on Phil Hellmuth in a "win or die" matchup for all assets currently owned ... all aired lived in a reality tv setting on The Outdoor Life Network. Taking down Hellmuth, and winning his entire portfolio of assets (including his wife and kids) is a mere beginning to this bright star's future.

Bob_Tiger: After learning that his real father is none other than Scotty Ngyuen, he reuinites with his real family and promptly grows the best mullet this side of Billy Ray Cyrus. He leaves online poker for the real thing, live highstakes poker in Las Vegas. A regular in the Mirage High Stakes poker room, he takes down large pots from various oil barons, rock stars, politicans, and of course Sammy Farha. After winning his first million dollars, he invests his winnings in opening a new chain of haircut stores opening nationwide, named "The Cutoff".
 
Last edited:
pantin007

pantin007

member
Silver Level
Joined
Apr 12, 2007
Total posts
6,208
Chips
0
cc would be the most winning forum in the history of forums if 1/2 of that actually happens :D
 
Debi

Debi

Forum Admin
Administrator
Joined
Oct 13, 2006
Total posts
74,641
Awards
20
Chips
1,331
Very funny lol.

Hey -girls have goals too.
 
Irexes

Irexes

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Oct 10, 2006
Total posts
7,016
Chips
0
Ironing the perfect shirt is an ambition, not a goal.
 
S93

S93

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Total posts
6,154
Chips
0
lol this is to good ice!
But im still mildy ofended that u didnt mention me becoming a top notch begger,harazing people on online sites to send me 1$ and turning pro at it :) with a montly income of 27$ :D
 
icemonkey9

icemonkey9

Cardschat Elite
Silver Level
Joined
Jan 17, 2008
Total posts
3,023
Chips
0
I knew there'd be more. So here you go ...

dakota-xx : On a whim she takes a vacation to Aruba and meets up with some wealthy Arabian princes, who kindly ask her to help out with moving their luggages full of American cash. Always willing to help international relations, she helps and they tip her a cool $15,000 . Using this money she enters into the WPT Aruba Classic and takes a modest 3rd place. From there she takes on her lifelong ambition of winning a Guiness World Record, ironically ... for drinking the most Guiness. She wins.

Irexes: Honing in his master MTT skill , he takes down a major online tournament. With the winnings, he moves to the Camen Islands and starts his own online poker room. "EverPoker" is the first online poker room that allows you to play online poker for real cash AND EverQuest at the same time. This virtual poker world even has monsters, elves, and other quests that can be used as tokens for freerolls and gear. Sadly, the whole thing comes undone when it is revealed that Irexes illegally gave super-user status to pokerrqueen from Cardschat.

Sindri_93: The first multi-winner of the upcoming 2010 WSOP Asian Circuit, Sindri takes his winnings and moves to Russian to become new head boss of the KGB. Finally overthrowing the failing government, he takes the entire country's resource pool to buy into the 2010 main event. All of Russia's hopes and dreams rest on him winning the $10million first place prize. Sadly, Yoda, jedi-master, reveals that he is indeed a real life person, and takes down the tournament, sending Russia into everlasting economic destruction.
 
S93

S93

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Total posts
6,154
Chips
0
Hahaha its late and im lmao,please keep them coming!

btw u a writer by any chance?
 
P

ph_il

...
Silver Level
Joined
Feb 5, 2005
Total posts
10,128
Awards
1
Chips
25
Im almost too scared to ask what my goals are...
 
zachvac

zachvac

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Sep 14, 2007
Total posts
7,832
Chips
0
adds not just one but two more majors - BioChemistry...

No way in HELL am I majoring in biochem. I've taken all the bio courses I need and am most likely saving my final chem credit for senior year :). These are the 2 subjects I absolutely hate the most. I would be more likely to add theatre dance than biochem :).
 
A

Adventurebound2

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Total posts
4,935
Awards
1
US
Chips
40
Ok...You went way too far on Jagsti ! Winning someone elses wife and kids isn't a trophy, it's a punishment:eek:

BW, I'll volunteer to be the first student. Your school will bring a hole new twist "poker instructor" ( cards optional?)

Funny stuff Ice, Keep 'em coming, there's a lot more of us to pick on!:p
 
eNTy

eNTy

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Sep 22, 2007
Total posts
6,936
Chips
0
Not many know this but actually dakota's goal is to pay for her WSOP ME buyin entirely in 10 FPP cashings ..
 
KingCurtis

KingCurtis

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Sep 24, 2007
Total posts
9,946
Awards
1
Chips
1
Ice Monkey: After owning at 25nl, 50nl, 100nl, Ice monkey finally can quit his job and have enough time to play tournaments online, and live. After taking down 2 wpt's for over 2.5 million and winning close to 2 million online on pokerstars and FT he moves to Vegas and buy's two tricked out cribs. Thus moving back to cash games and making even more money. By the end of it all, Ice Monkey is the new owner of FT.......technically "owning" FT lololololololol
 
Debi

Debi

Forum Admin
Administrator
Joined
Oct 13, 2006
Total posts
74,641
Awards
20
Chips
1,331
Nick: Wins the lottery and invests his winnings wisely, eventually becoming the youngest person ever in the top 10 richest men. He then buys Google and fires the entire staff and fills the positions with his 50k members from his beloved Cardschat. As a Christmas bonus he pays all of their entries into the WSOP and for the first time in the history of the WSOP the final table consists of people who all work for the same company.
 
KingCurtis

KingCurtis

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Sep 24, 2007
Total posts
9,946
Awards
1
Chips
1
Nick: Wins the lottery and invests his winnings wisely, eventually becoming the youngest person ever in the top 10 richest men. He then buys Google and fires the entire staff and fills the positions with his 50k members from his beloved Cardschat. As a Christmas bonus he pays all of their entries into the WSOP and for the first time in the history of the WSOP the final table consists of people who all work for the same company.

Lol, sounds good to me! We are making some pretty good ones, I think Ice started something...:cool:
 
zachvac

zachvac

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Sep 14, 2007
Total posts
7,832
Chips
0
i want goals imfo :mad: :mad:

Vanquish:

In 2009 people have finally convinced him to become a stand-up commedian, he is compared to George Carlin and some even think he is better. he tours the world and makes millions, which is lucky for him because he is still running bad at poker and after taxes and poker losses makes around minimum wage.
 
bob_tiger

bob_tiger

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Jul 8, 2007
Total posts
2,735
Chips
0
vanquish: first vanquish starts off playing 1000nl online, which isn't very succesful because something happened with the doomswitch, so vanquish decides to take a break from poker and just watch soccer ( football), as he is sitting watching his favorite team ( Russia) play, he gets a phone call, the coach from Russia asks vanq to play on their team because their superstars got injured, and during his first game Vanq doesn't play a very good game and breaks his hand. Russia does end up winning the game and have to play Germany in the finals of the World Cup. Vanq is immediatly sent to the hospital, coach doesn't know what to do and Germany thinks they have the game. At the beginning of the game coach has to start off some rookie instead of vanq, at the half time Germany is leading 2-0, coach doesn't know what to do. In the mean time Vanq escapes the hospital, steals a nice Ferrari from some reach dude and is driving 120m/ph on a highway, he gets away from the cops and they just quit chasing him. 10 minutes in to 2nd half, coach still doesn't know what to do. vanq shows up and says coach let me play, coach is shocked and lets vanq play with a broken hand. vanq makes 3 sicks goals, hattrick to beat Germany, and receives 3 million dollars.He then parties for the rest of the year, by the end of the year he only has about 20k left, so he decided to get back to poker and goes to vegas, he also gets kicked off the soccer team. As he arrives in Vegas he checks out the number of entrants for the main event, it is 20k, he says ummm F**k it, buys himself in and next thing you know he WINS THE MAIN EVENT, and lives his life happily ever after as a poker professional and a ex-soccer pro.
 
I

Inscore77

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Aug 11, 2007
Total posts
3,511
Chips
0
Nice goal for me IM, but I'd much prefer Rocky lol
 
Top